I don’t get overwhelmed with life!? AMA…

[username68]

I have name changed for this. But I read a lot on here about lots of people being overwhelmed with life (which I’m not disputing that they do feel that way) and its demands in general. I just don’t feel this, I never really have tbh. Don’t know why this is so thought I’d do an AMA to see if there’s something about me that lends to this? Don’t know if that makes sense but anyway. So here I am AMA…

Yes at 18 I woke up and got a job earning this amount. 😅 I wish!!

It’s why I asked about personality type

But also OP has a comfortable life from what it seems

That can change - life takes many turns when you least expect or anticipate it

I’m a little bit amused by ‘the usual kitchen diner sunroom’.

I had an ex that was abusive physically and mentally. I only left once physical. I didn’t see it at all until it was too late. That was probably the hardest thing I’ve been through

when my ds was ill. I was obviously emotional but dealt in facts for most of the treatment.

Have you ever considered that maybe you don't feel stressed out or overwhelmed by your life because nothing really awful has ever happened to you?

I'd like to hear from a disabled benefits claimant who's been a victim of abuse and SA and had MH issues who doesn't feel overwhelmed.

Yes I would say I’m like your dh @Girlintheframe

Not bog standard for major industries like hospitality, healthcare, retail, emergency services, anything to do with delivery services whether that’s parcel/supply deliveries or supermarkets, banking, consulting, law, just to name a few. Working a 70 hour week including weekends is barely considered ‘unsociable hours’ like the op has suggested. I’m struggling to think of a single person I know who works til half four (that’s half a days work to me) and has every weekend off. I could cry at the thought of what I could do with all that time, and the time I could spend with my children

Try undiagnosed neurodiversity hits menopause whilst nursing aging parents through 26 years of dementia and ultimately death.

Mix in 30 years of chronic health conditions, running a business and a farm and ask me if I’m overwhelmed or nailing life… two things can be true at once.

Please read all my posts…

I don’t understand the work hours being labelled as incredibly easy - seems pretty average for a full time job? Childhood stability and love, and earning a decent amount as an adult are major factors I think. My childhood was utterly chaotic and as a young adult I got incredibly easily overwhelmed. I feel I’ve had to rewire my brain to enable me to cope and am pretty successful at not getting overwhelmed anymore despite lots of challenges. But I do also earn well and there is no doubt that is a significant factor too.

Im the same op, I also dont have feelings like others do.

Yeah, me too

I’m getting better at it, which is one of the reasons why I’m interested in your thread

In the past, I’ve been methodical and got things done, but then got really upset later

I’m now trying to see The getting upset bit as a bit that doesn’t have to happen - like it involves a lot of emotional management. Is it fair to say that you don’t have the emotions in the first place to manage them? My sister is like that. I’m trying to be more like that. To some extent it works, so far not with everything but I’m pushing hard to get there.

I do think your parents must be quite young if they’re still working I’m not sure but having parents who are healthy enough to be working when you are age 42 is definitely a blessing and of course they can help you out with stuff which is amazing. In 40s I think that’s one of the biggest differences whether or not people have parents who can help them out or whether or not they’ve got to help their parents.

This is a silly thread

you earn a good amount and have worked hard - but we earn a bit more but work far longer hours and often weekends. We can’t work from home, have very little outside help - and so yes we can get stressed if our kids are unwell etc

i am solutions focused and resilient too though - not crying into my napkin every time an issue happens.

but it sounds like we have more unplanned events in our working week to deal with than you - and you seem to think that makes me and others frazzled

i also count my privileges - many people earn less and work crazy or shift hours where they can’t wfh, and are juggling serious illness or disability - or don’t have a partner or other family locally to share the chaos with. Or have other carer duties. And often-times there are people dealing with all of these things at the same time. These aren’t unusual!

You seem to think your circumstances are the bog standard norm - when they aren’t at all.

You are privileged and don’t recognise it at all - which is really quite embarrassing

I've read all your posts and still don't get what you aren't getting. You think there are people out there with a stable family setup, good income, stable jobs, childcare who have always have good mental health, had good childhoods etc who are getting overwhelmed with family life?

What you think is 'extreme' is just daily life for most people

All you've done here is highlight what a naive little bubble you live in!

I never said that I wasn’t privileged. God not every post has to have disclaimers or acknowledgements at the beginning of them

Thanks all. I’ll be back later I have an appointment.

Me i was abused from 3 to 14 home life. from 16 to 29 adult life.
Horrific ways.

I dont call myself a victim either, I survived it.
I dont dwell on it my past will not ruin or run my future.
I dont go around telly every sole about either, either do I say I feel dirty.
The dirty ones are the ones that done it im clean.

No one gets overwhelmed by life until it gets overwhelming. Your life has just been underwhelming so far. Lucky you. There's nothing to learn from that.

Exactly this

The extreme circumstances you mention are not extreme for many people - it’s part and parcel of what they deal with on a daily basis

so many people have chronic pain, so many don’t have local families, so many work shifts - nights/wekeends.

very few people on six figure household incomes, with two parent families, normal hour jobs who can wfh if needed, in good health and have other families are sitting there absolutely overwhelmed with daily life

I think part of it is the outlook people have on life as well. I think the majority have ups and downs. I don’t feel particularly overwhelmed with life as a rule and don’t really have a lot of family support but you learn to deal with it and as the kids grow it gets better and your financial situation also plays a role.

you are literally wondering why you don’t get overwhelmed - without acknowledging that your life has very little to be overwhelmed by …. Because of your privilege which you haven’t acknowledged

it’s not a disclaimer - it’s the fundamental reason as to why you don’t feel overwhelmed

It doesnt matter what you say, there will always be people who say 'well you had/did not have X' so no wonder you dont get overwhelmed'.

Fact is there are some people that crumble at issues and some people dont, who knows why that happens, sometimes on the surface it seems understandable and sometimes it doesnt, bit like why some people are more empathetic than others and some people more intelligent

Yes, that's a bit of an over-egging. Speaking as someone who currently has the luxury of not bothering with full time work and has some prior experience of hospitality shifts.

I don't think you need to understand why, just enjoy it! It's just your personality. Some people are simply unruffled by things. My DH is one of them... he doesn't overthink things, which I think is most people's downfall.

@username68 Do you have a debilitating illness or condition which has impacted your social life or working career?

If not, then obviously you're not feeling overwhelmed.