MIL drinking 'concern'

How many drinks did your DH have? Also it’s a holiday. 4 is not many.

Paying for the picnic is an entirely separate issue to whether your MIL was overreacting to your drinking or not.

You can't pay family to not say things you don't want to hear.

But as others have said, there's nowhere near enough information to know if you or she was BU.

Your pissed off reaction is absolutely classic for people who actually have a problematic relationship with alcohol.

Sounds ridiculous and your DH should have backed you up.

Hang on

First you said two over dinner

Then 4 between late afternoon and early evening. Are those 4 x 25ml pub singles? Or 4 served at home fairly large doubles (probably more like a pub triple)?

Late afternoon - 4? Til early evening -6pm? Even 4 pub singles in 90 minutes or 2 hours seems like a fair amount to me. Was there wine with dinner then?

You're being a big vague and defensive in a way that suggests their criticism might have a point.

Four pub measure single gins or "mixed at home" measures? I think the latter sounds pretty heavy for a family meal. It might also depend if your MiL tends to stick her nose into other people's business frequently. Is your DH refusing to be drawn in because he agrees with her?

You said probably 4. So, you don’t actually know how much you had or you’re telling us a lower number with the “about.”
Your MiL has felt the need to bring up your drinking and your son says you were embarrassing.

Those 3 things together do suggest that you may be drinking too much. Have a real think about it and be honest about how much you drank.

It could also be nonsense - MIL being a judgemental cow, your son being the big headed know it all they can be at that age. Only you really know, so you need to be honest with yourself.

So "a couple" has become "about four". Which probably means five.

I was about to post in your support, but four (or five) is pushing it for late afternoon out with family.

Keep asking MIL why it’s ok that her son has had so many more and it’s not an issue for her. Ask her if she is embarrassed that he had to go for a lie down after his and not scoalise with the family

Well that time period could be only an hour or two!

Are you all in a pub or restaurant so pub measures or is this at your accommodation so free pour?

Why didn't your DH back you up? Has your drinking caused any issues before?

I’d he telling her very clearly that if she wants to talk to you about drinking then she needs to go and speak to her son, and how dare she target you when he drinks more.

But you still need to pay attention. If you and your husband drink like this often, then does she have a point? It’s so easy to let it run away with itself and have two or three drinks, a few times a week, every week, always. Occasionally on a holiday? Fine. But if this is consistent behaviour then be careful.

What do you mean by "me time"?? Having a wank???

I’m not a gin drinker, and I’m not on holiday, but I came home tonight with a bottle of vodka and now my DS (22) is as pissed as I am. I’d be furious if my child (any of them, I have more) were judging what I want to do on my day-off-eve let alone when I’m on holiday.

I have the type of relationship with my MIL that means she can fuck off with her opinion before she starts with it.

If you’re not drinking from when you wake up (my MIL), head butting people, have work tomorrow, cheating on your partner when in an advanced state of refreshment, drinking without abandon daily, turning into a cunt when drinking (again my MIL) then being a bit liberal when on holiday is not really an issue.

I think my concern over my MIL’s opinion is probably quite clear from my post but I’d be devastated if my child chose to back her bullshit up. Where is your DS’s concern coming from?

Is that what you do for me time? I usually read a book or zone out watching tiktok.

Do you mean he was so drunk he needed a lie down - possibly before drinking more at dinner?

Lol no 😂 but I don't think I've ever heard a bloke taking "me time"

Were you drinking from those huge fish bowl like glasses OP? Could that be what they are commenting on?

Your life, your choices as long as you aren’t driving 🍸

How many is a couple? Why does DS say it’s embarrassing?

MIL could be an exaggerating cow or could have a point. Depends.

Sorry so now I see you’ve said 4. That’s not a couple by definition so you’ve already played it down on here for some reason. 4 singles or 4 doubles? Or hand measures which are often triples? Are you slurring or acting off. Will you be hungover?

Be careful OP my ex was having a lot of “me time” and it wasn’t exactly PG…!

Not MiLs place to say anything. But if my 20 year old son and his Grandma both thought I'd made a show of myself, I'd probably have a little think about whether I might have done.

Was your DH sleeping / napping because he’d been drinking earlier too? All sounds like quite a boozy afternoon.

I’ve got no problem with that occasionally, but tipsy folk can boring / annoying and others you’re on hols with clearly feel uncomfortable. So I’d look to tone it down tomorrow. Start drinking later, have one or two fewer drinks.

You are well within your rights to have a few gins on your holiday. Tell mil to shove off and have a word with your son about being more respectful.

So you're paying for the holiday and paid for the meal and can't have a few drinks? Unless your DD is about 10 I'd tell them all to sod off and pay for their own holiday in future. I don't care if you were rip roaring drunk, she shouldn't have spoken to you like that when her darling son was upstairs doing whatever the hell he was doing.

My DS would probably chime in with a smart arse comment too - similar age to yours - just because he would think he was being funny. I'm quite sure that you are capable of policing your own alcohol consumption.

So what if she was tipsy and boring? She's on holiday and presumably not there to be the entertainment. The others don't seem to be so uncomfortable that they won't accept her hospitality.

Personally I’d tell her to mind her own business, you are on holiday and if you want to have 2,4, 6 or 8 gins then so be it! It’s your choice.

I also wouldn’t be holidaying with people who criticise me or call me embarrassing just because I’m enjoying myself on holiday and that includes ds.