Answers to songs.

[Goldenbug]

1. Are Friends Electric?

None of my friends are electric. My toaster is but we're no longer on speaking terms. Anybody got an electric friend? Otherwise I'd say no to that question.

1. Do You Know the Way to San Jose?

I don't. It's in America/Mexico somewhere I think but for me that's a no.

1. Should I stay or should I go?

If I go there will be trouble but if I stay it will be double, so the answer is go. Basic maths.

1. If I Said You Had a Beautiful Body, Would You Hold it Against Me?

Some questions shouldn't be asked. #measwell

1. How Much is that Doggie in the Window?

Anybody know how much dogs are? Are dogs kept in windows more or less expensive than non-window dogs?

Who's That Girl?

That's our Maureen's lass. Married a lad from Crewe.

What's new, pussycat?

Well, I've just coughed up a big hairball at the top of the stairs, where someone's sure to put their bare foot into it in the morning!

Do you know where you're going to?

Yes. The corner shop. I'm hormonal and I need sweets. I'll tell the lady there 'these are not all for me' but it's a lie. I can't decide what I want so I'm buying four different bags and putting them in one bowl and will snap the fingers off anyone who tries to take one.

How do you do what you do to me?

Booze and good food

Have I Told You Lately That I Love You?
Yes, and it's getting bloody boring!

Is this the way to Amarillo?

No, it's the way to Armadillo.

How will I know?

If you have to ask, Whitney, he probably doesn't.

Where is the love?
I don't know. Go and check in some parallel universe.

Don't Cha?
If you're talking about watching Only Fools and Horses for the ten billionth time, no. So stop asking, DM...

How will I Know?
Easy. Train to be psychic.

What's the frequency, Kenneth?

101.9 FM. But you'd get crisper sound on DAB.

Life in Mars?

Seems highly likely, but they're probably microscopic microbes

Does he love me, I want to know

Probably not love, he says that to everyone

Nadine, honey, is that you?
No, it's not, Chuck, clear off!

Lay, lady, lay. Lay on my big, brass bed.
It's lie, Bob, I'm not a fucking hen.

Didn't we have a lovely time the day we went to Bangor.

No.

Do your ears hang low? Can you tie them in a bow?

No, I've got quite small earlobes, as it happens. I certainly can't tie them in a bow.

Is Vic there?..
.. Err no, i think must have the wrong number

Where is the Love?

Upstairs sleeping at the moment.

Will you still love me tomorrow?

As long as you don’t keep me awake with your snoring then, yes.

Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when Im 64?

Actually, Im kind of struggling with the demands of this relationship at the moment, so its an outside chance at the best

Have you ever seen the rain?

I live in the UK, so there’s more than an outside chance I have.

Hey there Delilah, whats it like in New York city?

Seriously, get a lonely planet guide and look at the weather forecast.
Stop expecting me to spoon feed you.

Brother, can you spare a dime?

TBH I’m a bit short until pay day. I could probably slip you a few cents early next week, if that helps?

Is she really going out with him?

Yes but only because he has a posh car and a 6 figure salary.

Take me dancing naked in the rain

Nope, it's bloody freezing out there and blue balls are not a turn on!!!

Where are you tonight?

In bed already. House was freezing as the heating’s gone off...