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I'm so proud of my teen DD standing up for herself

223 replies

lyralalala · 28/08/2020 21:40

One of my 17yo DD's has just arrived home unexpectedly from her Dads. They've had a very up and down relationship over the years. He ditches the girls everytime he got bored, picked them up when trying to impress a new girlfriend and then dropped them again, repeatedly.

His now ex-wife absolutely loathed the fact he had DD's so he cut them from every event in his life when they had their own children. Incuding one occasion where they weren't allowed to their half-brother's christening as they had "family" staying so had no space (to sum up how they viewed them).

Anyway his marriage ended about 18 months ago. The girls stuck up for themselves when his now-ex gave them a lot of grief (she wanted them to have weekly contact with their siblings, but it turned out she actually wanted weekly babysitting for a course she was doing). He got back in contact with the girls at the start of lockdown. DD1 told him to bolt. DD2 has always been much more of a people pleaser. She doesn't have as much confidence as her sister as she has a few medical conditions and she has been seeing him again recently.

It's her Dad's birthday tomorrow so she was there from Wednesday. She spent all day today making cakes, quiches and bits for a lunch tomorrow with some family and his friends in the garden - knowing her Dad she's likely done a good chunk of cleaning his house to get it ready as well. Her Dad announced at 6pm that his ex wife had decided they really should stick rigidly to the rules (they've both been ignoring them since the start of lockdown - ex wife had around 45 people for a birthday party for her son a fortnight ago) so he's having a "small family gathering" at her house instead and since DD is not technically in his household she can't go. He said they'd have a fun morning together and then she could have a chilled afternoon instead.

She was upset, but said she was just seeing as "typical Dad" and was planning coming home tomorrow and not bothering with him again. However she heard him on the phone describing the cakes she'd baked to his ex and realised he was planning on taking them for the family gathering that she's not invited to....

So, while he was out for a run she boxed them all up and got a taxi home.

I'm so proud of her. She said she was petty, but she was just angry. I've told her it's not petty at all, it's sticking up for herself.

OP posts:
Pollypocket89 · 28/08/2020 21:45

It's not petty. I'm sorry her dad is such a massive twat though

FloatingAlien · 28/08/2020 21:47

Not petty at all. Well done her!

EarringsandLipstick · 28/08/2020 21:49

Your daughter is a ⭐️

Her dad is a waste of space. 😡

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Stompythedinosaur · 28/08/2020 21:49

That is brilliant! Good for her!

AuntyPasta · 28/08/2020 21:50

I’d be proud of her if she were my DD. She deserves so much better and he definitely doesn’t deserve cake.

MrsScrubbingbrush · 28/08/2020 21:50

Good for her! I bet they didn't see that one coming😉

Notgoingonholiday · 28/08/2020 21:51

Bloody good for her! I'd be proud too. Some dad's just don't deserve their kids. He's an arsehole and will be sad and lonely one day.

SonEtLumiere · 28/08/2020 21:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ratbagratty · 28/08/2020 21:53

Good on her! Her hard work shouldn't be going to them. Hope your all enjoy the 🍰. Please plan something to distract her tomorrow.

DameFanny · 28/08/2020 21:54

Tell her this random stranger thinks she's glorious Grin

EnjoyingTheSilence · 28/08/2020 21:54

Good for her

lyralalala · 28/08/2020 21:54

@MrsScrubbingbrush

Good for her! I bet they didn't see that one coming😉
He hasn’t noticed yet. He knows she’s left and has called her huffy, but there’s been no mention of the food so he’s obviously not been in the kitchen.

Part of me wishes I could see his face when he does notice. And his ex-wife. I’m not a “all step-mum’s are evil” believer as I’m a step-mum myself and know how hard it is, but that reputation probably stemmed from that woman’s attitude to my girls. She’s a nasty piece of work and he’s a knob.

I was meant to have a child free weekend, but DD, MIL and I will now be very well fed with cakes and quiche

Best of all I think she’s finally had her lightbulb moment with her dad. Which is horrible for her, but better long-term.

OP posts:
Tolleshunt · 28/08/2020 21:55

Not petty at all. What a prize arsehole he is.

Vile excuse for a ‘father’.

I’m so happy to hear your DD has the self-worth - despite his behaviour - to not allow herself to be used like this.

Beware that when the anger/adrenaline subsides, she’s likely to be feeling very sad and lost.

tootyfruitypickle · 28/08/2020 21:56

So great. My DD has just ditched her Dad. She’s stronger than I ever was, it took me ages to leave and even then I put up with his abusive emails and facilitated her contact. I told her when she was 11 it was up to her. She decided recently she’d bad enough .

Good for your DD. What a great lesson in relationships, she knows what she doesn’t want.

Cheesecakejar · 28/08/2020 21:57

My dad is an absolute arse and only gets in touch when he's inbetween relationships he's pissed me off my whole life. I'm 31 and still don't/haven't had the guts your daughter has. I'm proud of her and i don't even know her 💕

lyralalala · 28/08/2020 21:58

I’ll spoil her tomorrow. DH has our kids away for the weekend so it’ll just be me and DD.

He doesn’t deserve our girls and it was horrible to see the realisation hit DD1, it’ll be equally horrible when it hits DD2 over the next few days. Selfish twat.

I’m so proud of her (and got told to stop being embarrassing for saying so)

OP posts:
Theforest · 28/08/2020 21:58

I hope it makes him stop and realise what an arse he is.

OhCaptain · 28/08/2020 21:59

Good for her! Delighted she did that.

Petty would be if she'd laced them all with laxatives and waved him off. Wink

MairzyDoats · 28/08/2020 22:00

Bless her. She's discovered he's an a-grade a-hole but at least she'll be able to look back and enjoy remembering what she did when she found out.

Iloveacurry · 28/08/2020 22:04

Well done to your DD. Her dad sounds like a right knob.

Echobelly · 28/08/2020 22:04

Great stuff - she knows her boundaries and that she's entitled to them. Hope he learns a lesson that you can't take anyone for granted.

QuiltingFlower · 28/08/2020 22:13

Well done you - to have raised a young woman who knows her own worth :)

Sexnotgender · 28/08/2020 22:16

She sounds excellent!

What a pair of horrors they are.

GabsAlot · 28/08/2020 22:18

hes having a gathering at his ex wifes for his birthday- after your daughter organised something twunt-good for her

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 28/08/2020 22:20

Bloody well played dd2!