If mumsnet was a diagram (lighthearted)

[BobbyGentry]

Sooooo... in my ‘if Mumsnet was a diagram’ (taking only a few minutes to draw and even less time to think about.)

There’d be a parking war between Morison’s, Ocado & Sainsbury’s delivery vans on LTB Street.

There’d be a quiet, warm and inviting 24hrs bookshop, 24hrs Costa Coffee for a lively chat and a really elaborate wedding shop.

The radical exclusionary feminists, across the road at number 10, wouldn’t be willing to share the toilet with EricA yet again so they’d all be kicking off.

A prep school for children aged 3 + (put you name down at birth or attend the local comp with better results.)

How about you?

Lots I’ve probably forgotten but first things that sprang to mind.

((((Hope to make you smile))))

Perhaps I missed it but I'm hoping the local cafe has a special grandparents morning where the PILs can all swap notes on how to make the most of their roles.

There's another memorial plaque now, dedicated to @BobbyGentry for selflessly giving their life in order that the vipers be entertained. This deserves a posthumous YABVVR award

(Hi, this is Bobby Gentry the Younger writing briefly to thank you for such kind messages. They really are not necessary at all. As you have been so nice, and I’m really sure she really wouldn’t have minded but I managed to prise away this small fragment of notepaper from her poor, wee, and rapidly cooling deaded hand @BedsideCabinetIsNotAvailable and amazingly it does appear, as you rightly say, to be a spider 🕷 doing unsightly things to a freshly laundered shirt in the dark (shudders trigger warning.)

darked on laundered shirt @BBInGinDrinking

Ooh a live death on Mumsnet, RIP @BobbyGentry. Shall I set up a JustGiving page for funeral costs or just ask posters to PayPal me money directly?

One for performance parents where the menu is in 3 different languages and you get a free babycinno if your under 7 can guess the obscure viola concerto mood music. There'll be a display where you can write your child's name and the holiday destination of choice with a suitably educational anecdote to prove how wonderful you are. You beat me to it. I thought we could have a little theatre where people could do performance parenting on stage and a workshop for people who are too shy and retiring in their public interactions with their DC

OMG, I can't believe that we have forgotten... (drum roll)...

IKEA

Does the deadedness make this a Zombie Thread?

Let's not forget, oh dear departed deaded OP, a trebuchet pointing in the direction of MNVille MNHQ towers. Whenever they make any decisions, we can fire off our murmurs of approval or howls of indignation at them, tied to bricks made by villagers.

How far away is the village of Nethuns? Maybe it could be signposted so we know not to venture that direction!

Bobby Gentry the Younger sittin’ here apoplectic in, seethin’ with rage, crying tears out of my nose, literally sobbin’ heaves of shakin’ ‘cause Bobby Gentry the Elder bequeathed you all her MN silver-plated Bingo set in her will which she knew how much I loved and had my heart set on. Also, HR have been in and stabbed her deaded body a few more times for good measure, understandably, for still not getting any work done. (off to get suited & botted with the sh*t hot lawyer, EricA)

Calm down, Dear. All you need is a sweet milky cup of Yorkshire tea and a spa day.

I believe in ghosts and @BobbyGentry said the planning application for the soft play centre needs revision to include sections for under and over 3years old, within 48 hrs of DV and chicken pox incubation. I've PMd the Mayor

Her heart will go on.

Her art will go on.

Bobby Gentry the Younger
Pop into solicitors for free half hour of advice. Your Human rights are bring breached by witnessing the multiple stabbing of BG the elder. I’m sure you can claim millions for pain and suffering.

Where is Chuggers Square?

And where is the rubbish dump - that will be excavated in 1,000 years' time leaving the poor archaeologists scratching their heads over piles of unused toilet brushes, a million odd socks and acres of tangled loom bands and floppy JoJo bows?