Anxiety support, Hand hold or chit chat come say hi #2

[Fairydust26]

Hi everyone this is part 2 as the original thread is full up! But as the title says this thread is support for all that are struggling and could do with a handhold and a chit chat so come and say hello😊.

[Fairydust26]

WLmum I had the exact same including the lack of appetite I found that if you take it with something to eat before had even if it something small like a buiscuit helps loads. Hang in there it does subside and hopefully you’ll start to feel the benefits soon!.

[WLmum]

Thanks fairy. I'm feeling a bit sad and spaced today - as much lack of sleep as anything else I guess. Also thinking work drives so much of my anxiety - maybe the answer is just to step away and find a minimal hours minimal pay job. Not sure how we'd pay the bills but maybe I'd be happier? Makes me feel like such a failure.

[inlectorecumbit]

Hi can l join?
My anxiety is through the roof today and l am struggling to cope. I can't eat and the weight is dropping off.
I went to my GP and was referred for counselling a month ago, the counsellor was awful and tried to dispute things l told him "you think that happened" no l know it happened. I know what triggered this episode but he delved into areas of my life l was at peace with and tried to change my views on them. I was so upset after the most recent appointment l couldn't go back. All l wanted was some coping strategies.
He also wanted to tape our sessions for someone else to listen to ? his supervisor. Is this normal?
Now l am scared to go back to GP and frantically trying to find other help.
I am worried how my mood is affecting my DH who is lovely and so supportive but he must be sick of having to give me a hug and me constantly crying.
A handhold would be good

[WLmum]

Hi inlec. Welcome. Sorry you are having a hard day and that you had a rubbish experience with a counsellor. I have had rubbish ones and good ones. I'm currently having some on line counselling through ieos - it's NHS so free and was quick - no waitlist. It has helped a bit but not enough keep me off meds. I just feel really lost.

[WLmum]

I meant to say I quite like the online as I hate sitting there crying while someone looks at me!

[WLmum]

After my sleepless night I'm off to bed now. Thank you all for your support - knowing you are there has helped a lot. Tomorrow is my birthday so really hope I can hold it together

[Deborah543]

Happy birthday WLmum! Do you know the song 'it's my party I can cry if I want to.' it's your day so just chillax. I feel great, but I'm always worried now when I feel good like this that I'm too happy and becoming unwell. I had an argument with my husband last night and I have a stressful week next week so it doesn't make sense. However, I slept well, there is a nice layer of snow outside and no plans for the day so sounds pretty good.

[Fairydust26]

WLmum hope you managed to get descent nights sleep and happy birthday!.

Deborah543 we’ve got snow here too pain in the arse though when you’ve got things to do and places to go!.

[WLmum]

Thanks ladies. Glad you are feeling well deborah long may it continue.
I slept quite well but did have vivid dreams which is unusual. I took half a sertraline this morning and feel a bit spaced and seem to have a bit of a shake going on, but feel much better than yesterday. I seriously considered not taking them after feeling so rough yesterday.

[WLmum]

I wonder if I took half every other day to start with - would that work? What's your wisdom?

[Fairydust26]

WLmum maybe start with 25mg each day for a week and then up to 50 that way it gets into your system and your not prolonging the side effects however it’s totally up to you if your finding it too difficult stick with every other day. But hang in there I felt like quiting them too at the start but glad I persevered as it does get better. Hope you managed to have a good birthday anyway😊.

[Fairydust26]

Oh also sertaline has a half life of 26 hours if that helps so make sure your taking it around the same time each day or every other day which ever you decide.

[Deborah543]

Thanks wl mum. I've had a relaxing weekend but my husband has come down with a virus and we are both getting a little bit stir crazy and bickering. All is well and we have one room really warm, watching films with the dog and I cooked a nice slow cooked chicken thighs (I don't cook, my husband usually does but I'm trying to do more round the house). Hopefully the weather will allow us to get to work, I'm not driving tommorow that's for sure. It's all icy and a steep hill down to the hospital. Thought I'd read the royal collage of psychiatrists leaflet on post natal psychosis (as recommended by my psychiatrist) but that made me want to go to bed for the rest of the day. I won't know I'll get it, and I'm getting the right support to prevent it, it just confirmed that I have had psychosis before (just without the halusionations). It explained that depression can tip into psychosis if its severe. Its about time for my bedtime routine now of horlicks and medicine. I feel like a granny right now, but I do like my horlicks with almond milk, really creamy and the Asda brand almond milk is about as good as apro. I'm not vegan or intolerant just getting my calcium from a variety of sources as my mum was recommended to avoid dairy when pregnant with me until I was two due to my sister having severe allergies and asthma. I don't think dairy is that healthy and I've been drinking too much milk for easy fluid, calories and calcium. Sorry for the ramble. Wl mum, hope you can get through the difficult stage and setraline agrees with you eventually.

