MIL drinking 'concern'

LOL calm down, I was referring entirely to the OP, no need to make it all about your own drinking habits, which I obviously know nothing about and care about even less.

Comparing two different numbers that the OP supplied is hardly an accountancy-level “totting up”. And you’re the only person calling the OP a lush. What others (including apparently the MIL) have said is that she could possibly slow down a bit lest she give her kids the idea that sinking four drinks in a couple of hours and getting sloppy is a good way to drink.

And I stand by my opinion that splashing money around doesn’t mean nobody is allowed to say anything about how you behave.

LOL calm down, nothing in your response was actually relevant anyway, as the points I made were accurate.

You attempted to claim it was irrelevant if the mil had taken a freebie holiday and then tried to humiliate the OP while on the freebie holiday.

I explained why you were wrong. YW.

Do you drink 8 units in an afternoon on the regular?

or was this a rare occasion so you have less tolerance for it?

As a rare occurrence id say it’s not an issue.

on the regular and urs affecting your home life and work life and having adverse consequences - it’s an issue.

I assume a lot of this is bound up in your MIL's old fashioned and sexist ideas about drinking/decorum/what's right and proper about 'ladies' and alcohol. Note how she said you were setting a bad example to your daughter, yet nothing seems to have been said about your husband's example to his son.

Were you visibly drunk and acting that way?

It's a well known phenomenon that people consistently use the phrase "a couple of drinks" when theyve been absolutely trashed or done something illegal after drinking alcohol. I am not suggesting you have done this, OP, just that the linguistic term "a couple" is literally a well known phrase that is often used to mask far more than 2.

Of course on holiday you are perfectly entitled to drink alcohol and let your hair down but if more than one person is noticing how its affecting you then I would be considering there's a bit more to it. Why would your son call you embarrassing if your behaviour was completely normal? it doesnt make sense.

If you are acting like you are pissed then it really doesnt matter how many you've had does it?- it's still clearly more than you can handle and you should probably pace yourself more and reign it in a bit.

Why on earth would you a) invite your MIL and FIL on holiday and b) pay for them? It's obviously not the first time she has displayed behaviour like that.

Tell her that if she is upset by you having a couple of drinks, she is welcome to leave and go home. The fact that their son has been drinking more than you with no judgemental remarks from her makes it clear that she obviously enjoys goading you.

Maybe he is actually concerned. 4 drinks is a lot.

I would be telling both MIL and son that this is how you holiday and if they don’t like it a) they should go home b) they will not be invited again. I have to say I’d be tearing a strip off DS for sticking his oar in…

no it's not unreasonable to enjoy your holiday.

no one knows the situation, but as you present it, your family are being rude and ungrateful.

if they were genuinely concerned about your boozing then they should raise it in a more thoughtful way.

personally I'm pleased to have given up, as in retrospect I don't think it brings anything positive. maybe knock it on the head in the future

I don’t think 4 drinks is a lot. If I’m on holiday I could easily have a couple with lunch and a couple with dinner and I’d be nowhere near drunk or even “merry”.
And in that situation, if my family behaved as yours have, they’d be given short shrift.
But perhaps you were drunk op? I can’t tell from your post why DS called you embarrassing. What he just being a dick or were you a bit worse for wear?

Stand up for yourself. And tell your DH to get a backbone too and have your back.
Your DS needs a word with. Interesting that your MIL didn’t have a word with your DH….next time her double standards emerge I’d ask her “where your internalised misogyny comes from”….”I do not appreciate being criticised on my holiday” just find some words you are comfortable with.

What was you doing that could have embarrassed members of your family?

This is beside the by but gin genuinely doesn’t make me drunk, at least not in the same way wine does. I feel really fresh with gin and sound of mind, it just doesn’t have much effect on me… I always drink it at professional events for this reason.

That aside, 2 G&T’s is fuck all and they’re judgemental bastards. Tell them to pay for their own damn meals.

I don’t drink alcohol anymore. Not for years and I never drank much. Everytime I have a check up at the GPs they warn strongly against drinking alcohol. Alcohol kills brain cells. There is no safe amount. It is a leading cause of dementia. Most of my older friends have stopped drinking. It is too dangerous. I think I am right in saying youngsters have also stopped drinking alcohol. I will try and find the statistics.

Okay, so not 'a couple of gin and tonics' then? And it sounds like you might still be downplaying exactly how much you drank.

Were any of them home poured measures before you went out? Or all pub/restaurant measures?

I'd have been prepared to dismiss your MILs comment as sanctimonious, but if your son said you were embarrassing then you were probably embarrassing. And a lot more sloshed than you realised. That's not a crime, especially not on holiday but perhaps the time and the place was a bit inappropriate? A late night party, or a night out in the pub is one thing. Out for a relaxed dinner in the early evening with the family is not really the right setting for getting noticeably drunk.

I'm definitely closer to your age than your DS or MIL but you and your DH do sound embarrassing with the day drinking on a family holiday. Yes, even the family are all adults and even if you're paying.

I would not say anything, but I'd be thinking it. Would that be better? You seem focused on what your MIL said but I'd be wondering who else in my life thought my DH and I were embarrassing lushes.

The number of young people in the UK who have stopped drinking alcohol is rising all the time. A significantly large and growing number are choosing to be completely teetotal or cut back. Recent data shows that roughly 31% to 35% of young people aged 16 to 24 report drinking no alcohol at all in the past year, driven heavily by young men

Four drinks isn't necessarily a lot and shouldn't generally be a problem. It's enough to get merry but usually enough to get slaughtered.

But that depends how strong they were, depends on the OP's tolerance levels, depends on the time period they were consumed in, and it depends on the OP not downplaying the amount and 'about four' drinks was really six or seven. Or they were so strong that it was the equivalent of eight.

That aside, 2 G&T’s is fuck all and they’re judgemental bastards. Tell them to pay for their own damn meals.

I would agree but then the OP goes on to say it was actually "about 4". What does "about" mean?- "about" 4 could mean anything from 4 - 6 drinks or more 🤷‍♀️

So 4 gins would be 4 units, unless you were making them yourself and they could have been larger?

What does DS think was embarrassing?

@ImpossibleGermanyWell obviously. We know they were spirits.

That's a lot.