MIL drinking 'concern'

Maybe she's worried about you both but feels she can't talk to her son about something tricky to say as easily as you.

She may have a point though.

What did MIL actually say concerned her about your alcohol consumption?
What was your adult DS embarrassed about specifically?
At first you said "a couple" then "about 4" drinks that seems a bit vague and may be minimising.
Have good look at wether either of them have a point,did you drink more than you thought,did the amount you drank have effects that others noticed that you didnt?
Do you drink regularly ?
What do you think your MIL and DS would say if they were telling this story?

You may or may not be drinking too much.

Your MiL may or may not be a kind woman who is concerned for you. Or conversely may be a wicked old harridan, hell bent on spoiling your fun.

Your son may or may not be an interfering nuisance. Or he may be a decent lad who has been embarrassed by your behaviour.

We cant helpfully comment.

Only you know if you are drinking too much for a family gathering.

If I were you I’d ask myself is MiL normally judgemental, is my son often prone to criticism towards me?

If not, they both care a lot about you.
Today is another day. Take it on the chin and enjoy your holiday.

A bit of context is needed. Just as the previous crazy thread about sisters attitude to drinking - it is hard to comment without knowing how much the OP usually drinks, what everyone else was drinking and if this resulted in any behavior change.

four drinks in a couple of hours sounds a lot to me - I do drink on family outings, although if I am at family meals with baby grandchildren I am now sticking to one small beer.

So can you please provide more info - and enjoy your holiday.

Hmmm… as the daughter of an alcoholic who was routinely made uncomfortable by his drinking at family events, I would have an honest look at your drinking and ask yourself if it might be painful and unpleasant for them.

Yes you are on holiday and yes its not really MIL’s place to tell you what to do. Who’s paid for it is irrelevant. You don’t get to override other people’s concerns about your health just because you are spending the money.

Obviously none of us were there. But if my child had indicated that they were uncomfortable with my drinking I wouldn’t dismiss it out of hand.

And I do think four G&Ts on a fairly average holiday evening is a bit excessive. Are you doing that every day?

Doubles? That would be normal.

And "about 4" doesn't meant 4, does it, it means you lost count.

So probably at least 10 shots of gin, 10 units in a few hours, far too much.

It depends on how much you actually drank and how it affected your behaviour. Between late afternoon and early evening could be quite a short amount of time so 4 drinks could be a lot.

I think it would be unusual for a 20 year old son to complain about a parent’s drinking unless it was actually excessive. Why would he say that otherwise?

More stats
Women face a heightened vulnerability to alcohol-induced brain damage and related cognitive decline compared to men. 1, 2]
Young-onset vulnerability: Excessive drinking in mid-life puts women at a distinct risk for early-onset alcohol-related brain damage before age 65. 1]

I took it as having a lie down because he’d been drinking from early on, so not sure why your mind would go there 😁

Must be nice to be clairvoyant.

Is there more to this, OP? Usually it takes a lot for someone to make such a personal remark (although I appreciate MILs are the worst of the worst on MN!) so it may be out of genuine concern...How many alcoholics have said they wished someone had raised their concerns before it got so bad..?
If people are noticing then maybe it's a bigger issue than you are prepared to realise. Yes, it's embarrassing but it may be the cue you need to seek help.
Of course you may just be enjoying yourself on holiday and people are overreacting!

ONS data show males aged over 100 rose 50 per cent in a decade while females increased by only 17 per cent. This is driven in part by lower smoking and drinking alcohol rates.

The issue isn’t with it being over the weekly amount as a one off. But over 6 units in one session is considered binge drinking which has its own negative effects. If you then waited until the next weekend and had another 6+ units (3 pints or 2 large wines) then that’s another binge and you’re technically in the classic binge drinkers cycle which is linked to long term organ damage and mental health issues

I remember that thread but I’m puzzled as to why you’ve posted it - is it in support of OP or her son ? Both threads deal with alcohol, but not in an everyday setting - the former was a girls’ night at Christmas, and this one is a holiday setting - most people l know drink more on holiday and at Christmas than they do normally, so it’s not really a fair comparison. OP could indeed have an alcohol problem that her son is embarrassed by, but he could just as easily be a judgemental fun sponge given the circumstances in both instances.

How much do you normally drink?

Were you drinking the rest of the noliday to? I think the factor your ds said something makes me wonder if there is more to this story than your saying. Are you mouthy with booze? Rude or annoying? Do you pick fights?

The million dollar question 😁

4 G&T in 2 hours

Husband drunk upstairs

Son says you're embarrassing

I think MIL has a point

But again, the ‘quite a bit of drinking’ doesn’t appear to be in an everyday setting, so doesn’t give an indication of how much OP drinks normally outside of ‘occasions’. Obviously we can only go on what OP tells us, but it would appear that DH drinks just as much as OP, but MiL doesn’t feel the need to comment.

My inlaws (82) lead us astray on holiday by suggesting lunchtime wine.

Four single pub measures of gin wouldn't be enough to make most people noticeably drunk and embarrassing. You said four drinks is a lot. Four large (250ml) glasses of wine would be way worse. That would be 1 bottle plus 1/3 of a bottle and 3 x the number of units.

@ThreadGuardDog
Perhaps because alcohol affects women more than men.
Women face a heightened vulnerability to alcohol-induced brain damage and related cognitive decline compared to men. 1, 2]
Young-onset vulnerability: Excessive drinking in mid-life puts women at a distinct risk for early-onset alcohol-related brain damage before age 65. 1]