I am swinger AMA

[AMA097155]

As the title says really. I think there's a lot of misconceptions about my/our choices so I'd thought I'd post.

I am what some term a 'hotwife', although that word gives me the ick.

(A hotwife in the swinging and consensual non-monogamy community is a married or committed woman who has sex with other men with the full knowledge, consent, and active encouragement of her husband)

I have sex with people other than my husband, a a friend with benefits whom I'd seen for a over a year, and friends all within the swinging world.

My husband joins socially and for things like a party but isn't so keen on meeting women solo. We've also jointly attended a club, but the dynamic wasn't for us.

If you have any questions, ask away.

This sounds like there were some real downsides? Are you able to share those in more depth?

I don't think people making money from sex are prostitutes -only fans etc.

They tend to be dull!

I agree.

I like cooking. I cook for my loved ones and sometimes for friends as guests. That doesn't mean I want to be a chef and cook for money!

@HauntedBungalow was just asking if you were the King of the Swingers, the Jungle VIP.

Do you struggle with emotional intimacy?

Why do orgasms not matter?

Would you swing with a woman ?

Making money for performing sexual acts is the very definition of prostitution whether you're on the streets, in a brothel or on only fans.

Would you ever go on that Channel 4 singers show?

How do you find enough men to do this with that you actually fancy? (I don't fancy people very often.) I know a woman who's a domme (for fun, not pay) and she's slept with about 60 men in the past few years. She showed me a photo of one of the men and he was NOT good-looking at all, and she also said his hygiene wasn't the best! I suppose for her, it was all about the physical touch, but I could never find so many men that I fancied enough to sleep with. I don't think I've ever even fancied sixty men in my whole life! (But am not asexual - when I find one that I like, am a right rampant rabbit!)

So yeah, I think if I tried swinging, I wouldn't find many people I'd actually want to swing with. How do you find them?

Also wondering, now I've written that out about my friend, if she wasn't a sex worker after all...(We lost touch).

That's exactly the gist of it. Swingers wouldn't refer to what they do as swinging, because that includes participation from both partners. This is where the husband wants his wife to sleep with other men, but he's not banging it around himeslf.

I rarely meet men I fancy!

My main questions are a) how/in what settings do you meet people who are down for it? and b) would you say you’re easily attracted to others? Only asking ne wise how me it’s extremely rare I find anyone attractive enough to the point of sexual attraction.

Like the OP, your reply also seems to suggest that being a sex worker is lesser than...beneath swinging....or casual sex with loads of different partners. Where as I come from the perspective that sex workers are swinging the smart way.

Yes, same here.

@AMA097155 So, 12 months into your 10 year marriage, when you were in your mid-twenties, you suggested swinging to your husband?

At that time, did you consider divorce or had the children already arrived?

I was going to ask that. The fire station near me has loads growing out side.must pop in there 🤣

😂

😅

Is there a big swinging scene in your town? Do they advertise in some way that they are up for it ?

One year in to the marriage?? Bloody hell!

Have you ever gotten an STI? Is this something you worry about?

Pretty sure people do

Ime people into swinging struggle with emotional intimacy. Swinging is a way to dilute this.
And yes most women do value orgasms during sex.

Like a previous poster said, if you enjoy something and do it for pleasure with lots of different people eg sex, cooking etc it doesn't mean you want to do it as a job.

Also, I think most people consider prostitution 'lesser' because selling yourself is generally considered a horrible way to make money.