Mumsnet thread responses for any occasion.

[Mysterian]

I'm a busy guy. I've got stuff to do, people to see and small animals to feed. (Metaphorical small animals, not real ones). What are some responses I can post on any thread without having to do all that crappy and time consuming reading the thread business?

Teacher here...

"DH says"

Oh well that settles it then

What is his hobby then?

I’m perfect and rich, you’re all rubbish and far poorer than I.

(Most of the responses I’ve been reading recently)

Just spat my coffee out

Or even more likely -

I am university educated (oxbridge of course)

How old are you?

We need to see a photograph to answer this one.

Phone 111 and check with them.

You'll get flamed for this OP.

I'm not a doctor myself but (insert medical advice).

Why haven't you gone NC with these people yet?!

It's cycling isn't it?

And we still need a diagram op.

Why are you posting you should be straight at A&E?!

He/she sounds like a narcissist.

Keep your beak out

You sound vile OP

Just put the baby down ffs, there was none of this in my day. Slept right through from day 1.

.

Just block and delete.

Your house, your rules

Man posts, female partner sounds dreadful.

"well I'd like to hear her side of the story"

Because women are always in the right.

Read about the fourth trimester.

Handhold, my lovely.

My DH earns six figures and does his share of housework and childcare.

You sound mean

Just make a massive pot of chilli and a huge salad.

Grim.

You sound like hard work.

Be kind to yourself OP