Dating thread 152: onwards and upwards

[30somethingandsingle]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

30 haha I can remember doing the same to my STBXW not long after we'd got together and called her by my previous GF's name, it did kill the mood somewhat!

@30somethingandsingle 😂😂

Well I've been chatting to a few people on OkC and one has emerged as an iron, I'm going to call him MrTall. He wants to arrange a date, he seems really nice though I am slightly worried he could be a bit keen! ☺️ we shall see...

Date with Mr Tall on Friday. I hope I am not feeling too bruised from Mr Italian still. But Mr Tall does seem nice. And I think looks attractive (though it's slightly one of those where you are like one photo - 😀 and then another - 🤔

Hello. I posted a few threads ago (about 3 or 4 weeks) about a Bumble bloke. I’ll call him J. He’s 50 I’m 48. ticked lots of my boxes - works in emergency services (as I do) handsome , tall etc. Had two dates then he had a hissy fit when I said my friend knew of him. Disappeared. Reappeared a week later as though nothing had happened and I told him that I don’t like being stonewalled and that i had a meet planned with another Bumble -Mr Tree who lives a significant distance away. J was taken aback that I had a date and scoffed at the distance part.

Mr tree didn’t work out. Weeks of messaging then sexting (on his behalf) then he’s cooled. Whatever. 😡

Signed up for POF on Saturday and see J on there. Lots of pics. He matches with me so I swiped him. He messages and we start chatting again. He texts the next morning saying he fancied me etc. But mostly just ordinary chat.

So it’s a Bit on and off but I’m not chasing or trying to come across as too bothered. He still remembers my shift pattern and says he passes my work place often and looks out for me. Kinda think that’s a bit weird.

So tonight I’m standing with my colleagues at the transport stop when up walks J holding hands with a very nice looking Asian lady. He nods hello. I nod back. Get onto transport and stand near to him
To make him uncomfortable as I’m
Pretty miffed that he’s got a girlfriend and feel sorry for her . He even texts me after I’d got off /simply typing the number on my uniform. I haven’t replied.

But wtf? I’ve read the datinb rules and I know I’m naive, but he’s signed up for two dating apps and isnt single? Bumble & POF. Then deleting everything. Is this common?

Up your bum- only for a twat! Block x

upyer sorry he texted you the number on your uniform?? It might be he's sometimes one of those 'hold your hand after first date' blokes (yeugh) but yeah....the disappearing act is more likely girl freind....you tell him someone knows him and he retreats in terror in case she finds out. Douche canoe!

Yeah upyerbum he sounds like a total knob. Delete and don't give him a second thought, nothing good will come of it i do it think!

Morning all - place marking

@30somethingandsingle delete him. He's a mind fucker - getting the hump and disappearing, then coming back as if nothing had happened, flaunting his g in front of you and the texting you your number - mind fucker territory. Don't get drawn into his games. You won't win - he makes up the rules.

@JeSuisPrest I think you meant @Upyerbum70

@30somethingandsingle Sorry, yes I did 😳😂

I think I’m going to delete POF in a day or 2. I have a few irons who I will give my number too. Mr Teacher messaged me this morning to say sorry he hadn’t messaged much (I know it’s a busy time for teachers), also talking to a older man who is in the army, a bit older than I would like but he seems nice so I might give him my number before leaving. Still texting Mr Normal and trying to arrange a date. I’m just fed up with all the other messages I get from weirdos and disrespectful men, that on top of seeing Mr SA profile just makes me think that it’s not fun anymore to be on there. I will have a go with bumble after Easter when I have more dating time.

upyerbum J sounds like a total knob not worth the time of day.

UpYerBum - Total player, and possibly a nutter. If it wasn’t for my worries about the last possibility, I’d suggest to text him back and say, nah mate, I’ve got your number.

RichDeNiro - I think I’m the CalPacino to your DeNiro (starring in Puddle of Love rather than Sea of Love). I’ve had a couple of dates like that and even now I get extremely nervous dropping a message through to someone seemingly suitable in anticipation of that scenario. The nothing to lose, curiosity driven date goes well.

My mate unhelpfully suggests to imagine them on the loo. I’m interested to know what your therapist advises but I’ve come round to thinking my selection process is wrong, and based on self sabotage, and I should really be doing more of the spur of the moment, go with the flow encounters.

That moment when you start talking about sexual fantasies with your most promising iron and your heart sinks because you just know you'll never be on the same page regarding something. Yeah that. It's something I have done before in the early days of my marriage and it didn't end well - possibly because it wasnt thought through properly/no rules/boundaries. Will update later when I've got more time.

Mr Guns text this morning asking if we can go back to being regular fb's (we were seeing each other regularly until a few months ago). I'm tempted, but I am a little concerned that after a while I might start getting the feels for him.. He's honest, funny, oozes charisma and is fit as!
It could be a dangerous game.

Apparently, I'm a ESTJ-A - Executive... Interesting and reasonably accurate.

Just done the test and apparently I'm a Debater - ENTP -A/-T

No idea what any of that means!

Actually I've just read the full description and it's scarily accurate. Basically I'm a pain in the arse 😂

With sites like Tinder/Bumble where your likers remain hidden until you pay, is it worth paying for ? I find myself hovering over the X button when ploughing through Tinder profiles so I’m not particularly hopeful the investment is worth it there.

@HairyArsedMan it wasn't worth it for me as I found either too far or I wasn't attracted at the time. However might be worth doing as a one off....

Hairy in my opinion, none of them - it's a marketing ploy. Have you noticed all your likes are very attractive?

Hey everyone: just to update I had a great night with MrBig. Fantastic shagging and a good laugh. He smells so nice! It did confirm for me though that we will only ever be FWB which is good as I wasn’t sure how I was feeling about it/ him so feel I have some clarity

Think I might give apps/ Fab a rest for s few days. I don’t want a relationship and had loads of sex this morning which will sustain me for a few weeks. All my other irons are boring me so cannot see the point really in going on dates.

rich it’s so hard not to be nervous on a first date if you like someone. I do think the more dates I go on the better I am getting at hiding my nerves.

upyer what a loser - block!

30something haha that really amused me.

Can someone link the test? Or tell me where to find it?

I haven’t paid Man so not sure whether my likers are fake or not.

The top picks thing seems to present what I imagine would be the most popular profiles in my age range. You would half expect them to disappear eventually, being in such prominence, but the same ones come round time after time.

Thanks Eesha, I will save my money then. I think I should just bin it, as the process is so laborious, with no search and barely any written profiles.

It’s here www.16personalities.com

I was a Mediator (infp-a) on this one. If I’m honest the blurb reminded me of a horoscope - hit and miss. I’ve done these before with team profiling for work and I vary according to the questionnaire