Anxiety support, Hand hold or chit chat come say hi #2

[Fairydust26]

Hi everyone this is part 2 as the original thread is full up! But as the title says this thread is support for all that are struggling and could do with a handhold and a chit chat so come and say hello😊.

I don't know what's happening. It hasn't been as bad today, but I keep thinking something is crawling on my feet and it makes me jump and there's nothing there.

I haven't had it this bad since my mum died when I heard voices. Thankfully I haven't heard any for a while. Is this anxiety rearing its ugly head again?

bippity are you getting enough sleep?I see things if I'm really sleep deprived-have seen fish swimming up the curtains and gnomes running around Tesco!!if you are under a lot of stress or in a lot of pain brains can do weird things.not nice or easy

Stilllivinginazoo I think so. My sleep varies. But I'm used to being sleep deprived sometimes and I've never really had that before. I'm seeing the GP on Friday, mainly for a medication review, but this will be the first time I've seen them since I've got ill, as I was under the care of a psychiatrist and the crisis team before, which stopped just over a month ago.

I'm just terrified if I tell them what's going on, I'll have to go to hospital. I was nearly admitted a couple of times before, hence why I had the crisis team.

Will I get in trouble for not turning up for my CBT appointment today? That's really playing on my mind as well. They haven't contacted me. I have another appointment next Friday.

I had a MASSIVE anxiety attack a couple of weeks ago. I'd been really ill with Bronchitis then Asthma, had steroid tablets, still felt I couldn't breathe, felt fearful, trembling, etc. Husband rang 111, a paramedic came, did ECG, BP, temperature, Oxygen levels, listened to my chest, etc., everything normal. It was anxiety, they said. Paramedic was here 2 hours. I've NEVER had anything like it.

I'm now on Mirtazapine. Apart from feeling absolutely doped up, I feel much better.

I have a text contact for CBT bippity and I text if I can't make it(kids I'll,double booked myself,struggling with X,y,z) explain you hurt your leg and couldn't make it
You must tell them what's happening to you.it could be the meds,or not enough meds.im sure you don't want to be really poorly again.they can't help you if you aren't honest.sending big hugs.xx

I didn't know you could do that. That would be a lot easier, especially as I struggle to talk to people on the phone. I just can't bring myself to do it, so I end up hiding away. Pathetic, I know. I tried to get my partner to ring up this morning but his words were 'I'm not getting involved' and refused to ring.

The more of these posts I read, the more I realise I have been suffering for a long time. I hate talking on the phone too but before I went on meds, my heart would be pounding and I would be praying for an answer phone.
Bippity they won't be angry but like Stillliving said, make sure you tell them what happened.

I text my Son telling him I am upset with him. Don't know why, he won't read it. He probably repeats them right away. That's if he hasn't blocked me from his phone.
It must be near my time of the month, I am very emotional today.

It's crazy because I work in a public facing role, so you would think I would be comfortable talking on the phone. But I suppose I get paid for it and it's as if I'm putting on an act, I'm a different person if that makes sense?

I've been thinking that for a while when I was nearing my time of the month, about a week or two before, I felt like I was going crazy. Like a switch, along with the awful pains. Then after the two weeks, I would feel such relief, like an 'ah-ha! Moment' I'm not going crazy, it's fine. And was on contraception for a few years, which helped, although it made me out on about 5 stone.

I've come off it recently, and at first I thought, that's probably what's wrong, but it's not anymore.

I was told I have adjustment disorder. Never heard of that in my life until I googled it. And although most of the symptoms do ring true for me, it's not because of a reaction to anything, sometimes it just comes out of the blue.

I never heard of that either. My anixiety attacks used to come on for no reason too sometimes. I didn't know what they were though until they got very bad.
My attacks were nothing like yours though. I hope you start to feel better soon.

I think it's just a fancy way of saying situational depression. I could be wrong though. When the therapist read my notes and mentioned 'adjustment disorder' I thought 'eh? What's that?' But I didn't say anything and I wish I challenged it more. Although she did say it sounds more of a chemical imbalance with me. I don't know. It's all very confusing.

I think it's more than just depression. I thought maybe it was borderline personality, and then I thought it might be bipolar. I'm convinced it might be the latter.

One of the main reasons being is when they switched my meds, it was like a switch (although I was feeling a lot better the day before) and it felt like I had been given jet fuel. I couldn't sit still, felt like I was invincible and I could take on the world. Jumping from one idea to the next. So didn't realise it at the time, I just assumed I was in a good mood and the meds were working. Stupidly went out drinking and my friend thought I was on drugs, which I had to adamantly say I wasn't. Still don't know if they believe me. Lasted about a week and a half and I dipped again.

The best way I can describe it, is that I felt like I was cocaine, without the come down. For the whole week.

I am not a physcolgist but from reading up on depressing you do sound like you could have bi-polar. I don't know though.
Are you any better today? It must be such an anxious and confusing time for you.
Thinking of you.

Feeling really down in the dumps today overthinking and overanalysing life even had a little sob but I’m blaiming it partly on hormones! how’s everyone else doing today?.

Sorry to hear that fairy.
I'm Doing okay. DS answered my texts last night. Okay his replies were short and he usually says "I love you" when he signs off and he didnt this time but it's a start. Had a terrible night though because I had a small bit of chocolate cake at work. Time to face facts, Me and Dairy do not mix.
Just back from the park run. Got changed into my Pjs.

Thank you Iblinkedandiamold feeling abit better now that’s good that your son is in contact again little by little you’ll get there hopefully your relationship will be back to how it was soon.

Glad to hear it. Sometimes a good cry is cleansing.

Not really Iblinkedandiamold I've just wanted to stay in bed all day. I don't think the sertraline is working. It's making my mood's swing very up and down. More downs than ups though. And I just feel an absolute mess.

How is everyone feeling this evening? I'm feeling a lot better but now.

Fairy - glad to hear you are feeling better. I can get stuck overanalyzing things too.

Bippity - hope you continue to feel stronger too.

I am doing a lot better, I still drink way too much, which I'm aware of. I've drank the best part of 2 bottles of gin over the past two days. But tonight I'm not having the hallucinations, or want to end it all. Which is a win for me.

Thanks vikingwoman still feel abit meh but Im sure it will soon pass. BippityBoppity87 glad to hear your feeling abit better how’s everyone’s weekend been hope your all doing well?.

Tired tonight as I check in.ds anxiety been very bad but I pushed him very hard and he hung in there both for choir practise and at church today.poor bean was trembling and panicking.i am SUPER PROUD of him dont think I'm that brave
Need to up my self care this week as I start feel meh and dark mornings won't help improve this(in summer I'm up at silly o'clock with the birds doing stuff)

Hope everyone had either a productive,calm or I held it together by the skin of my teeth weekend and are ready for the week ahead!

I managed to go to work today, even being a bit wobbly with my knee. I thought I was ok, if maybe just a bit tired as I only managed to get about 2 hours sleep last night.

Then a customer asked me if I was ok, I said fine? Why do I not look ok? No you don't look ok. I don't know what vibes I give off, but I felt fine to me. Unless I'm acting like Ross from Friends 'I'M FINE!' 😂

This is the third stranger in the past 3 months who has asked me this question with a really concerned look on their face, which is now making me feel really self conscious!

Bippity - wonderful you managed to go to work today! Hopefully you'll get some well-deserved rest tonight and who knows...perhaps do even better tomorrow.

Zoo - loved your last paragraph . Hey, making it by the skin of our teeth is still a win! What sort of self care do you like to do when you have the time?