Torn perineum during sex. Can I have a handhold / hug? Very sore

(319 Posts)
Feelinglost006 Fri 22-Jan-21 05:01:30

Exactly that. I had sex at the weekend. Used a condom (Tesco brand and they seemed to go very dry very quickly anyone tempted by the cheaper price compared to durex and mates etc - DONT! they are truly awful and will leave you feeling red raw) added some water based lube and felt much more comfortable. Was a bit sting-y having a wee afterwards. Anyway that night I felt hot, sore throat, feverish. banging headache which has taken days to shift. Immediately booked a covid test (My job brings me into contact with covid cases) so wanted to be careful and make sure. Had the test monday, isolated and tuesday it came back negative.

my privates became more and more swollen and lots of sores which resemble ulcers appeared/ I have had several vaginal births and the pain of being torn and stitched after birth has got nothing on this. Feels like millions of tiny papercuts. Surprisingly no discharge or smell. So i began warm salt baths, I wear cotton underwear anyway as I cant tolerate anything synthetic down there. I got some sudocreme which didnt help at all so got some vagisil (lidocaine for the pain)

Its just got worse and worse. I can barely walk, hardly sit down, its red hot, hard and swollen and gone a green / yellow colour between my vagina and anus and I have ulcers all over. Managed to get a GP appt after 2 days waiting. Was examined as scared it might be herpes. They had difficulty in examining me its so bad and painful but DR said I have a considerable tear in the perineum and a couple of smaller splits / grazes which have sadly become infected. Also have a temperature due to the infection.

Been prescribed 7 days anti biotics , tramadol for pain and paracetomol plus 5% lidocaine instead of the 2% . The tramadol isnt touching the pain at all. tried codeine phosphate and paracetomol before that which also did nothing. I am getting shooting pains deep into my vagina, stinging pains where it feels like someones cutting me with a razor blade and it feels constantly wet and damp (its actually very dry down there but feels damp IYSWIM I am dapping the area when i use the loo and it now looks like a faintly bloody / watery/ dirty dischage on the paper (have to really look at the loo roll to see the change in colour. still no smell thankfully.

Just feeling very sorry for myself and wanted a bit of a virtual hug. I wasnt deliberately hurt, he put several fingers in me which I enjoy but i think with the dry condom and friction from that then fingers has caused it to tear. I didnt even notice at the time . Feel a bit mortfied really.

OP’s posts: |
Marshmallow91 Fri 22-Jan-21 05:05:30

Hugs. It sounds horrendous flowers

AwkwardAuntie Fri 22-Jan-21 05:07:56

Ouch. That sounds horrendous. Hope you feel better soon. Not gonna lie, OP...reading that has put me right off sex 😐

CaramelCup Fri 22-Jan-21 05:22:39

That sounds awful sad. How did you not notice at the time?

Just a thought, could you get some of that perineal spray you can use on tears after childbirth. They are meant to soothe the area. I used one called Bottoms Up. From boots. Has things like tea tree and natural antibiotic qualities. Just a thought. Hope you feel better soon.

Gingerkittykat Fri 22-Jan-21 05:26:49

flowers Ouch, that sounds horrific. I hope you start to heal soon.

FrostyFruit Fri 22-Jan-21 05:29:57

You could try putting witch hazel on a pad and put it in the fridge then put it on for a while to see if it helps soothe it, it's reccomended after childbirth. So sorry OP it sounds awful!

Crikeycroc Fri 22-Jan-21 05:31:05

Check that the ulcers have been swabbed by your GP. Often herpes is transmitted via a cut/abrasion in the skin during sex.

Chouxbuncity Fri 22-Jan-21 05:31:45

sad that sounds really awful. Did it not hurt at the time?

Chouxbuncity Fri 22-Jan-21 05:33:39

I think I would also echo the above comment and get tested for STDs at a GUM clinic as it sounds fairly unusual to me.

