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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL drinking 'concern'

187 replies

Becc91 · 03/08/2026 21:36

So, bit of a long one..
Currently on holiday in Devon with DH, DS ,DD and, ILs. After what I thought was a lovely family meal (paid for by me, ofc 🙄) my charming MIL pulled me aside to express her "concerns".
Apparently my couple of gin and tonics is getting "out of hand" and is 'setting a bad example' for my daughter. To make matters worse my DS then chimed in and called me embarassing!! 😲
Feel totally humiliated and demoralised when i've put a lot of effort into organising -and paying for- this holiday. Can't look MIL in the eye and DH doesn't understand why I'm upset.
AIBU to enjoy my holiday the way I want???

OP posts:
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MyballsareSandy2015 · Today 08:36

Love a bottomless brunch with my DDs 🥂

Muffsies · 06/08/2026 10:21

2chocolateoranges · 06/08/2026 08:51

I go out drinking with mine! They are both over 18, dh and I had a couple of drinks around our children when they were younger, we didn’t want them to see it as a bad thing, but a normal part of life that some people partake in.

my father was an alcoholic so alcohol was deeply frowned upon in my family. Sibling is one too, thankfully I can take it or leave it but do enjoy a few on holiday.

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My 23yo son will bring me a beer and we'll watch youtube together. Sometimes i'm even 'allowed' to go to his snooker club and drink and play pool with him & his friends.

I'd rather teach my son how to have a few drinks and enjoy himself in family company, than leave it to some bellends down the pub to potentially get him into bad habits.

2chocolateoranges · 06/08/2026 08:51

Cherrytree86 · 04/08/2026 12:26

A mother should never drink alcohol in front of her children

I go out drinking with mine! They are both over 18, dh and I had a couple of drinks around our children when they were younger, we didn’t want them to see it as a bad thing, but a normal part of life that some people partake in.

my father was an alcoholic so alcohol was deeply frowned upon in my family. Sibling is one too, thankfully I can take it or leave it but do enjoy a few on holiday.

dh280125 · 06/08/2026 02:46

Beachbeach · 03/08/2026 21:51

That is a fair few and its spirits. If your kids are teens probs not so much of an issue. If you have small kids I probably agree with your MIL

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A fair few? OMG. What has happened to make the world so puritanical. I'm in an office with a free bar. I expect to start drinking at 4pm and then more at a family dinner tonight. This thread has inspired me!

Cherrytree86 · 05/08/2026 20:19

jeaux90 · 05/08/2026 10:53

Just a mother or father too? (YABU BTW)

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I’m joking of course, I would sincerely hope no one genuinely thinks such drivel!

jeaux90 · 05/08/2026 10:53

Cherrytree86 · 04/08/2026 12:26

A mother should never drink alcohol in front of her children

Just a mother or father too? (YABU BTW)

Magicpaintbrush · 04/08/2026 18:17

I'm on holiday right now OP and working my way through a vodka and coke after the year from hell - sod it. Life is too short - it really truly is.

Thingcanonlygetbetter · 04/08/2026 18:17

Becc91 · 03/08/2026 21:49

It would've been about 4, between late afternoon and early evening.

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On your holidays, 4 drinks. If it was everyday that’s a different story, but on your holidays. I would be fuming

Magicpaintbrush · 04/08/2026 18:14

I would be SO pissed off if anyone tried to police my drinking on holiday! Normal 'rules' don't apply on holiday. Unless you are being obnoxious or puking on the floor - which it doesn't sound like you are - then I would tell your MIL and DS to mid their own bloody business. You are a grown woman, not a child, drink what you want.

ThreadGuardDog · 04/08/2026 18:14

outerspacepotato · 04/08/2026 18:06

He was passed out upstairs.

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🤣🤣🤣

outerspacepotato · 04/08/2026 18:06

ThreadGuardDog · 04/08/2026 17:49

Given that DH was also the worse for starting to drink earlier than OP, why wasn’t he ‘pulled aside’ ?

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He was passed out upstairs.

ThreadGuardDog · 04/08/2026 17:49

RockinCara · 04/08/2026 11:15

If two members of your family that are with you on the holiday have commented, there is probably some truth in what they’re saying. And it doesn’t sound like your mil tried to embarrass you, she discretely pulled you aside. So I’d reflect on it personally before starting a fall out.

