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Original poster

What is the craziest rumour you’ve heard about yourself.

186 replies

Kissel · 26/11/2018 23:03

I saw this on Buzzfeed and thought it was interesting. What is the craziest/funniest rumour you have heard about yourself?
I once heard I was a gogo dancer (I was in high school at the time) and my students once spread a rumour I had ran away to Prague.

OP posts:
Cakemonger · 27/11/2018 17:37

A rumour went around when I was in year 9 that I had run 100m in 10 seconds. This would have been an olympic record. I wasn't even very good at running. Still baffled by that one.

everybodypuuuuulllll · 27/11/2018 17:38

An annoyingly persistent rumour that my ex and I were undercover cops. (There were lots of drugs around back then, think a touch of paranoia in action!)

smiffy54 · 27/11/2018 17:58

That I was a stripper. Went for a night out a few weeks after a friends birthday party, when much to his horror his mates had booked him a stripper. Seems quite a few people thought it was me. I was not at the party, visiting parents 100 miles away on the night, and was 7 months pregnant at the time!

LuggsaysNotaWomen · 27/11/2018 18:00

I women I didn't know threatened to beat me up because I was shagging her husband.

I wasn't. We had sort of walked home together from a club but only because we had both been walking in a group and lived at the top of the same road, so split off and carried on walking and chatting for ten minutes.

Nothing happened and I didn't even know his name. As it turns out he was shagging her friend... the person who told her I was doinking him.

Cornflakedout · 27/11/2018 18:01

Not exactly a rumour about me per se but I heard that apparently the teachers at DS' school are concerned about the state of his jumper (little rip in cuff) and "would normally contact SS about these things..." But instead told a volunteer at the school who then told the grandmother of one of DS' classmates who then told my DH. I am still confused about the whole thingConfused

FissionChips · 27/11/2018 18:03

That I’m a crack addict- rumour started by my sister Hmm

JellieEllie · 27/11/2018 18:03

That I was a prostitute and was using my home as a brothel. Had a letter from the council and an investigation was opened.
Of course it wasn't true. Was my malicious ex who reported it.

Zoflorabore · 27/11/2018 18:10

My best friend! told everyone I was born in a taxi in Berlin when we were in year 7, it was bizarre actually and everyone believed her.

StrandedStarfish · 27/11/2018 18:14

Mistlewoe, I too was supposed to be a member of the IRA, and was supposed to have been killed. This was despite a) never having set foot in Ireland or b) having any friend, family, political or religious connection to either side of the argument.

Some school friends are still surprised when they see me at events and I’ve even been told I resemble a young woman, the person was at school with.....and I say ‘ BUT ITS ME!’

bumblebee39 · 27/11/2018 18:15

Lesbian.
Prostitute.
Alcoholic who drank daily (whilst pregnant and teetotal)
Having a lesbian love affair with my cleaner, another mum I knew, my best friend (basically every woman I spoke to)

AmandaBuffamonteezi · 27/11/2018 18:22

I once went to a wedding and during an after party in my hotel room convinced the best man, brides brother and one of the groomsmen to book flights to Poland and then we all just got a taxi to the airport and went. We had a wild time basically just spending the entire time we were there drinking. I spent the whole weekend in the dress I wore for the wedding and then came home and was hospitalised because I had pneumonia due to all the snow and me only wearing a dress.

I wish I was that adventurous! The after party in my hotel room is true but it wasn't just me and three men. Everything else is completely made up!

This came out when I introduced myself to someone at a party and he was like "Oh my god, I've heard some amazing stories about you!" I just laughed at all the other ones that were made up but the Poland story was my favourite. Unless it all happened but memory loss is a side effect of Polish alcohol and pneumonia?

SylvanianFrenemies · 27/11/2018 19:31

That I was shagging a colleague who was 25y older than me.

I was, and am, in a relationship. Even if I wasn't, just... no.

He's married.

He told me about the rumour and I burst out laughing. Tbh I'm pretty sure he was the source of the rumour.

rainbowlou · 27/11/2018 19:49

A horrible one as teenager, a guy kept pestering me for a drink/dance/kiss etc in a club.
He told anyone and everyone to stay away from me and that I was hiv positive and being the small gossipy town we lived in it was doing the rounds for ages.

mumonashoestring · 27/11/2018 19:51

That I was dangerously ill, in hospital with a brain tumour.

I wasn't, I was in Manchester with some drag queens.

FrustratedBeyond · 27/11/2018 20:22

Not that its a bad thing, but that I'm a police officer and quite a few people refuse to interact with me and openly blank me. I work for the Police but in an admin role, I have tattoos, piercings and a shaved head yet even when I tell people I'm not an officer, they dont listen! One woman shouted out in the playground 'Oh, Frustrated is a copper, she'll sort xx out!' Wtf I hate confrontation

WomanOfTime · 27/11/2018 20:25

That I was pregnant, aged 12, and took most of a year off school to have the baby and give it up for adoption.

Nope. Severe depression and school refusal. Although this rumour was how I discovered that our (Catholic) school's policy was that if you had an abortion, you could keep going to school, but having the baby meant you had to leave. Because despite what they taught us in RE classes, abortion was somehow perceived as less of a sin than being seen visibly pregnant in the school uniform. Hmm

BishopstonFaffing · 27/11/2018 20:30

That I had been widowed. A neighbour finally plucked up courage to come round and ask. Apparently they'd seen all these flowers being delivered and assumed DH had died. It was actually our first wedding anniversary.

Iwanttobreakfreefreefree · 27/11/2018 20:43

That I fake my seizures for attention
That I gave my ex an STI
That I used to unbutton the top buttons on my shirt to get extra tips when behind a bar (this was actually true Blush. Made a fortune

HashTagLil · 27/11/2018 20:51

That I worked on one of those telephone sex lines. I haven't.

ohhelpohnoitsa · 27/11/2018 21:06

I found out when I was mid 20s at a blood donor session, that I had a four year old daughter with my ex. Apparently EVERYONE knew I had this daughter after we split EXCEPT ME. I am mid 40s now, first child born late 30s. I still haven't met this (non existent) daughter I apparently gave birth to 20 years ago.......🙄🙄🙄

WoodpeckersAreWood · 27/11/2018 21:32

I narrowly avoided being beaten up by a gang led by a scary girl at school, and the same girl would blank me and/or give me evils.

Went on till she left the school. Never understood why.

Met her 15 years later turns out she heard that my dad was a taxi driver who had been driving the car that caused the crash that killed her dad.

My dad was not and Never had been a taxi driver. And had never been involved in a car crash, fatal or otherwise. No idea where that one came from.

HaulingFreight · 27/11/2018 21:45

That I was faking my pregnancy to copy a colleague who was pregnant (we also have been having a veryyyy long affair despite both being in long term relationships) all made up by the same someone. My 'fake' pregnancy has just turned 6 months old and is snoozing at the side of me Grin

HaulingFreight · 27/11/2018 21:45

Long term relationships with men I should add!

33goingon64 · 27/11/2018 21:52

That I was pg when I wasn't (work colleague misinterpreted a conversation and went round telling everyone). Got pg a week later!

SheCameFromGreeceSheHadaThirst · 27/11/2018 21:54

At a party, someone told me I was pregnant. They hadn't ever met me before, and told me the rumour along the lines of 'Did you know X's girlfriend is pregnant?'

Even when I pointed out that I was in fact X's girlfriend and I wasn't pregnant, they still insisted that they were right! Grin

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