Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!!!!!!! I have LITERALLY twatted a spider to death

[Honeydragon]

I have just been to the loo, had a wee and saw something rather large and dark on the loo paper. Looked and it was a spider, a squished, slightly warm very dead spider.

I have suffocated a spider with my fanjo. Worse I have had a spider residing in my pants and not known.

I couldn't even scream as the entire family are asleep in various parts of the house with the vomity fluy thing.

Last ones brilliant

although I don't like the idea of a withered fluff

What with the cobwebs
Spiders will be very much at home
In me. Sadly.

It was meant to be FOOF.

(brain melting)

Oh, I've had a show
I'm due on the twenty-first
It's fucking SPIDERS!

Fucking spiders, cock
off. Don't come back until you
invent timemachines

Jareth = has gone batshit.

Fucks sake! now I'm not going sleep at all, how the hell did it get in your pants?

Thanks Honeydragon . Unfortunately I think this is the only interesting / amusing thing that has ever happened to me. I was on a course with work a few weeks ago and had to do the classic 'say something interesting about yourself' icebreaker. This was the only thing I could think of. (Thankfully I was saved by a miraculously timed fire alarm.)

BEST
THREAD
EVER

Thank you honey dragon to you and your spider-nurturing chuff.
Thank you
I am crying

POTM welcome.
Come in, pull up a pombear, adjust your moon cup, you are going to fit right in!

Good grief Honey

This is why I wear
pants in bed, lest arachnids
set up camp in chuff

.

WTF ? , no really WTf ?

Never heard of fanny loving spiders before .

Are you sure it's not a mutant crab ? I'd slap some derbac on just in case (well it's an insecticide , it would kill off any leftover spiders ).

Better to make sure mr spider didn't bring along a friend for a threesome !

Clicked onto thread and pc shut down - why didn't I pay heed to its kindly warning???
Honeydragon you have my sympathies. I have actually just got out of bed and gone to check bathroom and my fanjo.

Hang on - that sounds like I have a removable fanny!

<

It's mention to be a spider (fail )

MNHQ we need a spider emoticon .

Mutant Crab

If that was a chemically altered Muff Crab than I need to change toilet cleaners!

And for the sake of my reputation my foof is regularly used for recreational pleasure and is not some random webby spider den, nor do I have mutant lice/crabs or tiny eight legged aliens.

Twas a bastard spider.

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o0
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That's not a spider

Thanks for the welcome Norks .

Crying with laughter at this thread.

Going to bed now, double pants, both pairs thoroughly checked for creepies

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