Answers to songs.

[Goldenbug]

1. Are Friends Electric?

None of my friends are electric. My toaster is but we're no longer on speaking terms. Anybody got an electric friend? Otherwise I'd say no to that question.

1. Do You Know the Way to San Jose?

I don't. It's in America/Mexico somewhere I think but for me that's a no.

1. Should I stay or should I go?

If I go there will be trouble but if I stay it will be double, so the answer is go. Basic maths.

1. If I Said You Had a Beautiful Body, Would You Hold it Against Me?

Some questions shouldn't be asked. #measwell

1. How Much is that Doggie in the Window?

Anybody know how much dogs are? Are dogs kept in windows more or less expensive than non-window dogs?

Do you know the way to San Jose?

Yes, I drove past it once, in California. Unless you mean the other one, in which case, no.

Serve the servants

Okay. They need a rest. Are you going to help?

Where are we? What the hell is going on?

Have you considered that you might have a drinking problem?

What's my age again?

Erm.......

Do you hate me?

Would you like the honest answer or shall I lie?

What's your name little girl?

Firstly, I'm a woman. If you think I'm young enough to be a girl then you really shouldn't be trying to chat me up you sick fuck.
Secondly, fuck off. None of your business.

(This is a brilliant thread!)

Can I kick it?

If you follow the tenstep programme and stop hanging around with those losers

What becomes of the broken hearted?

they get rushed into A&E and seen by doctor, all for free! #goNHS

"But I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
Just to be the man who walks a thousand miles
To fall down at your door"

Please please tell me now, is there something I should know?

Well there’s no need to beg, of course there are many things you should know, depends what your areas of interest are really

Isn’t she...pretty in pink

Meh, she’s alright. The blue one might have been better for her skin tone.

“I can see clearly now the rain has gonel

I just used the wipers.

And it was all yellow.

(Don't eat that snow)

Early one morning, just as the sun was rising, I heard a maiden singing in the valley below.

Shut the fuck up!!! It’s five o’clock and some of us are trying to get some sleep!!!
Maiden? Not this side of the millennium!

"It wasn't me"

You lying fu£ng B%£#ard!!! It's all over the primark version of Kim Kardashian bit&h's instagram!!!

Kill the DJ

Bugger, I've just killed the thread... Although it is past 03.00, UK time.

[hangs head in shame and sidles off]

What's that coming over the hill?

Bloody tractor and its entourage of frustrated cars. I hate single-lane roads! Stick the car in reverse, we need to find that lay-by.

Are the stars out tonight?

Yes. They come out every night. It's cloudy you thick fucker which is why you can't see them.

this thread has cheered me up. Can't sleep and I've been snickering all the way through

Hello...

Hi!

Can you feel it? Can you feel it? Can you FEEEEEEL it?

Yes. I can. Now stop rubbing yourself against me, you're not a rutting dog.

Can you feeeel the love tonight?

Not particularly, I can feel my throat getting scratchy which means darling DC has probably given me a cold or something lethal, and I can feel that my pillow needs plumping. I can also feel my to-do list waiting, age creeping over me, a sense of gnawing responsibility as a mother, and the weight of patriarchal oppression, if that helps?

Do you like pina coladas?

Nope.

Will you be my American boy?

I'm 5'1, not 5'7 and I'm a woman not a boy!! I think you're looking in the wrong place. Also Estelle I'm sure you can afford to take yourself on holiday you don't need a boy to take you (and stay away from Kanye West, I think he might have issues and he's married).

Why are we all here?

Because there's a moth the size of a saucer flapping around in the bathroom.

Do you like pina coladas?
Actually I am quite partial to one.

Getting caught in the rain?
Not so much

Feel of the ocean?
Yup

The taste of champagne?
Sorry, nope

Making love at midnight in the dunes of the cape?
Absolutely not! I'm not an exhibitionist and the sand gets everywhere!

Hay Jude

What now?

I want your sex

Not tonight love I've got a headache!!

Wake me up before you go go

Because yesterday I was late for work!!