Feelinglost006 Fri 22-Jan-21 05:34:33

genuinely didnt notice at the time only that it felt a bit sore as I say the condoms were horrible and went bone dry very quickly . I wasnt drunk or anything like that and it was very much consensual and not rough or abusive. Guessing the friction getting too carried away with him then using several fingers has caused this. Just hoping it heals ok as (TMI) it feels like i am split wide open down there. I posted this as when I was looking on here for anything similar there wasnt much about perineal infection unless it was following a recent birth. I have had four large babies so maybe that area is weakened anyway i really dont know. Also sometimes get thrush (My work trousers rub sometimes)

OP’s posts: |
Feelinglost006 Fri 22-Jan-21 05:37:24

Yes the GP said once the anti biotics have had a couple of days to work and some of the swelling has gone down they want me to go and be swabbed / tested at my nearest GUM clinic to make sure theres nothing else going on which I will do as from hours looking online it does say people can have herpes lay dormant for years and then have a flare up after feeling run down (the week before last I was extrmely tired and run down - not eating as well as I should and sleepng alot due to long hours at work etc)

Thanks everyone x

OP’s posts: |
polkadotpixie Fri 22-Jan-21 05:40:42

Honestly that sounds like Herpes to me, my friend had the exact same and that's what it was. She was heartbroken at the time but has never had another flare up as bad as the first and has had 3 children since so it's not the end of the world

I'd try and get seen at a GUM clinic ASAP, they're the experts

Awwlookatmybabyspider Fri 22-Jan-21 05:46:23

Have you contacted manufacturers they may need to be recalled.
Massive hugs.

jackjackjacks Fri 22-Jan-21 06:08:51

Jesus that sounds horrendous. In addition to the anti bs and painkillers, have you tried an ice pack? I'm thinking one of those flexible ones that can be frozen or warmed. The cold will help soothe your angry bits.

Hope you feel better soon thanks

PurpleFlower1983 Fri 22-Jan-21 06:14:04

It sounds like Herpes OP, the first (normally worst) outbreak can cause fairly large abrasions that look like you have torn something down there. The ulcers are a classic sign, I very much doubt a condom would do the damage you are describing.

If it is, the first outbreak is usually the worst and can be calmed with acyclovir.

Thesagacontinues Fri 22-Jan-21 06:15:29

Sounds really sore, only thing I can add is that when I had my second child, the maternity had frozen some of those huge maternity pads and that helped to bring down the swelling and numb the pain.

NellWilsonsWhiteHair Fri 22-Jan-21 06:17:53

No advice or knowledge but ouch, that sounds so awful. I hope you get some relief soon.

WunWun Fri 22-Jan-21 06:26:38

I'm surprised the surgery let you in with a temperature. At mine they scan you at the door.

LapinR0se Fri 22-Jan-21 06:42:21

Have you had a herpes test?

ThatVeganFeminist Fri 22-Jan-21 06:42:42

That 100% sounds like herpes, I'm really sorry.

Bleepingpage Fri 22-Jan-21 06:50:41

I work in sexual health and would be most surprised if this isn't herpes. Get to a GUM clinic ASAP - you may need a prolonged course of aciclovir to clear this, and we need to swab ulcers while they are active. Warm salt baths can help, no creams apart from lidocaine (sudocrem spreads the infection). You need to know for sure if it's herpes, if you're planning kids this has implications for pregnancy. Sorry you're having a rough time OP.

Bleepingpage Fri 22-Jan-21 06:56:35

... We would see you urgently, we wouldn't want you to wait! As you correctly said above, herpes can lie dormant for a long time. So don't stress about the whys and hows - go visit your local GUM!!

lcdododo Fri 22-Jan-21 06:59:28

That's herpes...

DonLewis Fri 22-Jan-21 07:01:57

You poor thing, that sounds awful.

Wet a sanitary towel and freeze it. Put it in your knickers.

Yy to sti check. But whatever it is, hope you heal soon. flowers

ZaraTheWonderDog Fri 22-Jan-21 07:07:46

You poor poor love! I hope you get better soon. x

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in