My husband is trans ftm AMA

[WhatOnFuckingEarth]

That’s about it. My husband is a heterosexual trans man and I’m a heterosexual cisgendered woman. We have two kids conceived via IVF (aged 2.5 months and 2 years). He is 5 years on testosterone and 8 years post double mastectomy, 3 years post phalloplasty, 2 years post final genital surgery.

Yes, thank you for answering questions and starting the thread. It's a chance to ask loads of really nosey questions you wouldn't dare ask in real life

@KenDodd We met at a friends party and I originally thought he was a cisgendered man.

@KenDodd That’s ok, it’s a good chance to allow people to get more information on the matter.

Thanks for answering the questions. Do your family and friends know and if so, at what stage of your relationship? What was their reaction?

@TorchesTorches My close family members know but not any friends (bar mutual friends who knew him before his transition). I told my parents as soon as I told them we had got together.

Does he experience orgasm still? If so how?

@TorchesTorches Oh, sorry I didn’t answer the last bit! My mother was not impressed and told me she ‘Never wanted a gay daughter’, my father was fine with it (but a bit confused).

What do you and he think about the GRA?

@KeirStarmerDonkeyFarmer He does not have any sexual sensation and the sensation in his penis feels like that of his arm. There are two options for bottom surgery (metoidiplasty and phalloplasty) however dh wanted to star to ur Kate so chose phalloplasty (which gives no sexual sensation).

Do you 100% honestly believe you are both straight?

Does he get any personal physical enjoyment out of sex? (Other than seeing you enjoy it)

Is his penis virtually the same as someone who was born a man or does it look different?

Are you/have you always been completely heterosexual? Have you ever had a crush on someone female even if you didn't act upon it?

@justdontatme Dh wants to leave behind the fact he is trans and live life as a man with no stigma or recognition that he is trans. We both find the GRA very far flung regarding trans rights and not representing the majority of trans people who want to get on with their lives as their chosen gender.

Has his gender dysphoria been cured by all this surgery?

What’s your sex life like? How do you feel about having sex with a partner who has no sexual sensation?

@Smallsteps88 Yes, I do.

@Enb76 No, never.

@BooFuckingHoo2 Yes he does, he finds it gives him gender euphoria.

Dh wants to leave behind the fact he is trans and live life as a man with no stigma or recognition that he is trans.

Does that mean you won't tell your children?

@MonsteraCheeseplant Yes it has, he now feels like his body matches his feelings.

@KeirStarmerDonkeyFarmer We have a sex life as normal as possible (sex probably fortnightly), it is quite honestly no different to having sex with a partner with sexual sensation (in that regard). We both still get enjoyment out of sex.

@Smallsteps88 Yes, I do.

Despite knowing you are both female?

@Ickabog We will tell the children when we feel they are old enough and have an understanding of the situation. This is because we don’t want to keep secrets from them which could come out at a later date and upset them.

How does it work with your children's birth certificates? Is he on them? Can he be put down as the father?

It’s sad for him that he has no sexual sensation. Hope this doesn’t make me sound like an idiot, but why have the pump as a means to get erect if he gets no sexual enjoyment from doing that?

@Smallsteps88 Because his body looks like a male body I would have no reason to believe otherwise.

I had to google gender euphoria - so sex gives him joy that he is acting/passing as man?

@formerbabe Already answered
@raffle Don’t worry, it doesn’t. It is to try and emulate a normal sex life and giving him the body he wants.