AMA
I'm Barry, AMA
JesusInTheCabbageVan · 15/08/2019 12:55
Hi there girls (or should I say ladies, I know how 'PC' you lot are).
I hear you have some questions for me? Well go ahead, I won't bite - unless you want me to, of course 
Link here
SonEtLumiere · 15/08/2019 12:57
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
JesusInTheCabbageVan · 15/08/2019 13:03
Son Not me, I know how to treat a lady. Some might say I'm old fashioned, but I've never been short of admirers! You modern girls say you want equality, then you moan when you get it.
JesusInTheCabbageVan · 15/08/2019 13:08
Yutes Nah, got to keep the old grey matter active. I'm the type who likes learning new interesting facts - some people claim they don't have time, but they seem to spend enough time on the old Facebook and such like!
JesusInTheCabbageVan · 15/08/2019 13:19
Excellent question Cloud, well done.
A lot of people don't realise how widespread AI (that's what we call Artificial Intelligent - the A stands for Artificial and the I stands for Intelligent) is. Take these Smart Fridges. These days, every fridge that comes off the production line is a Smart Fridge. Now don't worry, it's not as complicated as it sounds. If you get yours set up right (get your husband to have a look) it can do amazing things. The newest models can even bake cakes if you put the right ingredients in there. I'm getting the wife one for her birthday.
EskewedBeef · 15/08/2019 13:25
Hi Barry
How does glow in the dark work? You know, the stuff that glows in the dark, not lights and torches.
JesusInTheCabbageVan · 15/08/2019 13:42
Hah! I must say, you lot are keeping me on my toes!
Glow in the dark is really just chemicals Beef, simple as that. If you want to make a nice roast dinner or a stew, you have to put the ingredients together in the right way. We'll, if you want to make something that glows in the dark, you have to mix the right chemicals together, but these aren't things you'll find in the kitchen. You need a chemical that has Electrons in it, which are quite rare and dangerous if you don't know what you're doing. The Electrons soak up the light, which is why the air looks a bit darker round a glow in the dark chemical in daytime. Then, at night time, the Electrons are activated - same principle as electric lights when it gets dark - and release the light!
Always good to see a girl who likes her science. It's not just for the chaps any more, some chapesses are very bright. If you put your mind to it, I bet you could give me a run for my money!
JesusInTheCabbageVan · 15/08/2019 13:45
*Well.
I see a cheeky comma crept in there. AI in action, Cloud!
EmpressLesbianInChair · 15/08/2019 13:45
Barry, however hard I try at my yoga class I just can’t get into the lotus position. Do you have any tips?
JesusInTheCabbageVan · 15/08/2019 14:02
Empress Ah, a fellow yoga aficionado! (That means expert)
I actually spent 12 years in Goa learning yoga, and was offered quite a lot of money to teach it to the girls' England football team over here, but I refused because the wife wasn't keen (wants me all to herself, and who can blame her!)
Anyway, what I can tell you is that the lotus position is a fairly modern invention, and not an authentic yoga position at all. Nonetheless, you'll need it if you ever want to be a black belt, so you'll just have to persevere. Try doing more exercises, like extra long steps when you're hoovering, or lunges when you're getting dinner out of the oven. At night, sleep with your legs crossed. In a few weeks, you'll be a pro. Namaste!
Gingerkittykat · 15/08/2019 14:14
Barry, how do cats think?
I'm assuming they don't think in words like people. Do they think in pictures?
How do they plan things, like decide to get from kitchen to bed? Do they have a detailed step by step plan or is it all based on instinct?
JesusInTheCabbageVan · 15/08/2019 14:17
YourVagesty Crikey moses, some of you girls have shocking usernames! Your husband must be a very laid back chap.
R&D tax credits are a scam, don't be taken in by it. There are some very unscrupulous companies these days who phone you up and give you an impressive-sounding spiel about how you can claim these 'credits' (usually they say it's for an accident you've had), but if you give them your PIN number and account details, they'll clean you out. Bastards. Luckily I've never been caught out - I think it's mainly women because they have 'emotional' brains rather than 'logical' brains. When they hear 'accident' it sends them into a bit of a tailspin.
NothingTraLaLa · 15/08/2019 14:26
Barry, I worry about the ice caps melting. How can we stop climate change?
, perfect, perfect answer.YourVagesty · 15/08/2019 14:28
OOOOH BARRY!
I forgot!!!!! The question of questions here (but I'm positive that you can answer it) - how can we sort Brexit out?
Passthecherrycoke · 15/08/2019 14:30
Barry, I have a theory that men of a certain age like trump because he represents everything they secretly admire- a rich powerful man, thick as mince but still convinced he’s right, a pussy grabber who takes whatever he wants from whoever he wants it from, a man who has gone bankrupt a number of times to avoid paying supplies and government taxes, a man who will say anything and back anyone to get what he wants no matter who gets in his way. They want to be him.
What say you Barry?
JesusInTheCabbageVan · 15/08/2019 14:31
Ginger cats are actually blind, so no, they don't think in pictures. I know that sounds sad, but don't worry, they've adapted splendidly and most people don't even realise. They think in a combination of smells, vectors and Radiohead.
Right, much as I'd love to stay and chat to you lovely ladies all day, I've got to go and do a bit of this and that in my shed. Why not use this time to do some of those household jobs you're always putting off?
CloudPop · 15/08/2019 16:52
Barry, surely you're not dodging the Brexit question? I feel your wisdom and calm guiding hand would be a massive help to the current chaps who are dealing with it.
JesusInTheCabbageVan · 15/08/2019 19:47
Climate change is a complex one, and we won't solve it just by cutting down consumption. My mates and I have talked this through at length, and I think the answer is to blow up part of the sun, to make it less efficient. Until we can get a bomb out there - try to limit your use of hot things. No more hair dryers and hair straighteners ladies, sorry! Don't shoot the messenger.
JesusInTheCabbageVan · 15/08/2019 19:55
Dodging the Brexit question, dear me no! You young people these days have no patience. Now, the thing about Brexit is that the bureaucrats in Brussels are terrified of losing the UK. Terrified! Why? Because of all the money we give them. That's why they're making it so hard, in the hope that all the Remoaners will get their way. We need to play it tough, show them we mean business, and they'll cave. Remember, we won two World Wars without the EU!
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