What is the craziest rumour you’ve heard about yourself.

[Kissel]

I saw this on Buzzfeed and thought it was interesting. What is the craziest/funniest rumour you have heard about yourself?
I once heard I was a gogo dancer (I was in high school at the time) and my students once spread a rumour I had ran away to Prague.

I heard the rumour going round at my sons wedding was that I was a raging alcoholic. Apparently.
That's the funniest thing ever because I don't drink at all!

It was a bit annoying though as I was getting funny looks from people I didn't know all day/evening, before the rumour reached me.

That I was going to join the Conservatives.

That I was shagging my cousin 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢

That I was dead!
A rather loopy relative kept bringing it up casually in conversations “...but she’s dead now”.
I had to phone and reassure her I was still very much alive!

That I had won a few million on the lottery.

The people I rented a room from for 2 years thought I was a devout evangelical Christian for one of those years. As did some of their friends. I am very very atheist and quite a long way from straight up.

I'd had a baby.

I'd been seen pushing my baby brother around during the school holidays

That I gave 2 blokes a BJ in a toilet. I'd never even met them, ever.

@WTFIsAGleepglorp I had similar! I was 16 and pushing a family friends baby in a pushchair... literally within half an hour the rumour had gone through about 5 people and got back to my mum... who put them straight!

Oh and this is recent. My ex-MIL thinks I'm having an affair with her ex-h. He lives in a different country and i haven't see him for 15 years.

I was told in year 8 that there was a rumour going around I was on hormone tablets and that’s why my boobs were so big. I was like, I’m 13, my body is making those hormones all on its own! On the whole I was not someone who people tended to remember if I wasn’t actually stood in front of them, so secretly I was quite chuffed about it.

On the bus home from school (which was also public service bus)and people from our village talking about me being pregnant and how sad it was and how awful for my parents
I was 14, still a virgin and on my period at the time

That I was having an affair with my boss.
To be fair, I think (hope!) it was only my one colleague that thought this.
She told me much later, once we'd become good friends, that when she first started working with me that she assumed that he and I were shagging because I didn't put up with any crap from him and told him off when he was rude to junior staff.

That I was in the IRA. I was pretty upset about that actually.

Two single neighbours who had been seeing eachother had fallen out. I was still living at home.

In order to make her jealous the male neighbour had told his girlfriend that he was going on a date with me I was approached by his girlfriend and I set the record straight but I couldn’t believe the cheeky bastard had involved me in all of the drama!

Luckily she believed me but it could have turned out pretty dire if she hadn’t.

Arsehole!

I still get annoyed about it now, even though I don’t even live in the same area these days. Other neighbours had believed the spiel!

I'd been shot !!

That I’d slept with one of my husband’s (then boyfriend) best friends before we’d got back together (separated for a few years).

I’ve only slept with my husband. He was upset by this rumour for ages.

I did become close to this friend at one point but no where near to sleeping together.

This rumour actually came from the friend.

I’ve never slept with him. He did however sleep with my sister!

That my father was terminally ill.
Ok he'd had a few operations but he was going to get better.

That one was true unfortunately, just i didn't know.

That I was pregnant to a colleague. This all started because he gave me a quick lift up to the doctors in our lunch break so I could have my flu jab. Work had swapped my days off at the last minute and it clashed with my prebooked appt!

@Ems When I was pregnant my students considered every name member of staff even vaguely in my orbit as a a potential baby daddy.

That I was having an affair with a school mum's husband. I'm a single parent. From this started other rumours and gossip. Now all the married mums view me with suspicion, and some of the men stare at me. Very unpleasant so I spend as little time there as possible.
When I was 15, my periods stopped as a result of anorexia, I was delighted, but my own mother started telling people that it was because I was pregnant and sleeping around. Later when I recovered, and my boobs grew, she told my sister that my boobs had grown because I was sleeping around.

Also. When I was a student I worked behind the bar in a local pub.. one day (which fortunately was my day off) a woman came storming in demanding to know where I was as apparently I was having an affair with her husband! I still have no idea who her husband was but apparently he used to come into the pub most nights and as I worked most night that meant we were having an affair. There were many blokes in there most nights, still don't know who this man I apparently having an affair with was, I was definitely not having an affair or any relationship with any of the customers!

@sizzledrizz that's awful that your mum told people that

I'm not known for suffering fools gladly. I had an annoying boss and I used to call him out for his nonsense. Literally everyone we worked with thought we were married - because we bickered like an old married couple!

That I was on heroin. I was in Year 9.