Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!!!!!!! I have LITERALLY twatted a spider to death

[Honeydragon]

I have just been to the loo, had a wee and saw something rather large and dark on the loo paper. Looked and it was a spider, a squished, slightly warm very dead spider.

I have suffocated a spider with my fanjo. Worse I have had a spider residing in my pants and not known.

I couldn't even scream as the entire family are asleep in various parts of the house with the vomity fluy thing.

Now you've made me do it too

Why the octual web did I have a real life on friday and miss this thread?

Honeyd you are a Legendx8.

Hahaha - that photo is a killer!

Someone here told me that they had a spider make a nest in the air conditioning unit - when they switched the air conditioning on next time, all the baby spiders were blown into their living room! I hope Boris doesn't turn out to be a female...

Thankyou for livening up a dull Monday afternoon!

As a confirmed arachnophobe I am now getting odd raised eyebrow looks from every

..one as I squirm around on my seat hoping that my pants are spiderless.

Unfortunately the thread I read prior to this one was the nit thread in AIBU so I am scratching my head a lot as well.

Have to ask though - immac? On a baby's head? Why?

(apologies for split post, never really got the hang of iPhone posting)

Ha, I can answer that one for honey - t'was an accident. She was immac'ing herself in the bath/shower and the baby was on the bathroom floor - a blob flew over and landed on baby's head. Sounds funnier her way though

Oh was that you with the immac Honey? I'd heard the legend but didn't know who'd done it :o

Never mind spiderbabies, I think you need to watch out for the spider returning as a ghostly apparition to the scene of its demise! The ghost of Banquo springs to mind. You could make a fortune from 'Most Haunted - Minge Edition'. Can just imagine Yvette Fielding and Derek Acorah with torches.

Be the closet ol' Derek has been to a foof in many a long year since birth

Pmsl@ sue

Highly deadly black Tarantula...
(Daylight come when you pull your pants down)

Eeeeeek just seen that huntsman photo... I'd forgotten how hideous they are.
mind you, if my dad did get one in his pants, it might have served him right. He kept a spider in a jar in the kitchen for ages, feeding it flies, to see if anyone knew if it was a funnel web spider.... Then he let it go, so it probably went and told its big bully spidey mate to teach dad a lesson

And to continue from where aubergine left off...
Come miss honey dragon
Tally me banana
Daylight come when you pull your pants down,
6 legs,
7 legs,
8 legs,
Foof!
Spider in my pants and I wanna go home

There was a mumsnetter who sat on a spider,
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her,
She sat on the spider to catch the fly,
I don't know why she sat on the fly,
Perhaps she'll die.

Frigg pointed me in your direction. I apologise for laughing at what must have been a horrific incident, but this thread and the comments have had me laughing out loud!! I now need to explain to DH why!

I hope Boris was a boy - I wonder how you could assertion the gender of the average household spider?

Tiggy, either way Sue has decided I'm having spider babies!

Currently I am checking under the bed to see if Derek's there with a torch waiting for spider ghosts

Well just be careful that Derek doesn't meet the same fate - imagine the headlines...

Incy Wincy spider scuttled across the floor.
Ran up Honey's leggy, looking for the door.
Saw a big dark tunnel long and dark and wide
Went in, laid an egg, was sat on and died.

All the little babies hatched out the next week.
Crept down her PJs while Honey was asleep.
Explored her armpits, was a bit hot there.
So snuggled up safely in her bushy hair.

Not only in classics - but in the Talk Roundup too. Now there's famous!

Someone just linked me this thread - how did I miss it?! It is genius. And the only good argument for hairless bits I have ever heard.

was just talking about this as I’ve just seen a monster spider. Just thought I’d do you newbies all a favour by bringing it back to life 😝