I'm Barry, AMA

[JesusInTheCabbageVan]

Hi there girls (or should I say ladies, I know how 'PC' you lot are).

I hear you have some questions for me? Well go ahead, I won't bite - unless you want me to, of course

Link here

Do you think the planet is doomed Barry or shouldn’t I worry my pretty little head about such things?

Barry , which male person do you admire or ask advice ?
Which female person do you admire or ask advice ?
( apologies to the rest of Mumsnet regarding male / female categories, I can't get my head around the growing list )

Barry , would you pay on first date ?

Anne You need to identify and deal with the 'queen weed', and then all the rest will die off naturally. To kill the queen weed, you need to attack quickly and spontaneously from a distance as the sporing part will send out more queen spores if it perceives a threat. Fill a milk bottle with petrol, stuff a rag in the top and throw it from a distance of about 20 metres (get your husband to do it if you can't throw). Then, once the flames have died down, you need to dig out the underground tendrils - they usually extend for about 10 metres straight down, so you may need to hire some earth moving equipment. Once you're 100% confident you've removed the tendrils, fill the hole with more petrol and light it (you might want to stand back for this part).

And I don't want to be rude about Mars now she and I are special friends, but given the whisky fumes, I REALLY don't think it was the twerking that made her fall over last Saturday night....

Bah! Another attempt to press your suit with Barry.

I am so unused to drinking that the mere sniff of the schooner of Babycham I'd poured (purely for Dutch courage purposes) sent me reeling...

(LaMars fears her nose might grow longer, a thing it can ill afford).

Oh! There's a point.
Why is it Dutch courage, Barry?
Anything to do with Dutch caps?
Whatever they are...

iklboo those won't be sycamores, those sound to me like Sicilian Elbow weeds, which are actually highly toxic. I'm afraid your only option is to report the matter to the appropriate Government department, and they will arrange a contained local firebomb.

Raining I have been asked to enter on many occasions, but Mrs Barry (for all her good qualities) is not terribly graceful, and would certainly not be pleased to see me dancing with another female partner!

moomin Mrs Barry tries, bless her. I sometimes give her a friendly nudge in the ribs if one of my more sophisticated efforts goes over her head, just so she knows to laugh.

Favourite joke, here's a topical one: An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walked into a bar. Then the Englishman wanted to leave, so they all had to go.

Barry, you know how to tell ' em !

user yes dear, I'm afraid it is, because eventually the sun will expand even if nothing else goes wrong in the meantime. Try to be positive though: everyone likes sunshine! This will just be like an extra, particularly sunny day.

Barry , travelling through airports is my idea of hell . Do you have any ideas that will improve my and everyone's experience?