Things your mum did that made you feel happy and loved

[EllaYuck]

Mine worked outside of the home but always made sure that she took me to school in the morning. She rarely judged my character in a negative way (would tell me off for all sorts of things but never pick on my character as such) and despite my being average in school always told me that she believed I was smart and would be good at anything I worked hard for. Despite working, she would be interested in what was going on for me at any time. She even patiently listened to some of the crap compilations I got from various unsuitable boyfriends.

What things did your mum do that made you feel happy and loved?

sang to me at night and cooked me nice food

Fed me :) read to me at bedtime. I love this thread, feel I've been a bit harsh on my little one today so It might give me good ideas and reassure me 😁

lit a fire on cold evenings.
washed and ironed clothes, we always looked clean and tidy.
tried her best at christmas with not much but we always felt we'd got loads
turned up at school plays and when i was on the debating team
not a whole lot else to report but they stood out

Absolutely nothing

Not much

Always listened to any concern of mine with interest no matter how big or small. She always made sure my voice mattered and has never fobbed me off. She has also always been my biggest cheerleader.

Lots of affection, physical contact. Always had time for me when I needed her attention. Did things she knew would make me happy (cooking something I liked, putting effort into choosing gifts at Birthdays and Christmas etc), respected my privacy when I was a teenager and trusted me. Told me she loved me, smiled whenever she saw me, read to / with me at bedtime, made me laugh and helped me make very fond memories of my childhood. I always felt loved and she could always make me happy.

Hedgehogblues and Iggelypiggley i tried to be generous to my mum on this occasion but have ended up making my childhood sound Dickensian. Which is crediting it really.
Sad to hear that yours was as meagre as mine.

Listened to my long rambling stories.
Picked me up late at night without complaining
Cooked me lovely food
Rubbed my head when l was sick
Took a big interest in my school work
Made Christmas very exciting even with large family and little money

Not much at all as a child ... but when I lived away at university she would send me a parcel every couple of months with food, chocolate, toiletries and some fun/novelty little bits in which was always a lovely surprise. I was actually completely shocked when I received the first one!

Sadly, absolutely nothing

One rainy night when i was working late, came and met me from the bus stop with an umbrella- this was before mobiles so she had to wait a while.
Also putting hot water bottles into bed on a cold evening.
I really miss that kind of unconditional love.

In many ways she wasn't a good parent at all and we are low contact today. She has not met my children. She isn't stable and going into my tweenies was horrific. But it wasn't all bad, she took an interest in my homework when I was younger, read to me and fed me well, kept me clean and neat and tried to give me good Christmases and birthdays. She also said something that really made me think re. not having much money:
"Van, I want you to know that I would love, love, love to just walk into a toy shop and buy you every single lovely, fun thing in there just to see your happy face. But I simply can't. But I totally would if I could!"

Bought me books and books and books. Took me to the library three times a week when I was too little to go on my own and stayed there for hours while I picked what I wanted and then, when I was old enough to go on my own, followed me from a discreet distance to make sure I didn’t get hit by a car crossing the single road between our house and the library.

My sister and I were saying the other day that we don't think our mum ever shouted at us. Or told us to be quiet. She is so kind,calm and patient.

-Read to me every night even when I got older.
-Trusted me to make my own decisions and work hard (didn't try to force her own ideas/plans on me).
-Took an interest in my friends.
-Planned stuff for us to do like Christmas activities etc.
-Debated things with me and listened to my ideas.
-Gave me space and privacy.

This is a nice thread. Mine always made sure I had clean bedsheets, changed once a week. There was lots of other things I'm sure, overall I had a nice childhood despite my parents divorce and a stepdad I couldn't stand, but that sticks in my mind and even now I love having clean sheets. It makes me feel looked after and comforted (even when it's me who's washed them and changed them).

My mum never really said she loved me and still never does say it, although I know she does love me. I say it to my kids all the time, just to be sure they know. I wonder what they would say I do that makes them feel loved? I might ask them...

Nothing. She has always been jealous of me and has never wanted me. She hates me.

Lots of affection. Didn’t really do punishments and things like that, would talk about problems and teach me about morals, almost talking to me like I was a grown up. Kind and caring always. Asked a lot of questions. Told me stories about her life. Was warm, funny, genuine. Made huge effort with Christmas and birthday and making sure I had the right stuff for school etc. Came up with fun plans and ideas. Knew how to be silly and have a laugh. She was and is wonderful.

Sadly, not an awful lot.

" love this thread, feel I've been a bit harsh on my little one today so It might give me good ideas and reassure me" Precisely my reason for starting this tread. Had a bit of a hiss at dc1 for not packing their bags and being a bit disorganised. Then dropped them off at breakfast club felt guilty all day and missed them a lot.

CurcubitaPepo

Neither of my parents were without their challenges but I wanted to remember the small stuff that made me feel supported and safe to get some pointers to make my dc feel happy and loved. I think I do but sometimes I feel I don't quite measure up.

to all the posters who haven't got fond memories.

My mum died when I was young so not many memories. But I just asked my dd who is 5 and she says I always take her to her happy place - v sweet, whatever it means!

When i walked anywhere, she would watch me from the upstairs hall window. I'd look back before i reached parkland and wave to her as she'd still be at the window. 😍
She took us all skating every Saturday and watched from the gallery for 2.5 hours. I'd find that boring as a Mum ☺
She also didn't judge me. I was and still am the 1% but she's always supported me and been there.
I could go on. She's amazing.
We have had bad disagreements and nc during late teens and early 20s.

Apple jelly. It could be bought, but the peeling and squeezing and stewing and a sticky smell in the whole house made it much much better.