Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!!!!!!! I have LITERALLY twatted a spider to death

[Honeydragon]

I have just been to the loo, had a wee and saw something rather large and dark on the loo paper. Looked and it was a spider, a squished, slightly warm very dead spider.

I have suffocated a spider with my fanjo. Worse I have had a spider residing in my pants and not known.

I couldn't even scream as the entire family are asleep in various parts of the house with the vomity fluy thing.

Freaky! Just seen a spider in kitchen

Honeydragon would you come and sit on it for me?

I am not rentafoof!

I found a spider in my pubes once. Was just about to get in the bath and felt something tickle...reached down and there he/she was. It scuttled off fairly happily, so I can only conclude that my fanjo is a reasonably habital environment.

I once found a woodlouse up my nightie. It fell out when I got out of bed

These insects must be perverts!!!

Maybe it was an adventure junkie spider, and had gone in there to do a bit of spelunking! We all know what happens to cavers, when there is an unexpected flood!

Love the green eggs poem ... And all the thread. Agree the quote should be quote of the week.

Was it a spider
Sat down beside her
Perched on the rim of the loo?
Or was it a nicker dweller
An ingenious young feller
Scaring the chuff out of you?

PieceOfTheMoon

If that is your first ever Mnet post, can I say welcome and for gods sake keep posting. That was hilarious

It scuttled off fairly happily, so I can only conclude that my fanjo is a reasonably habital environment. ROFL

I nearly gave a spider death by fanjo a couple of weeks ago, it was sitting on the loose end of the loo paper and I saw it in the nick of time just before it met a sticky end. Lucky beggar.

You fucking bastard, I'm scared as a mouse
I don?t need your web or your shite in my house
Please do fuck off now, I?m trying to be nice
If you don?t I will kill you will fire and with ice.

gah, i used to be good at poetry that was SHITE

Makes you wonder how many spiders have died in name of non-drippy foofs the world over ...

Maybe we all have spiders (or woodlice) down there?

They just hide really well, until old, tired and about to die.

All the poems on this thread have been particularly good I think

"hide really well"

Cunting
spiders do...
fuck off.
Now.

(see. better?)

Oh, a spider haiku

No, that was very
crap. A proper spider one

would be much better

PLEASE tell me someone has nominated this for Classics?

"Cunting spiders" ROFL

I've always worn pants
to cover my nethers in
case spiders get in.

Jareth is on a roll

My fluff will wither
with introduction of the
fucking arachnids

Argh Argh Argh Argh Argh
Argh Argh Argh Argh Argh Argh Argh
Argh Argh Argh Argh Argh