Badly explain your job

[Greenandcabbagelooking]

Because I think we all need a laugh at the moment! Inspired by a Twitter hashtag, explain your job (or an old one) and guess what other posters’ jobs were.

I use dangerous chemicals and fire around children.

I mend holes in walls to protect communities, and hang out in police stations in the rain.

I argue over legal interpretation and values. Stare at buildings a lot.

lissie123 ratings or rent review surveyor?

People want money they go to a dealer and a few days later the money arrives

(Can't think of any other way to describe it!)

I contribute to destroying trees and encourage children to be antisocial.

Sunshine, do you publish children's books?

Yes @jcurve- rent review surveyor 😊

I get paid to disagree with one side of an argument or the other.

I tell a man who is paid 10x my salary what to do all day 😂

I convinced people to pay £20,000 for the worst year of their life.

I stand beside the track as big metal buses with no tyres go past

DH tells people where to go and what to do when they get there

I take children away from their homes and make them sleep in the woods and play around with fire

amused very curious by yours!

Amused - uni or boarding school recruitment? Or some kind of year out abroad in v challenging conditions kinda thing?

Bellini - lawyer?

I used to Talk to people all day about dead people. Then I moved on to talk to people about using the loo and washing their hair

I am to inspect bodily orifices and cause pregnancies.

Amused, something to do with teacher training?

@MajesticWhine - nope!

I spend other people's money on things I don't want.

@Weenurse yes, medical librarian.

Currently redeployed ~ now I have to help people put on funny clothes, and then give them labels so they know who they are.

@ The2Ateam Important people fuck things up and I try to limit the damage
Civil Servant?

@SharonMitchell Head Teacher?

I tell people about the problems other people are having and make it very clear that the answer to their problems is held by us - using numbers is important here as it sounds impressive and also having an idea they might not have heard of you cos if you explain it you sound knowledgeable - so that they send lots of money.

I then have to tell them what happened but that is the boring bit and I usually just make that up (just kidding).

MN classics!