MN vs real life

[GlummyMcGlummerson]

Can we have some (lighthearted) comparisons about what MN is like compared to real life. I'll start

MN: a roast chicken last for 14 days for a family of 5
RL: a chicken is cooked and the carcass is disposed of. At a push, the meat is taken off the bones for soup

MN: Parent and child spaces should only be used for randoms with invisible leg problems. Even if you have 5 children you should park in a normal space and not be so entitled as to think P&C spaces are for you
RL: Parents Park in P&C places and get annoyed when people without kids park in them

MN: Everybody wants a low key wedding with 6 people in the local cafe and the bride wants to wear a nightie she bought for 80p from the Scope shop
RL: most people have a lovely wedding in the region of £20k with a dress bought from a wedding boutique

@PurpleDaisies

MN : did you mean to be so rude?

RL: Yes.

I love this one! I'm now just waiting for the opportunity to say that!! 🤣🤣

MN; being fat is a choice, fat people should choose to be thinner and stop being such an embarrassing drain on society and parading their stupidity and lack of self control around normal sized people.

RL; It's complicated and everybody is different.

MN: Just get £20 cashback every time you shop and you’ll soon have enough for the deposit on your escape flat!
RL: Shopping twice a week, it’ll take about five years.

MN: Well if a stranger had said something like that to me I’d have shouted at them to fuck off and asked what was wrong with them!
RL: You’d have edged past and gone on your way.

MN: expects anyone who so much as looks at their child to have a DBS check done first.

RL: happily exchanges small talk and tells DC to wave goodbye at the nice lady.

MN - your DP picked up your phone to give it to you. He is stalking you and is a major red flag you should LTB immediately
RL - thank you for passing me my phone

MN - unless you BF your child you will have no connection with them and it equates to letting them survive on filthy water
RL - babies survive and thrive

MN: I calmly told the aggressive man to stop his dog running free

RL: I walked away quickly

Poster comes on to share some parenting disagreement with their other half.

MN: did you not discuss this before you had kids? And agree how you would react?

RL: no we didn’t. Funnily enough I had no inkling ten years ago that this specific situation would arise and we would not agree on it. And I have not pre-nupped every aspect of child rearing with my other half before we had kids. We just sort of wing it day by day.

Mn - should never have a dog whilst your DC’s are young

RL - DC’s and dog curled up asleep together in front of the TV.

MN, my husband has a female friend. They’ve known each other years, should I be worried. Oh yes, he’s clearly fucking her, men and women can’t be friends, Ltb immediately.

RL is she nice? That’s cool. Nothing to worry about, good he’s got friends of both sexes.

MN toilet brushes are the work of the devil.
Rl everyone has a toilet brush.

MN grey paint is hideous.
Rl grey paint is very fashionable.

MN mrs hinch is the devil incarnate who is secretly conning the world and lives in a hideous home.
Rl. Mrs hinch is hugely popular and her house looks just fine..

@Pogmella,I love this 😂😂x

Ah yes....the counselling! Everybody has to ‘unpick’ everything.
If your husband looks at you the wrong way, you give him a mouthful of abuse, pack his clothes in bin bags and change the locks! Honestly, would the people who advise this actually do this themselves?? It’s ridiculous!

MN - Someone behaves badly. They must have a mental health problem or a neurodevelopmental disorder.

RL - It's just someone behaving badly.

MN- someone has parked in front of my house hand wringing thread

RLtexts next door neighbour Hi Sandra can you ask your visitor to move their car in a bit dh wants to park there when he gets home,cheers.

This actually happened yesterday to me.No drama,no making of enemies,just asked a polite civil question and voila.

Don't know why it crossed some of it out there

MN, you drink sixteen units a week? You’re clearly an alcoholic and need to speak to your doctor. I drink one sherry at Xmas and that’s it,

Rl, I drink sixteen units a week, it’s fine.

MN: DD/DS (early twenties) has just called at midnight and missed the last bus. MNetters - well they will need to get a taxi then! Or stay overnight with their friend, they need to grow up and sort themselves out!

RL:

MN: I'm 5ft., 8in. and weigh 9st.

RL: Yeah, right!

@Destroyedpeople you won MN for me today with the rickshaw comment

MN: asking for money as a wedding gift is grabby and tacky.

RL: everyone asks for money as a wedding gift and no one minds because it's easier and less wasteful that tatty gifts.

@DisobedientHamster

MN: I'm 5ft., 8in. and weigh 9st.

RL: Yeah, right!

Eh?

RL - we’ve been invited to a wedding, don’t really want to go but we must as they have invited us

RL - sends a sorry we can’t attend card

MN - I am raging and fumming about this - WIBU to report to HR / the police / the school / the council etc and complain???

RL - Tut.

MN: All landlords are scum who have pushed up house prices so high people have no option but to pay their inflated prices
RL: Many people are happy to rent, especially for short periods, due to their life circumstances (at uni, relocating, don't want to be saddled with the responsibility of a mortgage) and many landlords treat their tenants well as long as the rent is paid and they don't trash the place.

Also doffing my hat to the poster of the rickshaw comment. Excellent work.

MN: CF parked across my disabled Mum's driveway (see diagram).

RL: This diagram took me ten minutes and the bastard drove away before I'd finished!