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Anxiety support, Hand hold or chit chat come say hi #2

(988 Posts)
Fairydust26 Mon 12-Mar-18 20:56:07

Hi everyone this is part 2 as the original thread is full up! But as the title says this thread is support for all that are struggling and could do with a handhold and a chit chat so come and say hello😊.

WLmum Mon 12-Mar-18 22:23:20

Thank you fairy that is helpful.
Do you have any particular focus for your anxiety? Mine is about work - I obsess about whether I should change jobs or careers. Looking back, the last 2 jobs I left were down to anxiety. I'm not sure if wanting to leave this one is anxiety or real. I'm really hoping meds will help me to think more clearly and not panic and obsess.

Jaymay Tue 13-Mar-18 05:10:13

Hi. I wondered if anyone could give me some feedback and let me know whether I am alone in my feelings? My husband and I have been together for 15 years and married for 7. At Christmas we both decided to loose some weight then in Feb start to try for a baby. Because I have irregular periods we thought it would take some time and have a holiday in the UK booked for June with the idea that if nothing happened by then we would go the GP. 3 weeks later and we've just found out we're pregnant. I knew even before we did the test as my period was odd, I had strange pains, knackered and needing to wee constantly.
The problem is that I am quite an anxious person. Never sought any help but I get claustrophobic in the car, on a plane, on a train etc. Have a fear of blood, needles etc.
Since finding out I'm pregnant I've really gone into a bit of a panic! It's just come so quickly I can't take it in! I feel ok about it one minute, then the next just can't cope with the idea of being pregnant and am terrified what sort of a parent I will be!
This is causing a massive lack of appetite (am forcing myself to eat to try to reduce symptoms of dizziness etc) and as you can tell seeing as it's 4:39am am unable to sleep! In bed I just start panicking about how our lives will change, how I will be when pregnant, how I hate blood tests, I can't stand the idea of giving birth etc and I lie here feeling hot, sweaty with a racing heart all night!
My main fears are me / baby (although that's scary to even say) not getting enough food due to my lost appetite, the racing heart causing illness to me / baby and finally coping with a busy job on minimal sleep (about 3.5 hrs fitful sleep so far and need to be up for work in an hour and a quarter!).
Anyway I read that writing down fears may help and understanding you are not alone. Is anyone else out there feeling the same?
Hope to hear from you soon

WLmum Tue 13-Mar-18 06:30:57

Hi jaymay
I think those kinds of thoughts are quite normal. Don't forget your hormones are racing right now and they will calm down after about 12 weeks.
With regards to nutrition - the baby will take what it needs first so you will suffer before the baby does. Plenty of people have awful morning sickness which limits their ability to eat and babies are fine. Maybe try a nutritional milkshake?
What kind of parent do you want to be? What role models do you have? Try to remember that you will be on maternity leave away from work to start with so will only have to focus on the baby and working out your new role. Day by day. You don't have to have it all figured out at once.
Re the birth - I have heard hypnobirthing is very effective. And you will have choices.
Writing fears and thoughts is definitely a good idea - write them when are feeling positive too so you can read over them.
Hope you find some ways to bring some relief. I'm sure your midwife will have heard others feel the same. She may have some good resources. X

Trooperslane2 Tue 13-Mar-18 09:00:33

High fives Fairy


Welcome jaymay

WL gives great advice - I also did hypnobirthing which I found really good, not just for the birth but also in the run up. Met one of my best, closest, most wonderful Mum friends there too smile

I'm having a rough start today - DD up half the night and then really clingy at drop off and I'm feeling anxious about the meeting with my boss yesterday and how I am perceived.

I know my doctor's note more than covers me but I really do care too much what other people think of me and worry about getting another job......

Wh0KnowsWhereTheT1meG0es Tue 13-Mar-18 11:07:42

Marking my spot, will be back later. Thanks for the new thread Fairy. flowers

Jaymay Tue 13-Mar-18 12:37:56

Thank you all. It's so nice to hear that what I am feeling is normal with some ideas of how to fix it. I hope you are all feeling like you are getting a bit better too smile

WLmum Tue 13-Mar-18 14:25:45

troopers thanks! Trouble is, I'm great at giving it out, poor at advising myself! I think my anxiety has messed with me so much that I just don't know what's an actual problem and what's 'just' anxiety. I need to work out why my job stresses me out so much - if I'm going to do something else no point in just repeating the pattern.

