I would like to help you, don't be afraid

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I'm a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I'm unfettered by either knowledge or training. Please step inside my friendly advice clinic staffed with a team of kindly agony aunts.

DT everyone can do a thlimerick, even you with your gin soaked brain. Here I'll start you off:

There was once a bearded auld bag
Who was a filthy and terrible slag

She whored through the night
T'was a terrible sight

And the punters have never been back!

No you mentioned my possible abdication rather jauntily i see

Is there something you'd like to discuss, hmm? A complaint possibly? Don't be afraid, come closer .

Did you get my card. I've been Thinking of You.

That was lovely, hauntingly beautiful. You have a gift.

Oh thank you thigh your thraining brought out the best in me!

Like in 'My Thair Lady'

We're going to have to develop a new walk to acknowledge possible thisters in the street. The Masons have a funny handshake. The Turners do too, but they have that genetic problem.

We should walk proffering the Inner Thigh of both thighs at the same time. Also we will need to raise the slanket both front and back to proffer the Thigh and to achieve maximum arse coolage.

If someone could read my mind and do a art of the new walk that would probably be best. Reginald will then need to create an entire series of stop start animation and make a training video. It's important work, we must be a more cohesive army.

Sometimes I fear that my megalomania is waning. That I'm becoming kindly, gentle. I disgust myself in those moments and weep with rage and Hunger.

Did you know Stalin was a failed stand up comedian? He got increasingly despondent at the lack of audience participation and look at the result, 60 million dead. Just saying.

Inter war Russians were a tough crowd though, dour.

Can I join the thread if I promise not to visit anyone? Or I could make everyone's hedge into a cock and that would identify everyone as you suggested?

Don't get all tired and upset thigh you need another breakfast, then you'll be right.

So to make sure I'm getting the right imagery of the Thighland walk:

We proffer both inner thighs at once like a kind of plie squat and bear both our arse and front bottom at the same time which also serves as a temperature control thermastat device?

Ok, until I get the training vid from Reg I'll practice on my own for a bit.

wax your already a thister so your in the thread by default, thilly!

Do the new walk with me!

I was just having a go in the kitchen actually dangly

I wrote 'your' instead of 'you're' ! I do that a lot in Thighland! No wonder people thought I was pineapple !

I mean the pineapple I wasn't, not the one that I was of course!

This one!! 🍍

Where's @Gettingnowhere ? She needs to practice the walk as well!

Getting I'm sorry I thought you were the pineapple, please come back!

wax you've been with us since last thread so are a thister anyway. There'll be no ceremony to attend, we attend nothing.

While we're all 'doing the walk', if we do pass a fellow thister also 'doing the walk', we don't have to stop and chat or anything, do we? That's all a bit too much like visiting.

My gift

I recently moved house. I'm still surrounded by many (many!) boxes. Would it be wrong of me to just buy more socks and knickers and give all the boxes unopened to the local charity shop...?

Dog of course not, that would be therrible. We're a collective of misanthropes after all. What would be the greeting, a vacant look? Too much?

Mrs are you married? This is your excuse to LTB, just walk away and live in a hotel, a good one, possibly in the Mountain Kingdom of Bhutan. Haven't you given enough of yourself?

MrsM don't bother with socks and pants, a slanket is all you need. I'm not wearing anything under mine, it makes the Thister greeting more authentic when you 'raise the flaps'.

DT turn thighs outwards and feet at quarter to three then walk. At each female, advance and attempt the Inner Thigh to Inner Thigh move.

Thigh, thank you for your gift.
I must say i started to believe you were EVERYONE at the start of this thread, as you prophesied with such accuracy when the agony aunts DT and ThisL would arrive.