MN vs real life

[GlummyMcGlummerson]

Can we have some (lighthearted) comparisons about what MN is like compared to real life. I'll start

MN: a roast chicken last for 14 days for a family of 5
RL: a chicken is cooked and the carcass is disposed of. At a push, the meat is taken off the bones for soup

MN: Parent and child spaces should only be used for randoms with invisible leg problems. Even if you have 5 children you should park in a normal space and not be so entitled as to think P&C spaces are for you
RL: Parents Park in P&C places and get annoyed when people without kids park in them

MN: Everybody wants a low key wedding with 6 people in the local cafe and the bride wants to wear a nightie she bought for 80p from the Scope shop
RL: most people have a lovely wedding in the region of £20k with a dress bought from a wedding boutique

[wanderings]

RL: Lol, that’s funny!
MN: Why are they wearing shoes in the house?!

[FlamedToACrisp]

Or spell 'keys' lol.

[FlamedToACrisp]

My IQ is 158.

MN: No one cares.

RL: No one cares. And I can't even find my car leys half the time.

[CherryValanc]

Are IQ tests common in the real world? I was about 11 when I did one (some school entry thing). Which was about a thousand years ago. Think I'd score different now (as in lower)

Maybe that's where the MN average iq of 2000 comes from. Some made up score for the 11+

[bluebadgehelp101]

@worstyear2020 a score of 130 would only be mediocre surely? 😬

[Worstyear2020]

130 IQ scores seem very common on MN too.

[Mothermorph]

RL : I was disappointed that my DH, kids, family and friends all forgot my birthday or couldnt come to my 40th birthday.
MN: no one celebrates birthdays after the age of 8, you are being an entitled princess and should be happy with a thimbleful of wine and a half a cupcake.

[Dontforgetyourbrolly]

Mn : why did you have a child with this man, you only have yourself to blame

RL : that's true , I deliberately looked for the most abusive man I could find and made sure he would never do any parenting at all . The fact that he's also stealing money off me is a bonus

[Parker231]

RL - am very tired, sleeping badly, working long hours
Mn - it must be your thyroid. Get an emergency doctors appointment.

[Clumsyduck]

Dh left a sock on the floor - omg LTB

Dh Only got me a £2 box of celebrations and a lame card from the petrol station at 9pm on my birthday And only after me making him feel guilty AIBU To be gutted ? - grow up who even celebrates birthday past the age of 8 . Spoiled much ??

[forgetthehousework]

RL My child is behaving like a little shit today
MN Could your child be undiagnosed ADHD?

[wanderings]

MN: my teenager is a careful and conscientious cyclist.
RL: helmet on handlebars instead of on head, socks and sliders, wheelies.

[MsTSwift]

MN my teen children do not leave the house unaccompanied by me, an armed guard or Liam Neeson following at a safe distance. Anyone that allows a 14 year to meet her mates is asking for the girl to be abducted by groomImg gangs will become a drug runner or if she does exercise outside it’s an eating disorder.

RL my pre and early teens often meet pals out and about or go for walks runs or bike rides. It’s totally normal

[locked2020]

@SingingBabooshkaBadly

How long does it take you to clean your house?

MN: I have five bedrooms, three bathrooms, large open plan kitchen/dining/family room, separate sitting room, study, play room. I deep clean twice a week including removing and washing all curtains, scrubbing floors, walls and skirting, cleaning windows inside and out and changing all bedding - twice.

Takes me two hours.

RL: Well, today I cleaned the bathroom and changed the sheets - go me!

[locked2020]

@Llamazoom

MN ugh, smokers are vile, they stink, they drain the NHS, they are thick and common and chavvy.

RL nicking a cigarette off a friend to enjoy with a glass of wine on an evening out and also not scowling at anyone within 10 feet of you who is smoking.

Current smoking thread is hilarious.

There's some v bizarre things on that thread! One person cannot be near someone who's smoked, but not actively smoking - has to leave queue/hold nose etc...then goes on to say that she bought a house from a smoker! Clearly she didn't have to run gagging and holding her nose whilst viewing it and living in it then . Another poster said that if they'd found out any of their friends had ever smoked in the past, they'd feel they were infected and wouldn't be able to feel anything for them again!! Another puts their parcels in the garage for a few days to get rid of the smell, (as obviously if the smell is that awful for you, you couldn't just open the box and bib the packaging straight in recycling)! Bonkers thread.

[EasilyDelighted]

"I'm having trouble sorting out childcare for the summer holidays"

RL - I know, it's a pain isn't it. Have you tried the club at the sports centre?

MN - but you must have known before you conceived that schools have 6 weeks off in the summer?

[MsTSwift]

Nah I’m with mumsnet in the MLm thing!

[daisychain01]

@GinWithASplashOfTonic

MN - MLM schemes are the terrible
RL - Colleague:" fancy coming over to my house for wine and nibbles whilst my sister sells you stuff?"
"Yeah, sounds good"

This one stands out as being the same on MN as RL

MLM schemes are shite, no exceptions.

[Threelionsandalioness]

Thank you op and everyone else who's commented I so needed this thread today (this morning) got to be top three best threads ever x

[AlternativePerspective]

@ GlummyMcGlummerson is it the DP arrested for drink driving thread?

TBH that thread is mental. In the beginning it did sound as if there could be an issue but the more the OP said the more it sounds as if it was just them drinking the night before, and the responses have been truly batshit. Clearly he is a raging alcoholic, in fact they both are nasty drunks who offend the neighbours on a constant basis, and he deserves to have been arrested.

Mind you there is a self-confessed alcoholic on there who claims that the police don’t have a leg to stand on and that it’s easy not to be caught because she has an exemplary record with a [hmm[

TBH I generally find the opposite in that people are always desperate for alcohol on here, and I have even seen threads where people e.g. say they would never date someone who is teetotal.

[ItWasNotOK]

@GlummyMcGlummerson i find it the opposite. Mn goes on and on about gin and wine and how much they need a drink to the point of tedium.

[TheSunIsStillShining]

@Parker231

Mn - pink babygros for girls and blue for boys.

RL - they wear whatever is clean from the pile of clothes passed on from friends and family.

We got pregnant with our kids at almost the same time with my best friend (not planned and 3 months apart :))
And we didn't know the gender yet, but 2 shops had huge sales. She knew she'll have at least one more kid, I didn't think so.
We agreed to split the cost of many of the cloths as by the time her baby is 3 months old mine will be a newborn and it'll be almost as new. But not knowing the gender we had to improvise, so we went for loads of beige, yellow, orange, green, red and only some really cute blue/pink items.
Turned out we both had sons, then she had another son and 10 yrs later she finally had a daughter. So event the pink items got used eventually. And her daughter's first 6 months wardrobe was more than 80% the original batch :D It actually was really cute to see the 4 different kids in the same outfits.

[GlummyMcGlummerson]

I've actually just commented on a thread that I rarely drink but "enjoy the odd beer on a Sunday afternoon" - someone replied "well maybe you like to quickly down drinks on an afternoon" 🤣🤣🤣 I couldn't not mention it here!

[GlummyMcGlummerson]

That's very true @Mothermorph - I mean if only there were large vehicles with lots of seats people could use to get to places, or cars for hire? I think I'm on to something there