Mumsnet thread responses for any occasion.

[Mysterian]

I'm a busy guy. I've got stuff to do, people to see and small animals to feed. (Metaphorical small animals, not real ones). What are some responses I can post on any thread without having to do all that crappy and time consuming reading the thread business?

Do the Freedom Programme.

Call the police.

Woman: husband ate some of my chips after saying he wasn't hungry
MN: has he always been this controlling?

Man: wife slept with my dad, stole my money, killed our cat and put our kids on eBay
MN: have you always been this controlling?

Get some 'picky bits' from
M&S.

It costs nothing to be kind. Ask them round for a cup of tea and a creme egg.

I just woke the DC up laughing at that.

Take a deep breath, and make yourself a cup of hot sweet tea.

I'd do it in a heartbeat.

Can't be arsed to actually read the replies so I'll just type out something that 75 posters have already said and pretend I am the first one to have thought of it.

Cancel the cheque.

Talk to your HR department.

I know you don't have one, but do it anyway, just do it OK (every MN employer must have an HR department).

Maybe she has autism or a mental health condition.

I've just sprayed tea and gin all over my keyboard OP!

I grew up in a sink estate

placemarking