MN vs real life

[GlummyMcGlummerson]

Can we have some (lighthearted) comparisons about what MN is like compared to real life. I'll start

MN: a roast chicken last for 14 days for a family of 5
RL: a chicken is cooked and the carcass is disposed of. At a push, the meat is taken off the bones for soup

MN: Parent and child spaces should only be used for randoms with invisible leg problems. Even if you have 5 children you should park in a normal space and not be so entitled as to think P&C spaces are for you
RL: Parents Park in P&C places and get annoyed when people without kids park in them

MN: Everybody wants a low key wedding with 6 people in the local cafe and the bride wants to wear a nightie she bought for 80p from the Scope shop
RL: most people have a lovely wedding in the region of £20k with a dress bought from a wedding boutique

MN...DH has a niche job

RL DH works a job that nobody else wants.

MN : wedding evening only invitations are the height of rudeness.

RL : it’s fine.

@Destroyedpeople

MN.My son is bright and quirky and in all the top sets at his grammar school and is applying to read medicine. RL. my son is operating a stolen rickshaw up and down the South Bank.

Best comment ever

@Destroyedpeople

MN.My son is bright and quirky and in all the top sets at his grammar school and is applying to read medicine. RL. my son is operating a stolen rickshaw up and down the South Bank.

Best comment ever

£20k!! faints

MN: children all love curry, olives and kale and can’t understand how it’s possible to have less than 10-a-day of unique fruits and veg

RL: peas, sweetcorn, bananas on rotation

MN: dh has a unspecific hobby.
RL: dh cycles.

MN - dogs are bought after several years researching breeds, attending Crufts, adapting the whole house in preparation for a puppy.

RL - respond to an ad on pets at home

MN: “DH didn’t take the bins out” - “Get your ducks in a row, prepare to leave, this is abuse”
RL: “yup, my DH is also a lazy arse, but he did bring me a bacon sandwich in bed, so it evens itself out in the end”

Mn Everyone has lovely swishy hair, great skin , can put minimal make up on and look in their young 20s, and wears Boden on a daily basis.
RL - Gets up in the morning with birds near hair which doesn't improve throughout the day, can't be arsesd to put on make up and is wearing paint splattered joggers and an old t shirt that has bleach stains on One of them describes me today

MN: nobody answes the front door unless the bell is ringing by an arrangement prebooked at least a month in advance and usually confirmed in writing
RL: Doorbell rings. Someone answers it.

MN: it's normal for immediate family to wait several weeks before meeting a new baby
RL: closest friends and family meet baby and check in on parents as soon as viably possible

MN:no one stays in a holiday cottage (etc) without deep cleaning it before leaving and taking photos as evidence
RL: spend a couple of hours making it decent

MN: changes towels and bedding at least once a week
RL: when you remember

I'minaglasscaseofemotion ah! But remember despite being on 100k, they are still very poor...

My one:

MN: screentime is the devil. If you give your child more than five minutes screentime on a saturday morning you are a terrible parent and your child qill grow up to be a totally stunted in everyway person.

RL: crap i need a shower/do housework. Stick three year old in front of tv

several years researching breeds
It's only on MN that googling something for a few minutes is "researching" 😂

MN: During lockdown we are spending time rediscovering board games and jigsaw puzzles as a family as well as going out for long walks to get our exercise.
RL: Everybody is on the playstation/mobile phones all day and ignoring each other. Exercise is a trip down the middle lane at Lidl.

MN: everything is everyone's business, so much they feel the nee to comment that the chicken tripe is old ha
RL: if the conversation doesn't interest you, carry in as you were.

Chicken trope.

@SecretSpAD

several years researching breeds It's only on MN that googling something for a few minutes is "researching" 😂

I dunno... have you met anti-vaxxers?

MN: I can’t decide wether to sack my cleaner as she didn’t turn up at the pre-arranged time.

RL: oh fuck the baths starting to turn green. Ah it will do another day.

MN: DC gets a B. Oh no, a tutor must be found immediately!

RL: DC gets a B. Hey, not bad!

MN: DC has been polishing Oxbridge application CV since Y7 and can't get enough of Khan Academy.

RL: DC is mouldering in bedroom, doing as little as possible.

MN: Had a childhood different to how you'd bring up a child? You need to go NC with your vile abusive parents.

RL: No-one's perfect, we're all just winging it and hoping for the best.

I am absolutely certain that we're all going to be utterly bewildered when our kids accuse us of the same things we accuse our parents of 😂

Most people like dogs and don't feel terrorised and resentful of them and their owners if they come within three metres.

People are way kinder and don't immediately try to find a way to blame you if there's any kind of discord or difficulty in your life.

All the parents I know don't suddenly decide their kids are adults at age 16 and need to suck up their new adult life with no parental assistance.

I'm sure there's more...

MN: sugar is a poison.
RL: pass the biscuits.

MN: in times of financial hardship, you must check your Boots and Nectar cards as they may have enough for a month's supply of nappies, formula and food.

RL: if mine has a pound, I use it immediately.

@Thedevilofsmallthings

MN: dh has a unspecific hobby. RL: dh cycles.

In a similar vein - only on MN do people think golf is such a niche and unusual hobby that mentioning it might be outing.

MN: LTB

RL: it's not always that simple really is it.