My husband is trans ftm AMA

[WhatOnFuckingEarth]

That’s about it. My husband is a heterosexual trans man and I’m a heterosexual cisgendered woman. We have two kids conceived via IVF (aged 2.5 months and 2 years). He is 5 years on testosterone and 8 years post double mastectomy, 3 years post phalloplasty, 2 years post final genital surgery.

Does your partner have any ongoing health problems caused by the hormones or surgeries?

@Ohfudgeit

I didn't know that cis was not allowed on MN? That's a bizarre choice if that is what HQ have decided. It's usually used in discussions around trans, to specify exactly what's what. It's not generally used outside of that.

That would be why we have man, woman and trans man, trans woman.

Its not a difficult concept to grasp.

OP do you find it a bit pervy that so many people jump straight to asking (repeatedly despite you having already answered), about your husbands genitals, sexual ability, sexual gratification and aggressive questions as to your sexuality?

I actually think, that although graphic its important to know. With hundreds of teenage girls heing pushed down this path, and adult male bodied people involved often in the process, telling then all will be great, etc and with some involved in lgbt groups where young teens were subjected to hearing about their sex lives and now good they were , they had no reason to believe that they would lose their sexual function

When concerned parent's bring this up we are told we are sexualising children.

With adult's if they have made an informed decision to alter their bodies then they can knock themselves out.

But our teenage girls are being told they can get their breasts back.later or freeze eggs etc

So, I am actually grateful for op being honest here. I think the answer was very sad dont get me wrong. I'm.not sure I could do it. But its honest at least and that's more than drs therapists and activists seem prepared to do

If it works for them then great. That's up to them.

I didn't know that cis was not allowed on MN? It is specificaly open to censorship on the FWR boards

That's a bizarre choice if that is what HQ have decided. Why? They bowed to external pressure to police langage around trans individuals and female posters asked that the term 'cis' was also banned as most have absolutely no intention of accepting a special label that seeks to make them a subset of 'woman'

It's usually used in discussions around trans NO, you mean by transwomen

to specify exactly what's what. It's not generally used outside of that. Don't be naive... just look at what has become possible now even the law considers there to be more than one kind of woman! Women raping with their own penis, the penis they were born with. Or sport... Male bodied peole competing against female opposition with not a hint of shame.. or scintilla of science!

OP do you find it a bit pervy that so many people jump straight to asking (repeatedly despite you having already answered), about your husbands genitals, sexual ability, sexual gratification and aggressive questions as to your sexuality?

Did you really expect people would be more interested in who puts the bins out?

I don't get why its necessarily 'pervy'. The fact that medical technology allows creation of a simulated body part, along with the associated long-term medical requirements of maintaining that and any associated health implications is pretty fascinating.

Personally, I'd be interested to know what happens to a transman's vagina, as presumably that will always exist as it cannot be removed in the same way that womb, ovaries and cervix can be. So does a transman just pretend that they no longer have/never had a vagina?

Do you think it’s important that the question is asked repeatedly even when answered?

I’d say it’s creepy and quite pervy, there’s being interested and then there’s being obsessed.

@PinkyU

OP do you find it a bit pervy that so many people jump straight to asking (repeatedly despite you having already answered), about your husbands genitals, sexual ability, sexual gratification and aggressive questions as to your sexuality?

It is

Ask Me ANYTHING.

It's worse when some of the questions ask things OP carefully explained in her OP. It's like nobody reads a whole post anymore! I know we are all fallible, but the OP?? - it wasn't even all that long!

Do you think it’s important that the question is asked repeatedly even when answered?

It's not specific to this thread though. Many posters don't read the full thread before posting. Fondly remembers cancel the cheque

Did your husband have a hysterectomy?

That would be why we have man, woman and trans man, trans woman. Its not a difficult concept to grasp.

This. Exactly.

OP didn't need to say anything other than she is a heterosexual woman. Cisgender is bullshit and ridiculous.

OP, how do you both handle conversations around biological sex things with people who don't know he's trans?

For example, if men are talking about blokey sex things, does DH find it triggering or stressful or is he happy to 'pass' and just play along?

And when you're there, do you find yourself wanting to jump in and save him by changing the subject, and if so, do you do this or see how it plays out?

She's having sex with a person who has facial hair and a penis. She isn't attracted to women. She is heterosexual

Not when she started this relationship.

For some people, sex is not a big part of life - it's just a 'thing'. A pretty marginal group of course. I'm not sure why it makes you sad but sexual reproduction is a pretty big deal for humanity so sex is always going to be a big deal for most people.

It is AMA, it’s not AMA countless times despite having thoroughly answering it half a dozen times already.

Also it’s ALWAYS the same names who see a trans related AMA and come to ask questions about genitals, sex, sexual gratification, sexuality. You’d think they’d be pretty well versed by now. It feels obsessive and, as I say, really pervy when the same names crop up each time asking the same creepy sexual based questions, don’t you think?

Thank you so much for being so open, and understanding towards the negative comments you have received.

I have a close relative who is mtf, and transitioned after marriage, and while having young children. The children are in no way damaged, and her and her wife have the most loving, supportive, understanding marriage I have seen amongst my peers.

And for those wondering, they consider themselves lesbian.

And another aside. I had elective (ie, not life saving) surgery that has left me with no sexual feeling, but I still get pleasure from sex in all forms. Orgasm is not the only pleasure to be found in sex.

Ohfudgeit

But that was only initially. They were having a relationship before his surgery.

She's having sex with a person who has facial hair and a penis. She isn't attracted to women.

Her female partner is having sex with a woman who presents as a woman. Her female partner is attracted to women. Her female partner has had relationships with women in the past that are described as lesbian relationships. But we are to believe that this person is not a lesbian?

Hi, thanks for doing this.
I consider myself an LGBT alley but I’m also a GC feminist so I’m somewhat mixed on a lot of issues. Can I ask why your husband and yourself were upset by JK Rowling?