Answer the question above you. Wrong answers only.

[bearlyactive]

For example:

Q: "How do you cook an egg?"
A: "Fry it on the bonnet of your car, especially in this heat."

My question to you is...
Why do storks raise one leg?

Those were the cheap colours in the shop when their ancestors went to get new coats.

Question
Why are sheep so big?

Their coat got all fluffed up in the tumble drier.

Why does time pass so quicly some times and slow others?

Because father time said it does ,why is my dog asleep?

He’s not, he’s pretending until you go to bed and he can finally watch what he wants on tv.

Why does my left foot itch?

Because of wrackspurts..

Why can't l get prawn quavers?

Because the manufacturers are too shellfish to make them.

Why am I reading Mumsnet when I should be asleep?

You actually ARE asleep and just dreaming that you are MNing.

What does the Queen keep in her handbag?

A mask.

What can I try to stop my sagging boobs?

Boob braces work really well. You can get 2for1 on Amazon at the moment.

How do you use a Q-tip?

For placing a bet on who'll be the new Q in Bond.

Which of my cats brought in the bird this morning?

It wasn't your cat. It was your hot but creepy neighbour.

What should I do today?

Sing with the starlings

What should I get MIL for her birthday?

A new face mask and a subscription to Mills and Boon ,shall I make something to eat?

Only if you can cook it on a shoe.

Would you eat a snake?

Only from the inside to escape.

Shower or bath?

Neither, just use a hosepipe

How do you get through to Hermes?

You have to knock 3 times, then push the wardrobe door to Hermes, a goblin awaits sitting on a magnificent lion.

Can Cats count?

No because they only have claws to count, not fingers. And they're plotting their take over of the world, counting's for perceived lesser beings.

Why does my hedge grow in spurts inexplicably overnight and it constantly looks overgrown?

Absolutely as all cats have a PHD in Mathematics (that's why they think they're so superior)

Why did I dream of Mark Ruffalo & this Mumsnet thread last night?

Because Mark Ruffalo crept into your room and whispered sweet AIBU nothings into your ear all night.

Why is the sky blue?

Because the clouds are in quarantine today

What did Schroedinger have against cats?

He was allergic.

Why did my cat decide it was a good idea to go out in the rain, then sit on me and make me wet?

Because he thought it would save you the chore of going upstairs to have your shower & also thought you would give him a treat for being so kind & helpful.

@Puffalicious
Why does my hedge grow in spurts inexplicably overnight and it constantly looks overgrown?

Because it wants you to take it to your posh hairdressers for highlights, followed by a facial, eyebrow thread & tint & gel nails at the beauty therapy spa next door.
So that's why your hedge looks like it's been dragged through a hedge backwards as it wants your attention & some tlc.

Why is a train called a train?

@Milbo I wish!
Though it's actually his voice more than his looks that does it for me.