Deborah543 Tue 13-Mar-18 21:09:53

Hello Jaymay. Simular to you I was surprised to conceive so quickly and, esspesally anxious due to having a previous psychotic episode (allthough it was borderline and I don't really agree) I'm 22 weeks and feeling happier now I'm actually sleeping and calmer due to medication which I was reluctant to take, but after the first trimester the risks are low. Work is a struggle and there's no hiding from my colleagues anymore how scatty I really am. Fortunately I have lovely colleagues but a stressful and physical job working as a radiographer so my hours have now been cut. Just be honest with your midwife about feelings, they do help.

Pinkcoat124 Tue 13-Mar-18 21:17:15

Hi Jaymay. Welcome and congratulations on your pregnancy. It certainly can feel overwhelming and especially so when you are anxious to start with. Just remember that you will have plenty of support from your midwives etc who will advise and help you through everything you are worried about. Have a chat with your gp and good luck with everything.

Hope everyone is doing OK this evening. I'm ok but I think it won't take much to push me over the edge. I keep having "anxiety" dreams every night so I'm waking up stressed. Thats probably a reflection of my state of mind, although I don't feel too bad currently, but you can't control what you dream about unfortunately.

gttia Tue 13-Mar-18 22:31:58

Hi just checking in, not been on for a while. Thanks for tmrw new thread fairy x

WLmum Wed 14-Mar-18 07:45:44

pink I've been waking up early with a racing heart. I managed to bring it down a bit this morning but lay there waiting for dd to come in. Vicious circle isn't it - anxiety stops me from sleeping but tiredness makes the anxiety worse. I'm really struggling this morning and about to go to work.

LokisLover Wed 14-Mar-18 07:57:23

Hello, another anxious person here and having a crappy time with it at the moment.
Slowly recovering from a major op, just ended a 3 year relationship, single mum, bored with my recovery and my anxiety is through the roof. I hate it.
So hopefully I’ve found my people here! I sympathise so much with all I’ve read on this tread so far. The one thing that is helping (apart from my therapist) is knitting, just so I can focus on something small.

phlewf Wed 14-Mar-18 08:05:48

Can I ask for some help? I’m in a bad spiral. Previous behaviour has been to withdraw from life and people, ending up on my own and not leaving the house for days.
I’m on that path just now but desperate to climb off. I’ve not been to college for months. I think they’ll be sympathetic, I have a letter from my dr asking them to go easy.
All I want to do is stay under the covers.

Jaymay Wed 14-Mar-18 09:03:56

I'm feeling quite similar. Had a much more relaxing evening last night and have taken the day off work today to recover. But am planning to go back tomorrow. Have chatted to a number of mums at work and was so relieved to find they felt very similar. Also glad to know that it's normal not to eat lots and even a sugary drink can be enough (eg honey tea). Eating in the morning is difficult particularly as my mouth is so dry but constantly sipping water helps. Am going to focus today on rest, little snacks, writing down all my hopes and fears and planning for work tomorrow. Good luck all!

Jaymay Wed 14-Mar-18 09:18:36

Other thing I've done is downloaded a pod cast on tauism. I'm not religious at all but some of the principles are really interesting to listen to and very calming.

Trooperslane2 Wed 14-Mar-18 11:30:32

I'm hiding from my cleaner so I've had to leave the house today.

In a pub down the road having a camomile tea after puking half way here blush. I hid behind a bus shelter

I keep forgetting that I need to sit down for a bit after I take my medication otherwise I feel really sick.

Meeting a friend later so I have to stay out... and trying to banish work worries.

I don't even want to get back into the same industry so what's my problem?

Anyone else's weight still dropping? I haven't been this weight since 1995. I think I need some complan.

Deborah543 Wed 14-Mar-18 16:51:29

Jaymay, my mouth was so dry during yesterdays training on dehydration! It would have been an interesting couple of lectures but all I could focus on after a walk in(forgot my water bottle) then a big breakfast was not falling asleep or fidgeting too much. Then when I was able to listen a bit, they were talking about saline drips and the physiology of dehydration so I kept checking the circulation on my fingertips and worrying that my cup of water was allready finished. I'm not used to sitting still. Overall though, the new medication I'm on (quetiapine) is really helping.