Given that DH was also the worse for starting to drink earlier than OP, why wasn’t he ‘pulled aside’ ?

ThreadGuardDog · 04/08/2026 17:45

TFImBackIn · 04/08/2026 14:30

Judging by your other threads, your son likes to tell you what to do, doesn't he?

What happened about the Korean baby?

Was that the one where DS wanted himself and his pregnant Korean girlfriend to move in with OP and all live as one happy family, despite both being at uni and having no means of supporting the baby ? I’d only read the one where DS came home from uni at Christmas and wasn’t best pleased to find his mum having a girlie night with her friends - wasn’t backward about telling her so in front of them either. He does sound a fun sponge - not to mention entitled.

Isitevensummer · 04/08/2026 16:41

MIL-"I am on holiday and have drunk more than usual but am not sure why 4 drinks have triggered this level of concern. Can you explain exactly what you are concerned about? What have you seen me say or do that concerns you?". Then address them clearly and calmly (unless you are getting drunk every day, in which case it's time to switch to no alcoholic drinks.

DS - "I won't tolerate rudeness from you. In future keep your opinions about my behaviour to yourself. If you don't like that, let's agree you won't come away with us again."

Muffsies · 04/08/2026 14:45

Becc91 · 03/08/2026 22:32

Just to clear this up, DH was having some me time upstairs in our bedroom -having started drinking earlier than me- but obviously MIL doesn't have a bad word to say about him and he said he "just wants to keep the peace" 🙄

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Was your son or MIL clear about exactly what it was they found embarassing? Were you and dh being a bit rowdy, too loud, or silly?

I'd tell your MIL to take it up with her son if she has a problem - you're enjoying your holiday and you don't answer to her. Do not let yourself be cowed in front of your son - it's affecting his respect for you.

Lexy2345 · 04/08/2026 14:35

Tell her to jog on, you’re on holiday.

willitevergetwarm · 04/08/2026 14:32

Cherrytree86 · 04/08/2026 12:26

A mother should never drink alcohol in front of her children

hahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa

Are you the poster that doesn't like her neighbours in a bikini in their own garden drinking and having fun

TFImBackIn · 04/08/2026 14:30

Judging by your other threads, your son likes to tell you what to do, doesn't he?

What happened about the Korean baby?

TFImBackIn · 04/08/2026 14:17

If you had totally spoiled the meal for everyone, that would be different, though it doesn't sound like that.

I would tell your son and your MIL to make the most of this holiday as it's the last you'll all be going on together.

Isittimeformynapyet · 04/08/2026 14:09

Cherrytree86 · 04/08/2026 12:26

A mother should never drink alcohol in front of her children

Normal, unproblematic, moderate drinkers? Even I, as an alcoholic enjoying my sobriety, think you are being ridiculous.

Daftypants · 04/08/2026 14:08

2 single gin + tonics with / before dinner is barely worth mentioning ( and I’m teetotal )
4 large ( generous doubles ) during a relatively short time frame is a lot .
What isn’t fair is that she’s picking on you , not your husband

Tillow4ever · 04/08/2026 14:01

As an aside, why is your son with you on holiday? Your post in December said he presented you with a positive pregnancy test which means he either has a heavily pregnant girlfriend right now that he’s left behind, or a baby that’s just a few weeks old.

Enoughofpeopleenough · 04/08/2026 13:52

Cherrytree86 · 04/08/2026 12:26

A mother should never drink alcohol in front of her children

Rubbish. The child is 20 but even if they were younger it's fine to drink in front of your child. It does sound like the op needs to look at their drinking but honestly your statement is nuts.

sparklesaucer · 04/08/2026 13:06

moonraker0 · 04/08/2026 10:58

How have you come to that conclusion? I genuinely can’t see anything that suggests he finds her drunk on a regular basis.

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Then why is she posting about it so much? this isnt her only thread on the topic.

harriethoyle · 04/08/2026 13:03

Cherrytree86 · 04/08/2026 12:26

A mother should never drink alcohol in front of her children

Hahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaa!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