Answers to songs.

[Goldenbug]

1. Are Friends Electric?

None of my friends are electric. My toaster is but we're no longer on speaking terms. Anybody got an electric friend? Otherwise I'd say no to that question.

1. Do You Know the Way to San Jose?

I don't. It's in America/Mexico somewhere I think but for me that's a no.

1. Should I stay or should I go?

If I go there will be trouble but if I stay it will be double, so the answer is go. Basic maths.

1. If I Said You Had a Beautiful Body, Would You Hold it Against Me?

Some questions shouldn't be asked. #measwell

1. How Much is that Doggie in the Window?

Anybody know how much dogs are? Are dogs kept in windows more or less expensive than non-window dogs?

who wants to be a millionaire?

Well, if you're offering....

will you be my number two?

Nah, you're alright.

Everything I do, I do it for you!

Excellent, you can start with the dishwasher, then clean the bathrooms and you don't do it 'for me' its your bloody house too you are equally responsible for the housework!!!

"Everything I do, I do it for you"

Good! The first thing you can do is belt up with that awful song!

x-post there billy

Last train to London
Just heading out
Last train to London
Just leaving town ...

I hate to be the one to tell you, mate, but this train is the service to Penzance ... non-stop.

Turned Kingdoms to dust

Everything ends eventually. Usually nice trees grow, which can actually be a lot better

And I would walk 500 miles...

Off you go, then!

Red, red wine

Clear, clear gin.

Do you know?

Youll wish I didnt know.

Where were you....?
Kissing your brother...

Just give me a reason?
Because he wasn’t a boring no sense of humour dick...

Don't you know that it's different for girls?

No, that's just marketing and societal pressure to conform to gender expectations.

Whos’s gonna drive you home?

Uber.

Is this burning an eternal flame?

No, you just turn the knob anti-clockwise back to zero and it goes out.

Where do you go to my lovely
When you're alone in your head?

Well it varies, sometimes it's Meal planning, sometimes I replay arguments where I give all the smart answers but usually it's just me and Ryan Gosling ..

Did you have to go to jail? Put your house on up for sale? Did you get a good lawyer?

No, never got caught, only a bit of weed anyway. Still looking for a solicitor for when we finally move though, hopefully before Christmas

Come with me baby don't say...
Maybe. Depends where you're going.

How can you mend a broken heart?
A good diet, plenty of exercise, less alcohol and possibly surgery.

What's love got to do with it?
Fuck all. What is love, really?

Does anybody really know what time it is?
I just called the talking clock and she said it's twenty to one in the morning and I really ought to go to bed.

Where is my mind?
Same place as all the missing socks I think.

How long?
Dunno. How long's a piece of string?

"Are we human or are we dancer?"

I'm definitely human mate, I've been tested. Anyone who thinks I could possibly be dancer or have anything vaguely to do with dance has not seen me after a few cocktails.

Who am I and who are you and who are we?

Benny, if you're that wasted, there is no we.

Bring your daughter to the slaughter...

Erm, its awfully kind of you to invite her but bedtimes are already a nightmare. I fear that the witnessing of ritualistic human sacrifice may exacerbate the problem somewhat. But thanks for thinking of her.

Is this burning an eternal flame?

No - it's probably thrush - have some Canestan!

Loving this thread.

Hark, the held angels sing
Oh lovely, carol singers! (Seasonal warm glow)

Oh little town of Bethlehem
Ah, more carol singers, lovely.

Away in a manger
Just ignore them, and hope they think we’re out.

In the bleak midwinter,
Turn the lights out and make no noise, let’s hide behind the sofa.

We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas
FFS! That’s the fifth lot in an hour! Tell them to bugger off!

"Bet you're wondering how I knew, 'bout your plans to make me blue......"
You been going through my phone messages again ??

"I'm hunting high and low ..."

Have you looked on top of the fridge?

Naughty naughty very naughty

Not really. Its my cake. If I want to eat a gateaux for 8 by myself I can

Can you hear the drums, Fernando?
Do you still recall the fateful night we crossed the Rio Grande?

Drums, you say? I thought it was the heating pipes banging.
Can’t say I can recall the river crossing. Was I there? Have you confused me with someone else?

Why don't you love me like you used to do ?

Oh God - where to start ? - OK let begin with nose hair and farting in bed....