Deborah543 Wed 14-Mar-18 16:53:26

And don't get me started on the whopping cough vaccine... I'm talking to my GP about that next week.

Fairydust26 Wed 14-Mar-18 17:42:03

Hi everyone just checking in to see how your all doing and a big hello to our newbies hope you find some comfort posting on this thread!flowers. I’m doing good at the moment however as we all know that could change in a flash so fingers crossed.

Wh0KnowsWhereTheT1meG0es Wed 14-Mar-18 22:36:59

Pink and WL - I'm another one who wakes early with the adrenalin pumping. I'm trying to find some relaxation techniques to help me switch back off and get a bit more sleep. Once I'm up and about it's not so bad provided I keep busy, but I never know when something is going to set me off. I've had a good day today, but have been deliberately avoiding some known triggers. So often I just feel nervous about every small thing, it is very wearing.

Lokis - it sounds as though you have a lot going on. I'm glad the knitting helps, I crochet and do find it relaxing. I make squares for the MN Woolly Hugs blankets. Hope your recovery from the OP is well underway, I had one about 5 years ago and remember how long the recovery seemed.

Phlewf - that sounds positive about your college, is there anyone you could maybe ring or email to work out a plan for going back?

Jaymay - the one time in my life (well twice, I have two DCs) that I have totally lost all interest in food was during pregnancy, so I didn't put on much weight at all, despite biggish bumps. Both babies were fine, full term, normal weight etc. I remember being really shocked at how exhausted I was in the first trimester too, I used to come home from work and just sleep with DC1. It is natural to have a lot of concerns at this time, your hormones are all over the place, your body is changing, you really aren't sure what you have let yourself in for at all. Talking to colleagues with children really helped me a lot (still does and they are all teenagers now).

WLmum Wed 14-Mar-18 23:26:38

deborah what are you studying?
Why the dry mouth and sickness? Side effects from meds? I have an apt with the gp on Friday - still scared of meds.

Deborah543 Thu 15-Mar-18 05:37:13

Hi, I'm a radiographer and we have monthly academics. Normally they are really boring staff meetings with hardly anything academic. This week reps from the drugs company came in and gave a couple of talks on the dangers of contrast media (used in ct and mri). Ct contrast can cause dehydration if someone has impaired renal function.

The meds are good. I'm on 25mg of quetaloapine (can't spell). Which is a really popular drug at the moment. It's both and antidepressant, anti-psychotic and mood stabiliser. I reacted badly to setraline, made me so anxious when I stopped after 5 days I couldn't leave the house. That was prescribed to me by a GP so I was only happy to take medication after it was prescribed by a psychiatrist, allthough it took a long session.

It's hard to tell where the symptoms of dry mouth and sickness come from - anxiety pregnancy or side effects. I'm pretty sure it's not side effects as the baby is growing a lot as the moment and overall I feel better. I'm still reluctant to increase the dose which they may want to do at my next review. I'll try to be open minded...

Deborah543 Thu 15-Mar-18 05:48:38

A consultant obstetrician prescribed me cetralopram (without actually talking to me) which looked into and decided against. They always say nurses make the worst patients... I'm always saying I'm not a nurse I'm a radiographer. Which is why I'm so worried about the whopping cough vaccine as I know a lot about asthma and know there is a lot of tb in my area. I'm always looking at lungs. There are arguments both ways. I'm also I really indecisive person. Right now I'm thinking ill probably have it a bit later in pregnancy when the lungs are a bit more developed. My cousins daughter (5) is undergoing investigation for a collapsing lung...

Jaymay Thu 15-Mar-18 07:23:08

Hi all. Thanks for your posts it is great to hear others are facing similar anxieties. I've actually managed to have a good couple of sleeps now and have eaten a few decent meals so although my mind feels like it's generally whirring and I'm struggling a bit to focus, the anxiety in my tummy has subsided.
I like to come on here to check your comments in the morning. That's when I feel the worse. Going back to work today so that will give me a focus.
Can I ask a couple of daft questions (sorry I don't understand the abbreviations) but when do you start showing for the first time? And once your bump grows, does it feel really stretched and uncomfortable? Finally when the baby moves inside you, does that feel weird and yacky?
Thanks again all and I hope you all have a good day x

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