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Original poster

Things your mum did that made you feel happy and loved

181 replies

EllaYuck · 12/11/2018 15:50

Mine worked outside of the home but always made sure that she took me to school in the morning. She rarely judged my character in a negative way (would tell me off for all sorts of things but never pick on my character as such) and despite my being average in school always told me that she believed I was smart and would be good at anything I worked hard for. Despite working, she would be interested in what was going on for me at any time. She even patiently listened to some of the crap compilations I got from various unsuitable boyfriends.

What things did your mum do that made you feel happy and loved?

OP posts:
RoseMartha · 12/11/2018 21:44

Read to me, wanted to hear about my day, listened to me when i had a problem, was there when i needed her.

kayakingmum · 12/11/2018 21:48

Sewed on my brownie club badges.

uncoolnn · 12/11/2018 21:51

I know she would be with me in a heartbeat if I needed her. I know she loves me every single day. She is my absolute rock and I love her to pieces Smile

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Families
scotjls · 12/11/2018 21:59

Read me a bedtime story
Sat on the toilet (seat) while I was in the bath and sang songs of my choosing with me
Looked after me when I sat exams and empathised
Put on my electric blanket before I got to bed

Sipperskipper · 12/11/2018 22:05

Gave (and still gives) me absolutely unconditional love. Always making me feel she was proud of me, whatever I was doing.

Would drop anything and everything to give me support and a listening ear, and still does.

Knowing just how to reassure me and help me to feel better about things.

Making our house full of fun and laughter - she is a silly, loud person by nature!

Letting me get in bed with her in the mornings. Still do if I’m ever there when she’s in bed, and I’m 33 now!

MrsTumbletap · 12/11/2018 22:07

Not many things my mum wasn't the nicest person.

I remember a couple of cuddles when I was little, but they stopped at about age 8.

I will cuddle my son for as long as he lets me.

ImTakingTheEssence · 12/11/2018 22:16

Electric blanket on the bed or hot water bottle evernight when it was cold.
Heated my pjs/school uniform on the radiator before i put them on.

House was always spotless everything has to be just so which she didnt pass on to me.

I used to be very shy and starting school she used to put kisses in my hand and tell me to put them in my pocket and to get them out if i was scared.

Nitpickpicnic · 12/11/2018 22:21

She set up and remembered all the small rituals: special dinner plate on birthdays, strawberry picking day, building little dams in the local creek.

She restricted sweets (no matter how much we whined) and gave us a love of fresh crunchy veggies. Great tools for adulthood.

hazeyjane · 12/11/2018 22:25

Reading this thread sort of takes my breath away. I can't imagine people feeling this way about a parent. I don't know if that is a because I am an awful person. I can only imagine my children feeling the sort of negativity I feel, but god I hope they don't.

User02 · 12/11/2018 22:36

@Papergirl1968 I am glad that you have put up the alternative view. My story is similar to yours. I have been in dangerous situations trying to keep them safe. One had a partner who hit me and she said I was not to hit him. They drink to excess, I don't know but expect that drugs are likely to be involved. The shout scream and swear at me. They also treat their DCs in the same way, but their partners don't get the same treatment. They have been violent. They live in socially reduced areas and I know I definitely did not prepare them for that. They try to re-write history. I have been argued with at volume about things that happened before they were born.
I have tried hard with them but now I am old and tired, much more so than you would expect for my years. They do nothing to give me any help and they are now allowing their DCs to be very cheeky and nasty to me concerning my health and allow their partners to join in.
I only ever saw them when they wanted babysitting or money. I kept them with their father walked out and never paid a penny while I worked all hours. They have re-written that fact too. Now I was the bad person who kept hellish father away from them. No Christmas presents from the father
Now I keep my own company because it is so much better than being shouted and sworn at. It is okay but I really would have liked to have had a happy family. I don't actually think their lives are happy. It is best to stay away from that kind of person even if they are your nearest and dearest.

Lovingit81 · 12/11/2018 22:47

My mums perfect in every way. I long to emulate her patience, love, generosity and spirit.

Thanks to all those who didn't get a loving parent.

I love her to the moon and back.

