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Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!!!!!!! I have LITERALLY twatted a spider to death

(245 Posts)
Honeydragon Fri 18-Nov-11 17:45:12

I have just been to the loo, had a wee and saw something rather large and dark on the loo paper. Looked and it was a spider, a squished, slightly warm very dead spider.

I have suffocated a spider with my fanjo. Worse I have had a spider residing in my pants and not known.

I couldn't even scream as the entire family are asleep in various parts of the house with the vomity fluy thing.

<sits in corner rocking>

ChameleonCircuit Fri 18-Nov-11 17:47:42

<pats Honey on the shoulder, whilst offering a medicinal wine>

MissPenteuth Fri 18-Nov-11 17:49:01

Could the spider have been on the toilet roll, rather than in your pants? Even so.. <shudders>

SarahStratton Fri 18-Nov-11 17:49:16

Christ. shock

You need [brandy] for that. wine just isn't going to cut it.

TooManyBlossoms Fri 18-Nov-11 17:49:16


Sorry, that's all I have to add.


SarahStratton Fri 18-Nov-11 17:49:54

Also what TooMany said. Even though I nearly ate one last week.

ShockinHolyTempers Fri 18-Nov-11 17:50:19

NOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooiiiiIIeeeeesss shock

Honeydragon Fri 18-Nov-11 17:51:27

No, I already had the paper in my hand iyswim?

Actually that would be worse, it would mean I'd smeared myself with spider <boak>

SuePurblybiltbyElves Fri 18-Nov-11 17:54:11

Have you counted all the legs on the corpse?

DressingGownQueen Fri 18-Nov-11 17:54:38

Nooooooooooo! That is truly awful, and I say that as someone who does not mind spiders.

Also, hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

AhCheeses Fri 18-Nov-11 17:55:24

Oh Dragon... I've just nearly laughed this baby out! grin
Thank you... if you could elaborate and make me laugh some more I could actually have this baby some time this year!

Was it one of those giant mutant spiders? The ones that come armed!?

SarahStratton Fri 18-Nov-11 17:55:42

That gave me the lulz SueP grin

SuePurblybiltbyElves Fri 18-Nov-11 17:56:46

Well, quite. Imagine feeling a tickle later on...

CotherMuckingFunt Fri 18-Nov-11 17:57:39

<wonders off to check pants>

Honeydragon Fri 18-Nov-11 17:58:14

Sue you total fucker, I have just ran upstairs and nearly broke my spine trying to contort myself to look for errant spider legs!!!!!!!!!

I don't mind spiders....till they choose to die in my chuff

ohgodohgodohgod there isn't enough brain bleach in the world for this.

SuePurblybiltbyElves Fri 18-Nov-11 17:59:26


Have you popped a conker up there now, to be on the safe side?

CotherMuckingFunt Fri 18-Nov-11 18:01:16

grin Sue grin

Honeydragon Fri 18-Nov-11 18:02:01


Spikes on or off?

Growlithe Fri 18-Nov-11 18:02:06

This is a horror film waiting to be made, surely

SuePurblybiltbyElves Fri 18-Nov-11 18:02:40

Off. The shells have no power and are prickly.

GreenEyesandNiceHam Fri 18-Nov-11 18:04:01

One word.


Honeydragon Fri 18-Nov-11 18:04:28

You do know the conker thing is a lie don't you?

I'm all itchy and can't stop clenching.

Honeydragon Fri 18-Nov-11 18:05:37


one word


HerdOfTinyElephants Fri 18-Nov-11 18:05:45

This is the best thread title EVER.

GreenEyesandNiceHam Fri 18-Nov-11 18:06:40

Did the cobwebs not give you a clue?


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