Answers to songs.

[Goldenbug]

1. Are Friends Electric?

None of my friends are electric. My toaster is but we're no longer on speaking terms. Anybody got an electric friend? Otherwise I'd say no to that question.

1. Do You Know the Way to San Jose?

I don't. It's in America/Mexico somewhere I think but for me that's a no.

1. Should I stay or should I go?

If I go there will be trouble but if I stay it will be double, so the answer is go. Basic maths.

1. If I Said You Had a Beautiful Body, Would You Hold it Against Me?

Some questions shouldn't be asked. #measwell

1. How Much is that Doggie in the Window?

Anybody know how much dogs are? Are dogs kept in windows more or less expensive than non-window dogs?

"Does he wash up?
He never wash up
Does he clean up?
No, he never cleans up"

LTB, clearly. How well he can dance is blatantly irrelevant to housework division.

We don't need no education ...

Really? It sounds like you could do with learning what a 'double negative' is.

"I drove all night to get to you,
Is that all right?
I drove all night,
Crept into your room,
Woke you from your sleep
To make love to you.
Is that all right?

I drove all night."

No it bloody well isn't all right, Roy Orbison. Stop whining and leave me alone. If you ever wake me up again, it will not go well with you.

Do you hear the people sing, singing the songs of angry men?

Yes!

Who Let The Dogs Out?

Not guilty Judge Judy.

Have I told you lately that I love you?

At 70, I couldn't tell you the time, don't confuse me.

Kiss Me Kate Cole Porter

Why Can't You Behave?

Because I'm like a shagging rat up a drain pipe and I don't give a shit about you.

If my wife has a bag of gold,
Do I care if the bag be old?

Don't be ridiculous. It's all about the money. Why do you think I married her?

More Cole Porter

I get no kick from Champagne
Mere alcohol doesn't thrill me at all
So tell me why should it be true
That I get a kick out of you

You're in early stage lust. It will wear off. I'd give it 3 months.

Where's me jumper? Where's me jumper? Where's me jumper?

You probably didn’t bring it with you, it’s not the usual choice of dress for dancing in the disco. And there’s no need keep asking, I heard you the first time.

Voulez-vous?

Non.

Whatsa matter you, hey, why you looka so sad?

Cos you keep singing that silly song.

And did those feet in ancient time
Walk upon England's mountains green?
And was the holy Lamb of God
On England's pleasant pastures seen?
And did the countenance divine
Shine forth upon our clouded hills?
And was Jerusalem builded here
Among those dark Satanic Mills?

NO

Bring me my bow of burning gold!
Bring me my arrows of desire!
Bring me my spear! O clouds, unfold!
Bring me my chariot of fire!

Again, NO. Get it yourself

Pardon me boy - is that the Chattanooga Choo Choo?

Nope. It’s the rail replacement bus service for Southern Rail. And Choo Choo - really? How old are you?

Who are you? Who-oo are you?

To be honest Roger, it's a delicate ontological question these days.

I just died in your arms.

Oh dear - this is going to take a bit of explaining!

Hungry like the wolf

Have you tried Just Eat?

Smells like teen spirit

No - smells like someone used a whole can of Lynx, instead of showering this morning. If I can taste it three rooms and one floor away, you have used too much!

'Every time you go away, you take a piece of me with you.'

That's entirely your fault, Paul, for thinking my holiday suitcase was a good place to store your pickled appendix in a jar.

Do you realise
that everyone you love
someday will die

Cheers for that, happy crack.

Tick tick tock tick boom!

No, its an alarm clock. It goes bzzz! Until you wake up

People are people so why should it be you and I should get along so awfully?
-Maybe you're just a bit of a dick.

Why don’t we do it in the road?
You KNOW why.

How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man?

Ok, Bob but if you'd just asked for directions straight away, like a woman would 've we'd be sat in the warm bar by now instead of traipsing round town in the rain.

How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man?

42

Or else the mice will be really furious

"Silk or leather, or a feather?"

I believe they're a rather conservative firm, Adam, so a dark suit would probably make a better impression at the interview.

Teenage dirtbag.

The shower is that way - use it!

Love really hurts without you!

Perhaps you should slacken your grip a little.

I can see clearly now

So you’d recommend Lasix, then?

Everybody wants to rule the world

But no-one wants to be in charge of Brexit!

Every breath you take, every move you make I'll be watching you.

Ok...I'm just going to pick up my coat and bag and pop to the toilet. There's a window in there, right?