Papergirl1968 · 12/11/2018 22:48

Oh, User, Flowers for you.
You’re right, it is easier to be alone than subjected to that abuse - and it is abuse.
One day, like you, I’ll have to walk away for the sake of my own sanity.

Beamur · 12/11/2018 22:53

Lots of things big and small.
Always made me the best packed lunches.
Made me clothes. This was sometimes better than other times...
Made me laugh.
Treated me in kind and thoughtful ways.
Did my ironing.
Looked after DD.
Always up for cake and sherry.
She's not with us any more and I miss her a lot.

kaldefotter · 12/11/2018 22:53

She knitted me a jumper with penguins that all had bobble hats and little scarves you could tie up when I was about 8. I never shut up about it so she knitted me a grown up size one too

I cannot tell you how much I love this post. Brew

LeeRoar · 12/11/2018 22:58

Made me soup when I was ill.
Brought cakes home from work.
Ironed all my clothes, and even when I moved out offered to iron things that were difficult like dresses with weird pleats.
Let me have a few mental health days off in high school when I was struggling.
Sat with me every day during visiting hours when I was induced and waited outside while I had my C Section so she could be sure baby and I were fine.

Loads of stuff. My mum is my best mate Smile

Wheresmrlion · 12/11/2018 23:07

Not got the best relationship, I think she struggled with me growing up and gaining independence. Home life was often very tense, lots of guilt tripping, no emotional support, some awful arguments where she said really nasty things.

But she did lots of things when I was a child that I am grateful for, making sure that me and my siblings could all swim, drive and play an instrument before we left home. Encouraging education, driving us to uni. We had a nicely decorated home at Christmas and always had some presents on our birthdays. Often had a summer holiday which must have taken a lot of budgeting and planning.

I’m a classic ‘but we took you to stately homes’ case!

Greensleeves · 12/11/2018 23:10

Finally got the message, obeyed the repeated police warnings and left me the fuck alone to bring up my children in peace.

That's made me feel happy and loved. Not by her, but it'll do.

Wheresmrlion · 12/11/2018 23:11

One moment that stays in my mind is going to a friends house after school and her Mum offering us both a glass of orange juice, taking the carton and glasses out, pouring it and handing it to us. I remember thinking how strange it was, I’d never had anyone do anything like that for me.

I think I thought my friend was a bit pathetic for not just getting her own drink at the time but now I’m a parent I realise it was just a simple caring gesture from her Mum. Bit sad really.

Talith · 12/11/2018 23:12

So many things. When I was in my 20s I was staying over at my parents' house as it was closer to the morning appointments for work
I burnt my little work dress on the iron before I had to leave for work and so hastily had to wear something else. Just a crap nylon Dorothy Perkins shift dress. When I came home she'd gone to DP and found something similar to replace it for me. That thoughtfulness and time taken has always made me feel loved but she's done a million similar things tbh. I'm bloody lucky xxx

Petitepamplemousse · 12/11/2018 23:34

Flowers to those of you who didn’t have mothers like mine, or like the other good ones on this thread.

MeMeMeow85 · 12/11/2018 23:37

She gave me total comfort, confidence and support. But then she died one day out of the blue. Our close family unit fractured and I never recovered from the shock. I’ve missed her every single day for the past 16 years.

I’m glad you wrote this post OP.

InsomniacAnonymous · 13/11/2018 00:00

Both my parents made absolutely sure that I felt unhappy and unloved. That's not something you can get over.

SushiMonster · 13/11/2018 00:05

Too many things to list. I had a great mum. One of the best.

murmuration · 13/11/2018 09:50

paper - I think they will remember the nice bits, too. Flowers

I did and do know my mother loves me, although a lot of the other parts of my childhood were unhappy, and I still have troubling handling her relentless criticism (I mostly have stopped telling her anything I care about, but sometimes I forget). So I was able to find quite a list of 'small' things that she did the made me know she loves me.

mommybear1 · 13/11/2018 14:48

I was 19 when my darling Mum died didn't really have time to grieve as I had a much younger brother to help. I've become a Mum myself in the last year and realise how much I miss my own Mum and everything she did for me I am emulating some thing she did that I remember from my childhood - this thread has made me remember more Thanksthank you.

CakeThanksGinto those with awful memories.