I would like to help you, don't be afraid

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I'm a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I'm unfettered by either knowledge or training. Please step inside my friendly advice clinic staffed with a team of kindly agony aunts.

Indiana, she could become queen of England, if all those in line to the throne before her, somehow met with unfortunate ends. I think we could help here. Oi, Thisters, there may be some slaughterin' to be done.

Also tell her that Megalomaniacs get all their best ideas from dreams.

Indiana I suggest leader of thighland. Once thigh has abdicated that is.

Dog she would need to be genetically modified to fit into the line.

My DD has created an imaginary friend called Fred. We go on holiday this weekend and she's currently asking if we can take random items (apparently he likes cheese, Frisbees and lightbulbs) under the impression that Fred wants them. How do I make Fred disappear before dd drives me crazy?

Ps: did I mention DD is nearly 20 fgs

After watching Bohemian Rhapsody recently, I have developed an unholy and unlikely crush on Rami Malek. You could cut glass on his achingly beautiful jawline, yet physically he is far from my usual type (large, tall, brawny and hairy).

My ovaries clench more with every YouTube compilation I watch, what will become of me?

lido I just think if noway abandons her children she'll never have the material to write a sequel. People love sequels about things. Look at Harry Potter.

noway keep at it. You could ask the publisher to pay you in gin.

Dino tell her that Fred has died.

Hilda eventually your clenching ovaries will cause you to turn inside out. Can I interest you in organ donation?

I’m sitting on the sofa and exhausted. I know I’ll be ok once I get to bed, but the sheer effort to get up, tidy the dishes and change is too much. Unfortunately the sofa isn’t comfortable enough to sleep on. Help!

Caroline have you had HP? It's just the same book several times. No need for extra material.

Have you seen read HP. Obviously you haven't had him. Right?

Have you read HP. Obviously you haven't had him. Right?

dino tell her he is dancing with foxes....or sleeping with the fishes.

dunno where the seen came from

Dino I have a ds called Fred. Really I do. If this can find him, you can borrow him. Also please tell him his mother is awaiting gin :)

lido No, never read HP. Now I won't!

What wine pairs best with 2 children fighting?? Asking for a friend

Hmm. Killing spree. I’ll just finish this pint of gin then sign up for a 30 day free trial of Ancestry.com to figure out the numbers involved.

Although, as her mother, wouldn’t I need to kill myself for her to be queen? On second thoughts, seems a bit drastic.

sing leave the dishes "soaking". This is what men do.

Philosykoss the one with the highest alcohol content, of course. Try a pint of absinthe if unsure.

Philo I'd go for something almost fortifies, perhaps Amarone.

But first trick the children into going outside and bolt the door.

Sing roll to the bedroom. Tomorrow you can invest in some paper plates and plastic cutlery.

Well, i clearly hadn't thought through all the tiny details, i just got carried away by the thought of all the slaughterin'
I still think the idea could be worked somehow.

Thank you! I have set my alarm for 4am and am on my second pint of G&T.