Anxiety support, Hand hold or chit chat come say hi #2

[Fairydust26]

Hi everyone this is part 2 as the original thread is full up! But as the title says this thread is support for all that are struggling and could do with a handhold and a chit chat so come and say hello😊.

[Thisismyhappyface101]

Feeling pretty shitty at the moment . Anxiety through the roof. Suffering really badly with health anxiety at the moment. Having symptoms consistent with ovarian cancer but Gp won't investigate as she says they are due to my anxiety. I know she's probably right but the nagging doubt that I have the 'silent killer' is crippling me. Had to phone into work sick today - boss doesn't know about my MH issues & is rather he didn't know so having to lie about the reason I'm off.

Feeling like a complete failure. Crap Mum, Crap wife, Crap employee, Crap person. Wish this anxiety would do one...

[Fairydust26]

Thisismyhappyface101 hugs for you I completely understand what your going through and it’s so crippling! I can’t offer much advise but when I’m having a particular bad time off it I like to watch The Anxiety Guy on YouTube he has loads of videos on health anxiety which You may find is helpful, just know your not alone in feeling this way.

[WLmum]

happyface can you list one good thing you do as an employee/colleague/wife/Mum. Prove you're not as crap as your anxiety would have you believe.
My anxiety is usually work related - I'll be leaving my job in the next couple of months...again. Despite the fact that each time I resign I get a counter offer I'm still convinced I'm rubbish. I had my first taste of health anxiety last year and it wasn't fun.

[Lyra2018]

I feel the same wl mum, just my anxiety around interviews is worse. As I have a dyslexic statement I'm allowed to ask for reasonable adjustments to make interviews less stressful such as asking for a written list of questions ahead of time. I've never asked for this as I've not wanted to declare I'm 'disabled' before I have an offer. However now I now how bad my anxiety really is and that it's holding me back, I think next time I'll ask. So I've been in my current role for 4 years and it's a real love hate relationship I have. I enjoy working with students as they boost my confidence (even if they are just sucking up for a good report) it does make me realise how competent I actually am.

[Yourmentalhealthmatters2017]

I have been in speaking with someone since December
We were in constant contact and met up several times.

One of our first conversations were about our mental health which for a better word is f**ked, what a pair eh

So we had nothing to hide we were very open.

He says he's safe at home in his bubble but broke out and met elsewhere.

His mental state is worse than mine but I appreciate and accepted it as him.

Now out of the blue he's ignoring me after telling me he's having a 'bad day'

What do I do?

Understandable my mental health is now suffering I believe I've done nothing wrong but listen and been supportive.

[Lyra2018]

I'm having a bad day, just leave him and try again tommorow or in a few days. It's probably not personal, just needs to be alone.

[Lyra2018]

And your obviously an amazing and supportive friend. He's open enough to tell you it's a bad day.

[Lyra2018]

Fridays suck for me at the moment, Sunday or Monday is good. Fresh week, fresh start.

[Lyra2018]

I'm taking a break from meds tonight as headakes and confusion and depression were severe today and I had thoughts of overdosing being alone which I didn't tell the doctors because I don't want more intervention. Know that it would stay permanently on my record. Just stayed in bed, well away from the medicine cupboard, and kept calling samaritans and listening to music. I can tell them next week that I took a break. As I wrote that baby kicked, feel so guilty... My husband made a really hurtful little comment just before I fell asleep last night.

[Lyra2018]

Got a handwritten envolope, was psychiatric report... No congratulations cards or letters from relatives. My grandmas twin sister died this week and she's been depressed for years since my grandad died. Doesn't want help for her memory, I think she has dementia, but I don't know. She never writes or calls or remembers who I am. Never has been good at that, but like me loves dogs. I hope she lives to see her first great grandchild. She had a mini stroke around the same time her sister had a major stroke... Now I have to decide whether I want to go to the funeral. I hardly knew my great aunt but it might be nice to see relatives. I just do my grandma a card. One sister is doing a card, the distant sister is travelling down for the funeral and I've not seen her since Christmas.

[Lyra2018]

Funeral might be too much.

[Lyra2018]

Cousins can be intense, too many pregnancy questions, might be better than having to see them with a baby. There are 11 of us all around the same age from 3 families and we were very close as children. One is in secure psycatric hospital with paranoid schizophrenia, what I'm most scared of developing.

[Fairydust26]

Lyra2018 sorry to hear your having a tough time hopefully the weekend will be better for you.

[Fairydust26]

I’m feeling good at the moment however I’ve got something pretty stressful happening over the next few days which is making me anxious however I’m trying my hardest to not get in a tizzy about it!.

[Lyra2018]

Thanks fairy. Decided to take a break from the meds as I have nothing inportant planned this weekend and no sleep is better than the migraines and associated thoughts. My parents are visiting tommorow and we are having brunch and going to a museum and ordering my glasses. With any luck my dad might even pay. I've decided to buy transision glasses which I can afford but my dad has always liked buying us stuff and giving us money. He's got transision lenses, wears them all the time. Have a good weekend. It'll be over before you know it

[toffee1000]

So I really need to see someone, I don’t think I can get over my issues alone. But the NHS doesn’t have a great track record and the waiting list could be long. If I went private, there’s no real way of telling if anyone will be any good, or if we’ll “click” IYSWIM... in my family we are constantly saying we need to do xyz but then we take ages to follow through with it.

[Fairydust26]

Re going private you could always contact a few places see what they can offer and ask what sort experience they have. You may find one that you click with and will fill comfortable going to however I also don’t see the harm in going to your gp and asking for help via the nhs if your really struggling that way the more options you have the better.

[Yourmentalhealthmatters2017]

@Lyra2018 thanks I don't feel like a supportive friend tho
Hope you feel better xx

[Lyra2018]

I'm not better, my grandma went into hospital as I predicted. That 'sense of impending doom' and 'thinking error of predicting the future' is hard to rationalise right now. I am religious, but can cause psychosis. Supposedly, I think my diagnosied episode was borderline mania and psychosis and is only psychosis because I was struggling with my spiritualty and having my beliefs unfairly challenged. Like me my grandma got overwelmed by support and had a dizzy spell overnight, stayed on the floor. My grandad was a Victor and belevie he is watching over us all now. I hate feeling like I have to always justify myself when it comes to personal issues. So my planned relaxing day with my parents was stressful as they were receiving the news and getting updates throughout the day. Nice to get out the house but feel physically ill now and can't manage my meds. Im waiting for my husband to come home so he can help me decide. My parents left when I was falling asleep but panic stops me sleeping. I'm going to have a hot drink and maybe chocolate (allthough it causes migraines..) and lie down listing to music. I want to wait until Monday when I can speak to my doctors I've only just found and trusted. Just feel so sick and have only had one meal today.

@yourmentalhealth, let me know how you get on with your friend. Sometimes we need to just shut everyone out to relax.

[Lyra2018]

But just check on them occasionally, especially if they are alone. Not pushy.

[Yourmentalhealthmatters2017]

@Lyra2018 last text him Wednesday, he's read it but he's been on Facebook and currently looking after his nephew so at least I know he's 'ok' x

[Lyra2018]

That's nice he's got a nephew to look after. Bet he's keeping him busy.

[Fairydust26]

How’s everyone doing?.

[Yourmentalhealthmatters2017]

I have been to church today and sang so I'm good today
Hope everyone is well

[Lyra2018]

I'm doing better today. Just chilled out all day. Thought about food and music. Feeling positive about the coming week. Enjoyed baby moving,