Please don't 'baby' your children

[pineapple95]

Where do I start?

Parents of my y3/4 class routinely carry their children's bags in, take their lunch bags to the hall, hand in letters and money, put their reading diaries and spelling books in the right places on the right days, linger in the corridor chatting ... for goodness sake MAKE YOUR CHILD LOOK AFTER THEIR STUFF!

7-9 year olds can carry bags and remember books. Don't baby them. Even 3 year olds can carry their bags - don't be that parent who mollycoddles their children.

[BillywigSting]

As a parent of a reception aged dc I couldn't agree more.

Ds carries his book bag and homework bag, will carry his lunch bag when he's on packed lunches in the summer.

He gives the lead teacher on the door any money, hands back spare uniform that he may have needed etc.

If we are late I call ahead to explain why, drop him at reception and he makes his way to class (with the help of one of the reception staff because he's still eyfs).


I get a goodbye and I love you half way across the playground and he runs in himself. He puts his book bag and homework bag in the right boxes, hangs his coat on his peg and writes his name on board. I rarely do more than wave to the teacher at drop off. (pick up is a bit different, for safeguarding).

Ds is only 5.

A y3 child, absent send, should be more than capable of these things.

[KnittingOnEmpty]

Why are they allowed to come in and do all that? School needs to tell them to stay in the yard.

[catchyjem]

I was just going to say the same. Never heard of a school that lets parents in!

[madmum5811]

Wow, we were not allowed past the gates, let alone into the actual building. Your school needs to tighten up on this to be honest OP

[user789653241]

Hmm, I kind of agree, I've never carried my ds's bag for him, but even in yr6, he sometimes needs reminding to hand in the letter or money, or put his homework in the bag. I don't baby him at all. But something need to be worked on, even they are older.
Why are you so angry about how other parents do things differently?

[Haworthia]

I’m surprised that parents are even allowed in!

At my local Infants, parents can escort their child to the classroom door (all classes have external doors) and that’s that. Parents at the junior school aren’t even allowed into the grounds. Teachers stand sentry at two entry points and the kids get waved in from there.

So if helicopter parents are a problem, the school needs to prevent the helicoptering in the first place.

[Mrsfrumble]

I wish my children’s school would accept permission slips and money via children and class teachers. Everything like that has to be delivered directly to the office.

Agree with carrying their own bags though.

[SantaClauseMightWork]

If it makes you feel better, I make my DCs carry their bags nearly 90% of the times. I make sure they know that if they don’t do it, it won’t happen.

[drum123]

Why do you let them do this? It's your classroom, you're in control of it.

[Starlight456]

I would greet children at the door send parents on the way.

However I would also put it the other way round . Year 3 I tried getting my Ds to write his reading record take responsibility for it himself . Freereader from year 1 yet his homework would not be signed off unless I wrote it .

[Deadringer]

Where do you start? What about why do you start? Don't parents get enough criticism and feel under enough pressure without teachers criticizing them in their down time? Give over.

[Owletterocks]

I don’t know, there is a big difference between a 7 and 9 year old in my opinion. A just turned 7 year old who has just started juniors is much more likely to need help with this stuff than a 9 year old. I don’t want my money going missing so would probably check they hand money in and I carry his bag because he moves quicker when I do and we are pushed for time on the school run. I am also intrigued as to why it bothers you so much. 7 is pretty young, they will be adults before we know it and won’t want to know us, I am happy to help my kids out when they need it and will carry on doing so. Our school doesn’t let parents into the building at all and my eldest is only in year 2 so don’t know about the chatting in corridors stuff

[OhioOhioOhio]

Im a single parent of 3 children. When they were very little we lived with their abusive father who did everything he could to poison our home. And our hearts and minds. This is actually not against the law so now my children spend regular time with him.

Next year i return to teaching full time. I will never help my children wif3h the school jobs again because i will be in a different school helping different children, perhaps even your own children.

I carry bags, pick up coats, pass messages on not least because soon i will be handing these resppnsibilities on to the childminder. But also because i want to model kindness and gentle nurturing to my children.

If you are judging me when i have worked so hard to protect my children from a life of hell and reinforce a kind way forward then i trust that your life must be rather perfect.

[IHeartKingThistle]

I agree with you completely. But if you taught my Year 5 DS you would probably think that he had been babied. He hasn't, he's just away with the fairies thinking about the solar system or something. He'll lose something every single day. But I have never carried his bag and it is down to him to remember his stuff. He's been responsible for remembering his own stuff since the beginning of juniors and only now are we seeing some signs of independence, like he now does his homework at the weekend without being asked. But he's been taking his lunch in a carrier bag on average twice a week for 3 years because his lunchbox, which has been on the same trolley for 3 years, is apparently impossible for him to remember every day.

He's in a memory support group at school now and I'm glad because I was just like him at school and no one did anything about it but tell me off. I've struggled with my memory my whole life.

Just saying don't be too quick to judge. Apart from the parents carrying everything, judge away

[dementedpixie]

We're not even allowed in the playground never mind the class! Must be very disruptive to have all those extra bodies getting in your way

[PippilottaLongstocking]

In my son’s school we were expected to bring the kids in and help sort their stuff in the youngest two classes, beyond that we’re not even supposed to go to the classroom door unless we need to see the teacher, we’re told to drop the kids at the main gate and any letters or money can be left with the receptionist at the front office.

[RiverTam]

Parents above year 1 aren’t allowed in the playground at DD’s school either. Maybe, OP, your school shouldn’t facilitate parents doing this, hmm?

[NonaGrey]

I wish my children’s school would accept permission slips and money via children and class teachers. Everything like that has to be delivered directly to the office.

MrsFrumble how on earth do working parents mange that?

[pineapple95]

I knew this would receive loads of replies. Thank you to those parents who understand that their children need to look after their own things in school.

[Tomorrowillbeachicken]

Tbh we aren’t allowed in that far but I do carry ds’ bag in year two as he has substantial special needs including some that cause physical disabilities. I know I get judged as he looks NT and speaks a lot older than he is but as far as i am concerned ppl that judge us, including teachers, can get knotted.

[Safeandwarm]

My mum didn’t baby me, my sister walked with me to school. I had to remember what I was supposed to bring etc.
I still forgot/lost everything. I never learnt. I’m in my 30s and still forget/lose things regularly.

[whenwillthetwitchstrike]

My children go to school, then to an on-site sports activity and then to the childminder each day. They are Yr 4 and Yr 2 but have had the same routine since they each went into Yr1 (in Reception they went straight from school to the childminder). I am really proud of them for navigating these changes, remembering their reading books & water bottles, changing for sport, collecting their uniform, changing again after sport etc, getting to the right place on the right time. Sometimes there is a music lesson thrown in too. They are also responsible for packing their bags each day.
The least I can do is carry their book bags (which are a ridiculous style & they have to have in KS1) to the school gate and generally show them that I love & care for them and support them. They are young children and will have plenty of time to be independent yet.

[m0therofdragons]

7-9 year olds can carry bags and remember books.

I tried to go with this yet my dc consistently prove me wrong. Today all 3 dc forgot the signed consent forms I handed to them at breakfast time, dd2 left her water bottle in the car and dd3 had her bag on her back as we left the house but somehow decided to take it off "for a second" and left it by the front door! Mine are 10 and 2 7yos. Maybe my dc are broken?