Badly explain your job

[Greenandcabbagelooking]

Because I think we all need a laugh at the moment! Inspired by a Twitter hashtag, explain your job (or an old one) and guess what other posters’ jobs were.

I use dangerous chemicals and fire around children.

@aliasname
You dress medics in hazmat suits and put pictures of them on the suits?

@DoTheNextRightThing Executive Personal Assistant?

I used to check for dirty bottoms.

An activity and not a job though some people do it as a job.
I drag something along the road to another place and then take it out of the large box it was in, assemble it with 3 other people and then get it to be dragged along the ground by a powerful machine, then 3 other people would help me take it apart and put it back in the box so I could drag it along the road back to where it came from.

I repeatedly sing random series of notes, and other people copy me.

My friend pretends to be someone pretending to do something they can't.

@Sarahlou63
I watch people get emotional with animals
Vet? 🐀

@BikeRunSki
I mend holes in walls to protect communities, and hang out in police stations in the rain.
Something to do with mending leaking dams? Then you check drainage? Water engineer? 🚿☔

I make rules. I check that other people follow the rules and if they don't do it right I might change the rules.

I might still change the rules even if they do it right too!

I keep a ladder and a crow bar in my car, look round peoples houses and tell other people what’s wrong with those houses.

@fascinated

Ding ding ding!

Postgraduate recruitment and admissions

@Wauden - hey! Good guess! I am a flood risk management engineer. I work fir the Environment Agency. When there is a big flood incident on, I am the liaison between the Environment Agency and emergency services.

I explain how to do something over and over again in lots of different ways for it finally to be understood at going home time only to be forgotten again the next day, I try and answer really random questions everyday, listen to people complain someone is being mean to them

jmh740

I think you do the same as me!

My job primarily involves me being a thick, lazy part timer who dislikes and doesn't understand children

I make small children do things they (mostly) don't want to do and then tell them how they could have done it better. I ask hundreds of questions a day.

I babysit drug addicts

Talcott - are you an MP/MSP/Welsh equilivent?

@EskSmith teacher/tutor?

Lately surprise people that they won’t get money or get shouted at because I can’t help them get it.

I write really long, boring, mostly madeup bullshit stories that no one will even read. If people do read them, they'll tell me they're shit.

@WheresTheEvidence
I kiss and cuddle my clients whilst wearing funny clothes=
Do you work in Battersea Dogs Home? 🐶🐕🐩🐱🐈

I look for people to join and thereafter they will treat my every word and action with suspicion unless they want something.

I give drugs to people of all ages kids included

@dyscalculicgal96 I'll give you that; TA!