Can’t afford to keep my children

[Tobl20]

Just wondering if anyone else who shares custody of their children with an ex partner has found a solution to this dilemma of only one parent being able to claim benefits for the kids. I share custody of my children and my ex partner claims child benefit and tax credit for both kids. This has been the case for the last 2 years since we split and he is still living in our house and refuses to sell. When the kids are with me we all live in my parents spare bedroom and share a double bed. It’s very cramped and there is no room for all their clothes and toys etc and my parents are selling the house so I need to find somewhere for me and the kids this year but cannot afford anywhere. I only earn 550 a month from working part time since September as my youngest has started full time school. But it is still not enough to live on when trying to see what kind of housing I can afford. I only qualify for a one bedroom property from the council as I am classed as a single adult with no children. I will also need to budget for utilities which I’m not paying atm as my parents pay all bills and don’t charge me any rent as they know I can’t afford it. They are supportive and won’t sell the house until I’m able to move out but I feel bad as they aren’t wealthy and both still work full time and have a mortgage to pay. They help with costs for the kids too such as food school uniforms etc. But my problem is I can get no financial support at all and may be forced to give up custody of my kids to their dad.

I did apologise that I meant to write I was sectioned after being ill for the best part of two years. Not that I was in hospital for two years. I think I was in hospital around 4 weeks. That is how long a section lasts if I remember rightly. But I was sectioned twice. Once in June and once in November 2017. So 8 weeks altogether. But the kids couldn’t stay with their dad as he was too busy and he can’t change nappies so couldn’t have my son for more than a couple of hours alone. My mum and family took care of my two and the eldest between them.
It didn’t matter anyway as I said before, the court wasn’t interested in hearing tit for tat off either of us. It wasn’t interested in my mental health history from him, and it wasn’t interested in him not ever looking after the kids before. Literally just wanted us to come up with an order ASAP and get out.

@Changeembrace
We had a joint account at the time so everything went into that account and was paid. But it was only a few weeks altogether. My benefits and his wages.

Then when we split up I was allowed to change next of kin to someone else so I changed it to my mum and then she applied to have me discharged and I came home. I’ve not been in hospital since we split up though.

Why is he smacking the children? He's abusing the kids aswell as you op. You need to fight him with everything you've got. Ask for help, follow the advice you've got from this thread. Don't give up.

He’s got a temper. He can just snap sometimes. He is allowed to smack as it’s still legal here. Hopefully they will make it law soon and I’ll be able to stop him then although Im not sure how I would know if he didn’t stop.

Don't give a shiny shite if it's legal or not, if someone hit my child I'd be fighting to have them taken out of that person's care! I know it's so easy to sit here and say it when you're not actually in the situation. I just feel like you need to get your anger and use it, he will be damaging your children just like he did with you.

I know. People say to me , just take the kids, don’t let him have them if he can’t control his anger etc. But the law prevents people from protecting their kids. We all hear the horror stories of children being killed by their fathers to pumish the mothers. Or vice versus. (Not that he would ever do that).
If he ever left a mark or bruise on them I would contact social services straight away, but otherwise he’s legally allowed to hit them as “discipline”.