Answer the question above you. Wrong answers only.

[bearlyactive]

For example:

Q: "How do you cook an egg?"
A: "Fry it on the bonnet of your car, especially in this heat."

My question to you is...
Why do storks raise one leg?

Because wedding dresses used to have steam engines embroidered on them. The fabric had to be quite long to fit all the carriages on. Fallen out of fashion now, but that bit of dress is still called the train.

Where is my motivation to pack my bag?

Down the back of the sofa, I expect.

What's the oddest thing you've ever found down the back of your sofa?

Because it can't be called a bus can it ,why has it gone all cloudy now I persuaded Dh to start the barb b que?

Oh, I know the answer to 'why has it gone all cloudy now I persuaded Dh to start the barb b que?'

It's because the Rain God really appreciates burnt meat offerings and likes to reward them with a good downpour.

My sofa question still needs an answer.

Found Boris done back of sofa, he'd escaped from a freezer apparently.

Do cats have different languages?

Yes but they're mostly variants of ancient Egyptian.

Where is the thunderstorm I was promised today?

No thunderstorms today, the lightning has gone on strike.

Are we nearly there yet?

Yes, 200 miles past.

Will my DD get a place in Uni with this fecking fiasco?

It depends on whether she tripped over her shoelaces in Yr3.

Will a 13yo survive 5 days camping in a mobile blackspot?

Yes but they will turn into a version of Michael j foxes werewolf.

Do werewolves snore?

Yes but only on s Thursday from midnight , why did I eat to much?

You are getting ready to hibernate for winter (if there's a second wave it couldn't hurt to do this 😂)

How should I have my steak cooked

Stick it through a vampires heart then fry the whole lot with a bit of garlic, black peppercorn, red wine, mushrooms & cherry coke.
Serve up with cold Ambrosia rice pudding.
And don't forgot to sing & dance to the YMCA whilst cooking otherwise you will burn the whole lot.
Any leftovers/bones/skin etc need to be put in your coffee machine, ground & then scattered on the garden as fertiliser whilst singing Britney's 'Oops I Did It Again'
Finally you prostrate yourself on the grass singing 'All Hail Kevin Bacon'
Otherwise the next steak will taste yuck & your fridge will explode.

Failing that go to the chippy instead.

How did early humans decide that a 🌳 is called a tree, an 🍏or🍎 is called an apple, 🔥 is fire, ☀️ is sun, 💦💧🌊 is water, etc?

How did early humans decide that a 🌳 is called a tree, an 🍏or🍎 is called an apple, 🔥 is fire, ☀️ is sun, 💦💧🌊 is water, etc?

A series of involved committee meetings chaired by a man called Norman who wears underpants that come up to his armpits and starts every sentence with a loud sniff. He also crams a lot of essential items into AOB, forcing the rest of the committee members to stay late after work. Doreen (secretary) spends idle moments fantasising about beating Norman to death with her office grade stapler.

What makes the grass grow?

Hydroponics in a sealed room in a dodgy inner city area (don’t tell the rozzers).

Can I wear a tiara in the bath?

Yes, but only after the queen's birthday when she's finished with it.

Why do cat farts smell like mushy peas?

Because the dog ate all the beans the cat only had mushy peas left

Why do mushy peas come in so many different colours from yellowish to jade green (blurgh)

Because the pixies only had those colours when they were painting them.

How can I get my hair to grow?

Sleep upside down with your head in a compost bag.

Why does Gordon Ramsey look like a Pound Puppy?

It's a look he feels suits him and he's cultivated it since he was seven should I go to bed soon?

No, all night rave for you.

Were they on a break?

The court judgement declared then to have been in and off a break, and both did time.

What's the nicest flavour crisps?

Roast beef.

Who is the best X factor winner??

It will be Sooty & Sweep when they get round to entering.

Can somebody explain string theory to me as I want a second opinion?

String theory relies on an infinite variable that nobody has yet defined.

Who let the cat out of the bag?