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Original poster

What is the craziest rumour you’ve heard about yourself.

186 replies

Kissel · 26/11/2018 23:03

I saw this on Buzzfeed and thought it was interesting. What is the craziest/funniest rumour you have heard about yourself?
I once heard I was a gogo dancer (I was in high school at the time) and my students once spread a rumour I had ran away to Prague.

OP posts:
Loolah · 27/11/2018 00:55

That I was having an affair with a colleague, and that we had sex in his car, on our break, on night shifts. His car was a 3 door Vauxhall Corsa. It's funny we are both on the large side so i can't imagine how that would of worked.

MadisonAvenue · 27/11/2018 00:59

That I was dead. There was an obituary for someone with the same name as me, or at least my name before I married, and I suddenly had loads of friend requests on Facebook from people I hadn't seen since school. A few people read the obituary and word spread. No idea why they thought I might respond to friend requests if I was dead.

LondonLassInTheCountry · 27/11/2018 00:59

That i was a prison officer Hmm

I was a nanny Grin

thighofrelief · 27/11/2018 01:00

Oh I'd forgotten this one. I was on holiday as an SP with my then 5 year old. I put him to bed and was having a drink and a read on my balcony when I heard people having loud sex in the grounds of the apartments near my balcony. Of course i prefer over but couldn't see a thing and just laughed to myself. Next time i went to the complex's bar i got a few jokey wah hey! Who were you shagging? I said it wasn't me. Someone said - it has to be you, you're the only single person. I shut up then. It wasn't me!

Armchairanarchist · 27/11/2018 01:04

We live in a small town I was 26 and in University (a tiny campus) when my younger brother died in an accident. I took some time out. A close friend owned a nightclub that had a small quiet upstairs bar. DH and the owner sat at the bar open mouthed while a fellow student told another student on my course I'd been sectioned! I'd love to have seen her face when DH confronted her.

thighofrelief · 27/11/2018 01:19

It's crazy isn't it? Sectioned, shot, IRA, shagging, pregnant. Imagine how slebs feel - they must read crazy shit about themselves all the time.

NopeNopeNopeNope · 27/11/2018 01:33

That I gave a Mormon missionary a BJ in my bathroom.... anyone who knows me..... really knows me, knows that I would never do such a thing. Some family are choosing to believe it fgs!

Armchairanarchist · 27/11/2018 01:37

Another one a few months later, baring in mind my mum had not long before lost a teenage son. Several months after DB passed away I had been seriously ill in hospital with pneumonia. It was during the school holidays and pre social media. I had turned a corner and was much better but still in hospital. My mum took my young son for his first day back at school. DS was only in reception. Mum went to speak to the class teacher to say I was in hospital. The teach responded by saying a parent had called her and told her I was seriously ill with cancer. My mum almost collapsed. She thought I'd been protecting her and that I must be dying of cancer. I have no idea who called the teacher but who the hell starts a rumour about cancer!

Choccywoccyhooha · 27/11/2018 02:08

That I was in a three-way relationship with two male colleagues. We were very good friends and spent a lot of time together, but none of us had ever so much as kissed. It wouldn't have been so bad if it had been a silly rumour made up by students, but it was our teaching colleagues who believed it and perpetuated the rumour!

NopeNopeNopeNope · 27/11/2018 02:13

That I was covering up my DM's affairs

thighofrelief · 27/11/2018 02:17

Oh my Mum today told me i had said I was moving to the Cotswolds. What I had actually said was that i was tired of heavy London traffic. I don't like the countryside and would never live there.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 27/11/2018 02:26

Not me but my DDad. At about the age of 10 he overheard in the supermarket that he had been adopted as a baby.

Turned out to be true. What a way to find out.

SadieContrary · 27/11/2018 02:31

That my baby was born by surrogate because I'd didn't announce the pregnancy or talk about my pregnancy on social media as well as not looking pregnant in any pics that were posted - fairly easy when I was only photographed from the chest up Grin

littlemeitslyn · 27/11/2018 04:50

Why is it always a 'raging ' alcoholic??

PepperSteaks · 27/11/2018 06:30

I remember there being a rumour at school that a boy had a long absense as he was having his leg amputated!

Rufusthebewilderedreindeer · 27/11/2018 08:03

That i was a very devout Christian

It seems to have lost me at least one potential friend...well , delayed it I suppose

Onescaredmuma · 27/11/2018 08:07

That I'd had breast implants... I was 14!!!!

Derrinbraun · 27/11/2018 08:14

Three different rumours that I am secretly lesbian - 2 of these started by lesbians. Confused Not that there is anything wrong with being lesbian but if someone has only dated men and is married to a man, why would you think that??

Oopsy41 · 27/11/2018 08:22

My relatuve told people I was a lesbian because I hadn't had a boyfriend in a couple of years. I'm not gay but when she asked, I answered her by telling her it was none of her business whether I was or wasn't so obviously that didn't help but I didn't like the disgusted way in which she said it

justforareply · 27/11/2018 08:27

That I was Facebook messaging someone else's partner 🙄
God knows where that came from
I spoke to him once on the friends phone about central heating (he had a flat like I was buying) other than just general chit chat in groups in the pub
So it was either him or her that made this up so I avoid contact with that group now. Bit sad as had some good nights with that group of friends

thighofrelief · 27/11/2018 08:32

Ah yes, the lesbian thing, forgot about that. My Dad keeps reassuring me that he would hate for one of his children to feel they couldn't come out to him. I'm 50 and not a lesbian.

StaffiesAndPonies · 27/11/2018 08:33

That I hated a friend of a friend because she was divorced. I had nothing against this person whatsoever, was always friendly to her when we met, and have no idea why anyone would think I’d give a shit about someone’s marital status!

vampirethriller · 27/11/2018 08:34

That I was in jail for breaking into a shop. I was actually in a women's refuge.
This week I've heard that my ex can't be the father of my baby (he is) because the dates don't work (they do) and the baby is the wrong colour (she isn't!)

BearSoFair · 27/11/2018 08:39

That DS1 wasn't DH's...crazy because it had been 3 years since I'd been involved with anyone else and most people around me knew that! Never found out who started it but it didn't get very far.

Mamabearx4 · 27/11/2018 08:42

Ive had serious rumours spread about me, life destroying ones. Those with a brain knew the truth. But sadly those who i thought were friends believed them or chose to, to make life hell. Happy to say though that i am away from it all now. But i can never forgive those that said it.