Badly explain your job

[Greenandcabbagelooking]

Because I think we all need a laugh at the moment! Inspired by a Twitter hashtag, explain your job (or an old one) and guess what other posters’ jobs were.

I use dangerous chemicals and fire around children.

@Historydweeb vicar?

@shazkevincarrotlover dentist?

I wander about in a large locked area, being nice to people who say strange or sometimes incomprehensible things. I am constantly prepared to shoot an arm out and say 'oh nooo no no, dont hurt anyone' or to usher someone away.

CandyLeBonBon very close
Im a maxillofacial dental nurse

@worstofbothworlds I'm a photographer

I'm assuming @Historydweeb is a historian...

Benign dictator to small people.

Teacher?

I tell my boss what to do all day.

@something2say a mental health practitioner?

Overtherainbow2020 Childminder/Nursery worker?

something2say Boxing referee?

Lol yes I work in a low secure MH ward. I love it.

I help people count

@MsInsomniac
"I fill in endless forms about what naughty men have done and fortune tell about what they likely to do in the future, with specifics as to where when what and to who. I then write down what will stop them doing it and establish I don’t have hardly any resources for providing the things that stop it. Then everyone’s backs are covered and it’s not entirely pointless at all" =

Probation service?
Prison service?

@ivfbabymomma1 Maths teacher? Accountancy tutor? Census admin?

I aim pieces of metal at things or people making sound. I then press some buttons and capture the results.

Wauden - yes, probation officer

Lonelycrab - sound engineer?

@CandyLeBonBon yes. I think should have been more cryptic

I boss everyone around and make it seem like it was their idea.

Yes, teacher! I’ve even used that description to the year 6 children when they wanted to change the maths curriculum! Sorry guys, you don’t get a vote on that one.

@worstbitsofbothworlds yep accountancy 🤣🤣

I spend most of my time:
-writing down stuff I'm told to by people who know more than me
-signing stuff I'm told to by other people who know more than me but aren't allowed to sign it themselves
-attempting to relay stuff I don't fully understand to people who definitely don't understand
-filling in multiple forms that nobody reads, often containing the same information as each other
-fighting with useless IT systems and worse IT equipment
-dispensing advice that is absolutely going to be ignored
-being asked questions I don't know how to answer
-being asked questions I do know how to answer but am not allowed to.

Occasionally I also listen to people's chests and attempt to look like I am drawing meaningful conclusions from what I can hear.

I don't know but it sounds like a terrible job!