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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL drinking 'concern'

187 replies

Becc91 · 03/08/2026 21:36

So, bit of a long one..
Currently on holiday in Devon with DH, DS ,DD and, ILs. After what I thought was a lovely family meal (paid for by me, ofc 🙄) my charming MIL pulled me aside to express her "concerns".
Apparently my couple of gin and tonics is getting "out of hand" and is 'setting a bad example' for my daughter. To make matters worse my DS then chimed in and called me embarassing!! 😲
Feel totally humiliated and demoralised when i've put a lot of effort into organising -and paying for- this holiday. Can't look MIL in the eye and DH doesn't understand why I'm upset.
AIBU to enjoy my holiday the way I want???

OP posts:
PiggieWig · 03/08/2026 21:39

How old is DS?

Beachbeach · 03/08/2026 21:40

How many drinks how old are the kids

Sortingmyself · 03/08/2026 21:40

Yanbu.
2 x GnT's - is that it? All day? How old are the kids?
Unless the 2 drinks turned you into a slurring arse who was rude or caused a problem at dinner, I'd tell your MIL not to worry...whilst pouring yourself another!

40notouttoday · 03/08/2026 21:41

How many drinks did you have? What's the concern? How were you embarrassing? Not enough info for an informed ate you being unreasonable.

If you're sinking 10 G&TS and dancing on the tables I think she's right to pull you. A few drinks on hols with a meal, happy days!

faithfultoGeorgeMichael · 03/08/2026 21:42

That's not a long post and 2 G&Ts is quite fine on holiday - unless it is 2 bottles 😂 stop apologising for everything and don't accept being treated like shit. How old is DS? He needs a bollocking for a start.

AhBiscuits · 03/08/2026 21:42

Have you been getting drunk or just having a couple of drinks?

Wherestheteenguide · 03/08/2026 21:44

Don't know how old MIL is but whilst mine is fine about alcohol she always picks me up on it if I had gin. It wasn't called mother's ruin for nowt. Think that image has stuck with some older folks.

Original poster
Becc91 · 03/08/2026 21:44

PiggieWig · 03/08/2026 21:39

How old is DS?

DS is 20. old enough to think he knows better 😖

OP posts:
likeitshard · 03/08/2026 21:45

Assuming you weren’t drunk just ignore her and if she does it again say “relax Grandma we are on holiday “ !!
id have a word with your son too about his manners. And I’d be clear to dh if it happens again he needs to tell her to wind her neck in!!
If this is typical for her I’d be less inclined to treat her next time

Pistachiocake · 03/08/2026 21:45

Have your kids been saying something to her? It sounds like she's concerend about what your son has said. Not justifying how she did it, but has she/a partner of hers had drinking problems, especially that affected her kid?
But if none of this applies, you and your husband together should say to her that it's fine, and that if she's not comfortable being around you drinking, that's her right but she shouldn't come again.

ColdAsAWitches · 03/08/2026 21:47

Is this going to be the same as the concerned sister thread from a couple of days ago? Everything starts perfectly reasonable but the OP is a drunken alcoholic mess a couple of hours later?

Original poster
Becc91 · 03/08/2026 21:49

Beachbeach · 03/08/2026 21:40

How many drinks how old are the kids

It would've been about 4, between late afternoon and early evening.

OP posts:
Beachbeach · 03/08/2026 21:51

Becc91 · 03/08/2026 21:49

It would've been about 4, between late afternoon and early evening.

Show quote history

That is a fair few and its spirits. If your kids are teens probs not so much of an issue. If you have small kids I probably agree with your MIL

BMW58 · 03/08/2026 21:52

How much do you drink and how often?

Your 20 year old son has expressed concern - what is this based on?

Hohofortherobbers · 03/08/2026 21:53

Their reactions seem at odds with the drinking you describe. Either they are both overreacting or you are in denial. None of us can tell which is true.

fuchsteufelswild · 03/08/2026 21:56

Why did your son chime in to call you embarrassing, did he agree with MIL? Is he concerned?

It's 4 is out of the ordinary as special occasion I'd just tell her (ETA and son) off.

superchick · 03/08/2026 22:01

How much does your DH drink? Is your MIL and DS berating him as well? Or is it only women (and mothers specifically) that arent allowed to do anything to enjoy themselves?

ByNeatRoseMember · 03/08/2026 22:02

i think the problem is that you want to relax on what is your holiday but you are in a family friendly environment so it’s compromise. But MIL should just shut up and compromise too

pizzaHeart · 03/08/2026 22:04

likeitshard · 03/08/2026 21:45

Assuming you weren’t drunk just ignore her and if she does it again say “relax Grandma we are on holiday “ !!
id have a word with your son too about his manners. And I’d be clear to dh if it happens again he needs to tell her to wind her neck in!!
If this is typical for her I’d be less inclined to treat her next time

This^ covers everything

ByNeatRoseMember · 03/08/2026 22:06

Yes - what is husband doing or saying?

Besidemyselfwithworry · 03/08/2026 22:06

I’d not be repeating this holiday ever again and why are you paying for everyone else if they’re all adults?

Shinyandnew1 · 03/08/2026 22:08

You paid for the whole holiday?

’I’m sorry you feel like that, Sue. We will holiday just our little family in future’

She can get stuffed!

GOATYOAT · 03/08/2026 22:10

4 gins would probably be too many for me in one sitting- I’d certainly be a bit merry!

SallySue87 · 03/08/2026 22:12

GOATYOAT · 03/08/2026 22:10

4 gins would probably be too many for me in one sitting- I’d certainly be a bit merry!

You’re clearly not a party girl 😂

AlohaRose · 03/08/2026 22:13

What does about 4 gins between late afternoon and early evening actually mean? Do you mean 4 (or 5 or 6?) gins over a maximum two hour period?

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