MN vs real life

[GlummyMcGlummerson]

Can we have some (lighthearted) comparisons about what MN is like compared to real life. I'll start

MN: a roast chicken last for 14 days for a family of 5
RL: a chicken is cooked and the carcass is disposed of. At a push, the meat is taken off the bones for soup

MN: Parent and child spaces should only be used for randoms with invisible leg problems. Even if you have 5 children you should park in a normal space and not be so entitled as to think P&C spaces are for you
RL: Parents Park in P&C places and get annoyed when people without kids park in them

MN: Everybody wants a low key wedding with 6 people in the local cafe and the bride wants to wear a nightie she bought for 80p from the Scope shop
RL: most people have a lovely wedding in the region of £20k with a dress bought from a wedding boutique

Mn - mother’s in law are evil

RL - you have a lovely relationship, look forward to seeing them and ring them up independently of DH

MN: We've remortgaged the house to pay for private school, tutoring and 11 different extra curricular activities a week. We just VALUE education and want our child to be a well rounded individual are sharp elbowed gits

Real life: Well, they have swimming lessons on Mondays and... That's about it really. I don't have time or money for that shit. Seem to be doing alright from where I'm standing.

Mn - I’ll never let my DC’s watch TV

RL - Tv on all day.

@betteliefsen

MN: During lockdown we are spending time rediscovering board games and jigsaw puzzles as a family as well as going out for long walks to get our exercise. RL: Everybody is on the playstation/mobile phones all day and ignoring each other. Exercise is a trip down the middle lane at Lidl.

Yes!!

MN: have a family day in snuggled up with a film, popcorn and hot chocolate
RL: Film is over by 10.30 am and there's popcorn on the cat, and hot chocolate on the white school shirt one DC decided to put on despite it being Saturday.

MN: whip up a lovely home made costume for a Victorian urchin with faux ragged trousers and a cloth cap you sewed yourself.
RL: the urchin goes in his school trousers tucked into Dad's tube socks having realised there's yet another dress up day at 8.30 am.

Mn- Cadbury's chocolate is vile!
RL- Pass the dairy milk!

Mn - I would never deny my DC’s breast milk

RL - who cares how you feed your baby.

MN- yabu to even be friends with someone who owns a hot tub
RL - enjoying chilling out in hot tub with glass of champagne and NOT catching chlamydia

MN - friends around for dinner. Spend all day preparing new recipe with 27 ingredients.

RL - order a takeaway

MN: My husband has a super secret hobby that I can't possibly tell you about on here as it's very niche and if I let it slip it will identify us right away.

RL: He plays golf.

My MIL is a bit abrupt and doesn't do things the way I do them.

MN - could it be the start of dementia?

She's only 50!

MN - could it be the start of early dementia?

MNetters are obsessed with dementia being the clue to every little quirk in anyone over the age of 50.

I am very much enjoying this thread 😁

@pennysea - or goes cycling?

MN you need to ask permission to paint your side of the fence if you don’t own it, or to hang anything on it.

RL no one ever asks or gives a shit

MN my neighbour is always bollock naked at their window and my kids can see, it is fine, just don’t look you perv,

RL the neighbours the perv and if they don’t stop it I’ll call the police And it’s impossible to stop yourself looking, .

MN a random elderly man smiles at you. Shout at him to fuck off. Loudly. Then compete with fellow mumsnetters about just how rude you could be. Culminating in shouting fuck off cunty chops at him in Tesco.

RL smile politely back and move on.

MN door bell rings early evening, start a thread on mumsent about who it could be nd don’t answer it.

Rl, answer it and deal with it.

MN: LTB
RL: it is not that simple
MN: DH
RL: who on earth refers to their husband as darling husband

@Bluntness100......'fuck off cuntychops' .......pure LOL

MN: I feed a family of 5 on £17 a week. We only eat organic and have at least 7 portions of fruit and veg each day. I just don't understand how others struggle.

RL: £40 on a take away on a Saturday night and a £120 weekly supermarket shop.

MN - our teens eat everything in site, 4 big meals a day with seconds, 6 pints of milk each, large bowl of pasta and Cream cheese for supper.

RL - 3 normal meals a day (standard packed lunch) peanut butter and toast after school, bowl of 2 weetabix for supper.

A stranger is rude to you for absolutely no reason /turns up at your house to shout at you about a volunteer thing your dh does / squats in your shed

MN - Maybe their dog died/ mental health issues I would have invited them for dinner / given them my house and the fact you didn’t jeans you are an unreasonable meanie

RL bad luck what a bloody nutter

I’m desperate struggling for food
MN: if you bulk buy it’s much cheaper, vegetables are cheap and great in stew
RL- awful isn’t it, can only walk to the local shop which is expensive and often buy junk food as I know kids will eat it - stew uses too much gas.

Lightheaded
DM gave DS coke when she was minding him
MN I couldn’t trust her again. go no contact.
RL yeah bit annoying, but he’ll drink it at some point, just have a word

MN "What's for dinner?"

Mint and yoghurt marinaded lamb on a bed of wild rice with chargrilled vegetables, and home made lychee granita to follow.

RL: Spaghetti Bolognese. Usually no pudding but maybe a magnum out of the freezer occasionally for a massive treat.

MN: I eat three grains of cereal for breakfast, a green salad for lunch and splurge on half a chicken breast with steamed veg for dinner. Anyone who eats differently is overeating.

RL: I had pizza for dinner followed by half a tub of ice cream and washed it down with 6 litres of full sugar coke.

Christmas. How much do you spend on your child?

MN: No more than £15. Some craft sets and some lovely books from the charity shop.

RL: At least £300 per child and still panic buying on Christmas Eve because one pile looks smaller than the other.

Mn - I rarely drink alcohol

RL - how early is too early to open a bottle of wine

@WorraLiberty

Cheer up Eeyore 
Oiii!! Leave Eeyore alone - he's lovely - just misunderstood! 🤣🤣