I'm so proud of my teen DD standing up for herself

[lyralalala]

One of my 17yo DD's has just arrived home unexpectedly from her Dads. They've had a very up and down relationship over the years. He ditches the girls everytime he got bored, picked them up when trying to impress a new girlfriend and then dropped them again, repeatedly.

His now ex-wife absolutely loathed the fact he had DD's so he cut them from every event in his life when they had their own children. Incuding one occasion where they weren't allowed to their half-brother's christening as they had "family" staying so had no space (to sum up how they viewed them).

Anyway his marriage ended about 18 months ago. The girls stuck up for themselves when his now-ex gave them a lot of grief (she wanted them to have weekly contact with their siblings, but it turned out she actually wanted weekly babysitting for a course she was doing). He got back in contact with the girls at the start of lockdown. DD1 told him to bolt. DD2 has always been much more of a people pleaser. She doesn't have as much confidence as her sister as she has a few medical conditions and she has been seeing him again recently.

It's her Dad's birthday tomorrow so she was there from Wednesday. She spent all day today making cakes, quiches and bits for a lunch tomorrow with some family and his friends in the garden - knowing her Dad she's likely done a good chunk of cleaning his house to get it ready as well. Her Dad announced at 6pm that his ex wife had decided they really should stick rigidly to the rules (they've both been ignoring them since the start of lockdown - ex wife had around 45 people for a birthday party for her son a fortnight ago) so he's having a "small family gathering" at her house instead and since DD is not technically in his household she can't go. He said they'd have a fun morning together and then she could have a chilled afternoon instead.

She was upset, but said she was just seeing as "typical Dad" and was planning coming home tomorrow and not bothering with him again. However she heard him on the phone describing the cakes she'd baked to his ex and realised he was planning on taking them for the family gathering that she's not invited to....

So, while he was out for a run she boxed them all up and got a taxi home.

I'm so proud of her. She said she was petty, but she was just angry. I've told her it's not petty at all, it's sticking up for herself.

Good for her! I hope she's spent tonight chilling out and making her way through the pile of cakes and enjoying every single bite!

Well done her, he’ll be moaning in a few years oh I never see my kids these crap parents always do. My dad was the same.

What a lovely girl and what a pathetic dad. She did the right thing...quick thinking. Good on her. Hope you enjoy the cakes!!

Wow that's bloody genius, good on her !!!!!!!

Good for her!

@GabsAlot He’s clearly hoping to get the ex wife back. Or into her bed. Despite slagging her off constantly since they split

@Holothane He does that anyway. He goes on about how he “fought” for his access to the girls. He did go to court, needlessly, and “won” EOW, half holidays, alternate Christmases and girls’ birthday, Father’s Day and his birthday. I objected to none of it at any stage yet he still insisted on court....then went away for 7 months with the military (fair enough) and didn’t see them for 14 weeks when he got back as he was busy catching up with “family and friends” (not so fair enough). He was due to have them for that Christmas and didn’t let on until December 14th that it wasn’t happening.

It took four years of his messing before I could get that order changed.

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

They sound like wonderful girls.

I like her style, you have raised her well.

Ha! Your DD has truly hit him where it hurts. Attagirl.

Good for her. Sadly I don’t imagine it will teach him a thing, these types never accept when they’re wrong, but I hope she enjoys the cakes and he feels like a twat having to turn up at his ex’s with nothing.

And what’s with having the party with his ex wife anyway?

👏👏👏 bravo to your DD. But also how sad for your girls, too - he's a sorry excuse for a Dad. Glad they've got you. And you now gave cuddles and 🧁🧁🧁

What a GIANT TOOL.

Your DD sounds bloody epic! Enjoy the cake!

I actually wanted to cry with anger when I read your post and that has never happened even with the craziest MIL posts.
Even the worst narcissist in the world realise they were being intentionally cruel in that situation.
What an utter utter selfish horrible prick and what a star for standing up for herself.

Haha legend!

Wonder if the cheeky bastard probably wanted to claim he made the cakes and that's why he didn't want her there.

Enjoy those cakes!

Well done to your DD. You should be so proud that you've raised 2 daughters that know their worth.

@Bunnymumy

Haha legend!

Wonder if the cheeky bastard probably wanted to claim he made the cakes and that's why he didn't want her there.

Enjoy those cakes!

His ex knows that DD made them. She despises my girls for some reason, ever since she had her own (before then they were told to just ignore it if anyone referred to her as their mum as it was too complicated to explain) she’s been awful and has always loved asking him to choose knowing he’d pick her so it’ll be her that’s said that DD can’t go.

He should have said no and kept the gathering at his house, but he’s a complete knob so has gone with the option that might see him get laid.

He’s lost his entire family over the years. He doesn’t talk to his parents because they went over his head and came to me to arrange to see the girls. That was disrespectful apparently. His siblings think he’s a knob. Dd1 has no time for him whatsoever. Now DD2 has seen his true colours

I know someone who “fought” for access to see his children

The court case was a farce and over in 2 minutes as their mum said she had no objections to him seeing his children and never did have.

He too just wanted to show how he “fought to see his children”

Then never turned up to take them out on the first weekend

good for her,

I wonder if he date contact her to ask where they are!

Dare contact*

@Oliversmumsarmy

I know someone who “fought” for access to see his children

The court case was a farce and over in 2 minutes as their mum said she had no objections to him seeing his children and never did have.

He too just wanted to show how he “fought to see his children”

Then never turned up to take them out on the first weekend

Very similar here. Everyone involved was baffled by it.

He had a girlfriend at the time who had her own children and was a lovely, lovely woman. I’m fairly sure he’d fed her a sob story as to why he rarely seen the girls and that was why he went down the “fought for my kids”

He stuck to it for a whole month - two visits - then the excuses started, but he also used it as a control tool. Sometimes he would say he was coming so I’d have to have the girls at home waiting and he just wouldn’t show.

He hauled me back to court when he turned up once and we were away. He hadn’t seen the girls for 4 months at that point and I hadn’t heard from him (I actually doubt he turned up, I think he just found out I was away). We both got told off for poor communication. I was so pissed off with the court at that one because, of course, what happened was that if I said “the girls have a birthday party” or “we have plans” suddenly that day was one he 100% wanted them.

Four years of that shite we had.

Good for her!!!

And its his bloody loss! Your dds are worth so much more and glad they both know it now.

I’m imagining him trying to recreate the cakes and quiches he made with dd so he doesn’t lose face with his ex.

The look on his face when he realised dd had gone off with all the goodies must have been a picture

Your DD is a legend!

I have an ex who is similar. Dds are adults now, ignore him.
Good on your dd it’s hard to do but incredibly brave.