I'm Barry, AMA

[JesusInTheCabbageVan]

Hi there girls (or should I say ladies, I know how 'PC' you lot are).

I hear you have some questions for me? Well go ahead, I won't bite - unless you want me to, of course

Link here

iklboo I'm afraid not, but that's a good try! Even though you got it wrong, you should be proud of yourself for trying to think it through logically.

Planes are filled with special ultra-low pressure gases that enable them to stay in the air, even though they are moving very slowly (just watch next time one flies overhead, and you'll see what I mean). There is still some oxygen, so the passengers don't notice. When they tell you to stay in your seat and fasten your seat belts during take off and landing, that's because they're pumping in or sucking out the special gas. It's also what makes aeroplane meals taste the way they do!

tierra I'm 67 years young, I'll have you know! But how lucky you are to be blessed with another Barry.

Poshjock scones aren't just a tasty snack. They originated as a secret code. When the English invaded Cornwall, they would execute anyone caught speaking Cornwall language. In those days, there was a mini ice-age and snow everywhere. The crafty Cornish folk invented cream teas as a way of signalling to resistance fighters when a rebellion was due. Jam (blood) under snow (cream) meant bury your dead and wait. Jam (blood) on top of cream (snow) meant prepare for battle! Over time, Cornwall accepted English rule and all the rebels moved to Devon. As to the correct way... Now you know what it means, you can decide for yourself!

I was about to say that this is the best thing I have ever read, but then I got to the door-closing instructions.

Nurse Ah, that takes me back to when I used to do a bit of hospital portering. The nurses and doctors always used to come to us for advice! I bet there are a good few thousand people walking around today who wouldn't be if not for me.

This time in August is when everyone suddenly remembers their Experience vouchers they got for Christmas. So you'll be looking at a lot of whiplash injuries and detatched retinas from zorbing, facial burns and champagne cork injuries from hot air balloon rides, that sort of thing. Last week in August is when everyone does something educational with their kids to make sure that's what they talk about when they go back to school. So you'll have kids who've fallen off Roman Ruins, poison ivy from family walks and teens with migraines caused by sudden exposure to daylight. Good luck!

This thread is genius! You’re a very wise man, Barry. Your missus is lucky to have you. Thanks for sharing your knowledge with us gals

Mrs Barry knows Even Philip, she says even he thinks she should LTB? Don't know what she means by that, you girls seem to have your own language.

wildflowers My condolences to your husband! Mrs Barry and I have been there many a time, and there you have your answer. The car industry and the car repair industry are two sides of the same coin. They could of course make a car that ran forever and never needed repairs, but where's the money in that? The petrol/diesel conundrum makes the garages millions every year. Make the most of it while you can, they're flooding the market with electric cars now, so there'll be three types of fuel to confuse you!

Right girls, I am going to have to love you and leave you for a few days, as Mrs Barry hasn't been seeing nearly as much of me as she'd like recently. I'm taking her off on a surprise caravan trip to Rhyl tomorrow, for our anniversary (it's a surprise because she thinks we're off to Rome, bless her). No screens rule in the Barrymobile, otherwise she'll spend all her time on here! Lord knows what she finds to talk about.

Don't forget me, ladies!

This is the funniest thing I've read in ages

@mnhq do you still have classics? Because this and the accomoanying one are genius 😄

Have fun in Rhyl Barry & Mrs Barry.

Why is Barry such a funny name? It's even funnier than Kevin.

Barry....do you own Barry Island or was it named after you for services to general knowledge and education?

Fantastic 👏🏼

At last! A thread I can ask a question and know I'm getting a proper answer.

In the post by ShirleyPhallus (hi Shirley! Please excuse me for borrowing your post) what does the light brown square 🏼 mean?

[Genuine, gold-plated question. I've seen it on other threads but have been wary of disrupting them. I've Gone and Ogled but the answers didn't make much sense. So here I am on a thread started by my new hero ( I've lost all interest in Richard Osman since considering Barry and his Readers Digest leartherette-bound books) inviting questions! Could I BE* any more Chandler!?]

I mean: Could I be any more excited?
(I sometimes get "Friends" and real life muddled up)

*To me. They may be barnstormingly obvious to most people.

**I know yours are leather, Barry. But leartherette has that extra.... fisson.
Ooh.

@lamarschallin the light brown square sometimes appears when you use ios emojis instead of the MN ones. I put an applause emoji and it added the brown square as well, I guess cos it doesn’t support all emojis. Think this happens elsewhere too

@ShirleyPhallus
Thank you!
I've seen it a lot (and often, on reflection, associated with "hand" emojis: hand claps, thumbs up etc) and didn't want to derail some other threads by asking what it means.
Google went on about skin tone, which didn't seem to mesh with how I've seen it used.

I thought maybe since Barry had asked for questions...............

Ooh! Barry.........

.........hang on...........

.....ooh my gusset.......

Ahem!

Sorry.

I'm a bit taken by Barry.

Anyway. It seemed a good place to ask.

[Seriously it's an odd random thing to appear and I don't get it.]

But ❤Barry❤ will know!

Just leaving this here (if attachment works).

Barry, a porter you say, I have a feeling I may have met you, in a previous employment...

Do you perchance wear a duffel coat over scrubs and carry a briefcase containing lettuces stolen from a field on your way in to work?

I remember one v-e-r-y long discussion on "why girls should really NOT do orthopaedics as they're just not that good with DIY and power tools, and how avocados are fat free as they don't contain butter.."

I miss those days!

That scones thing sounds almost plausible...

I can't believe I actually googled it

Are you actually Barry? Or are you the MN poster formerly known @Snotblower (who was driven to screaming down the phone and started the thread linked in the original post) asking the actual Barry and relaying his answers? Or @Snotblower parodying Barry? Or a completely different MN's poster parodying Barry?

I'm so confused!

Hello ladies! I am back, feeling very well rested and refreshed. What a lovely few days - fair old bit of rain, so we had lots of time to sit in the caravan and chat. Such a good listener, is Mrs Barry. She's gone off now to stay with her sister for a few days, something about needing space, which I can understand as it was a bit cramped in the van. Especially after I've had a big Sunday pub roast and a few pints of Guinness! I can see you've been thinking hard in my absence, so I will have read through now!

How are you going to amuse yourself Barry ?

Welcome back BTW !

I thought the brown square was some sort of Elastoplast emoji .
Barry , do you know about the brown square upthread ?

iklboo Much as I would love to own Barry Island (and even more to have an island named after me, what an honour) I will sadly have to settle for the many little Barries named after me by the ladies whose lives I've touched over the years.

Barry Island is short for Lucky Barry Island. Why? For the answer to that, I must ask you to travel back with me to Victorian times. In those days, wealthy Victorians ate a diet that revolved around meat, eggs and pastry. This often led to what was then known as 'congestion of the bowels'. People suffering from that affliction would travel to the Welsh coast for a health cure. Mr Barrald Bevin (ancestor of Aneurin Bevin, as a matter of fact) opened Lucky Barry's sanitarium and Spa, where the rich would dine on potato skins, seaweed preparations and other high fibre staples of a poor Welsh farmer's diet. In no time at all, their digestive tracts would be operating smoothly once more. His clientele were so grateful that they named two things after him. One being the fabled Lucky Barry itself, and the other being Barry Island!