If mumsnet was a diagram (lighthearted)

[BobbyGentry]

Sooooo... in my ‘if Mumsnet was a diagram’ (taking only a few minutes to draw and even less time to think about.)

There’d be a parking war between Morison’s, Ocado & Sainsbury’s delivery vans on LTB Street.

There’d be a quiet, warm and inviting 24hrs bookshop, 24hrs Costa Coffee for a lively chat and a really elaborate wedding shop.

The radical exclusionary feminists, across the road at number 10, wouldn’t be willing to share the toilet with EricA yet again so they’d all be kicking off.

A prep school for children aged 3 + (put you name down at birth or attend the local comp with better results.)

How about you?

Lots I’ve probably forgotten but first things that sprang to mind.

((((Hope to make you smile))))

Does the bakery have a problem with cake punching?

@BreakfastAtSquiffanys trip, trap, trip, trap troll bridge can be seen with your National Trust card; would I be a CF if I asked to borrow it?

@CottonTailRabbit all the bl**dy time

@treaclesoda 😀 yay

There’s definitely a massive University that everyone is required to attend. They will shag future famous people and learn the value of critical thing and free speech.
Interestingly it will be right next to “ Leavers Getto” the rough bit. With it’s albeit smaller than reported number of uneducated racist and just plain stupid tenants.

There must be an underground preppers bunker filled with canned goods and UHT milk.

@Corneliusmurphy ye olde coin telephone boxes are found round the corner at A&E (minimum 60p - Who has 60p in coins? 😏)

@LadyMonicaBaddingham protecting the A&E from road ramming

@Corneliusmurphy Christmas Decs left up 365 days in AIBU’s place, all seems really reasonable to me 🎅 🎄

🤣 (((off to do somethin’ productive now, thanks for making me smile)))

Has the builder done a massive shit in someone's toilet yet? And if so, does the poo troll know?

You need a pond with a row of ducks OP.

What day do the bins get put out? And is there a CF NDN who polices bins/parking/boundary disputes?

In which house does the childminder live with the massive dog?

You cant go now BobbyGentry Mumsnetville is just getting started.

Have I ever experienced this>No--> It cant have happened.

My mumsnet venn diagram.

ocado and morrisons are the same van in different wrapping, meaning they're in on it together lol

Are all the delivery vans stuck because all the drivers need a poo and no mnetter will let them sully their pristine loo?

Is that a sofa I see in someone's front garden? With a CF sitting on it smoking weed and drinking Tennant's Extra? Where's the phone box to log it with 101?

well, I read the title as

If mn was a diaphragm, which says it all really!

Can't believe you forgot the naughty corner for all the MIL's

Where might I ask is the Zoflora shop?

It needs plenty of hedges for people to have sex in.

Also...a big EXIT gate for flouncers...with seating and spotlighting so that we can all applaud them as they go

There’s definitely a massive University that everyone is required to attend.

I sincerely hope that's Russell Group university. Or at the very least a red brick university.

There absolutely has to be a HR department.

And scaffolding.

And a large tree that needs to be cut down and have a TPO put on it at the same time.

And a branch of Greggs Lush.

And a spa for everyone to have a spa day when they're having a shit time in life. Apparently it cures everything.

The butchers sells those magical chickens that feed a family of 4 for a week.

There has a be a second school, slightly further away, where the only subject taught is grammar pedantry for 12 hours a day.

And Not So Posh street, which only accepts deliveries from Asda trucks.