[WLmum]

That's sounds like a nice day deborah
Thanks fairy that's really helpful to know. I'll see how I feel in the morning. I've wrangled for so long with whether I need to take something or not I don't really trust how I feel. I'm not sure if it's part anxiety about my mental health making me want to stop and hide and pretend I'm ok really or if I've just made it into a bigger problem.

[WLmum]

Well this is bloody ridiculous. Feel like I'll never sleep again. Wondering if I should phone in sick to work tomorrow. Not sure how I'd work on so little sleep.
Sorry to have a pity party :-(

[toffee1000]

I need to bloody see someone. The NHS is shit and the waiting list would be months long. We’d have the money to go private but then it’s the problem of who is good/who is shit.
I wasn’t on the last thread much, it moved fairly fast and my anxiety isn’t as awful as some people’s; I don’t really get physical symptoms or have panic attacks and I’ve never self-harmed or been suicidal. But I am not living a life, not one that anyone would call a “life”. Some of the issues are anxiety based, but probably more are self-esteem/confidence based.

As I’ve said before, never had a boyfriend, no romantic experiences, zilch. I don’t even think I’m ugly, which is a bonus I guess! It’s my personality I worry about. What if they don’t like me? What if we have nothing in common? The fact I tend to be drawn to super confident, popular people compounds that (because in my head someone confident and popular wouldn’t want to be friends with that weird shy girl, what would they have in common with her? Sounds stupid when written down but that’s how my brain works). Unfortunately I’m much too good at giving off “fuck off and leave me alone” vibes, which are probably a defence mechanism by now.

I also don’t show myself any self-respect... which is mainly the ASD in me, one of the symptoms is that people with ASD don’t tend to do self-care like brush hair/teeth etc. So if a guy sees two equally pretty girls, one with clean teeth, shiny hair and an aura of confidence and the other with not-so-great breath, frizzy hair and an aura of fear, well, it doesn’t take Einstein to work out which girl the guy would go for!! Admittedly you can deal with the hair and the breath but the confidence is the harder nut to crack.

When I was assessed for ASD, the woman said at the end that I wasn’t at crisis point, but that I should get intervention before I reached crisis point.

Oh, and despite the overall tone of my post, my mother reckons I’m fairly happy/jolly most of the time! which I guess I agree with. I can put on a front. I don’t really have any external triggers, just internal/mental ones.

[Deborah543]

Ah toffee, I really feel for you. I wander about asd myself as it's common in my family but more obvious in men. I'm assessed as dyslexic and dyspraxic, so am not interested in getting more diagnosis. My parents are typical Cambridge geeks and my mum had no friends until 6th form so worked hard on developing our social skills. I get really defensive when anyone asks how my mum was as a parent. I realise now we are very simular and she is a generally anxious person. I know the reason I'm getting support is because I'm pregnant but my older cousin with serious paranoid schizophrenia has been failed by the system. I didn't get much support a couple of years ago after being diagnosed with a psychotic episode then sent on my way... I did a lot of online research.

[Deborah543]

I also don't often bother with my hair, but my husband likes it that way. It was nice getting my haircut on Friday, something I rarely do. I normally hate my hair being touched but I've found a nice hairdressers recently and really needed the head massage. They don't insist on smalltalk which I can't do when I'm concentrating on keeping my head still and relaxing.

[Deborah543]

Also toffee, I don't have many external triggers, not any proper phobias, except maybe shopping and haircuts but they are not unbareable. I was phobic if telephone conversations as a child, thought I'd outgrown that but it's come back in pregnancy, and I have to do loads of phone calls for appointments etc. Phones always ringing at work, used to be fine. I'm a bit sound reactive, especially now I'm pregnant, love my headphones but can't be going around looking like a stroppy pregnant teenager all the time, I know I allready look young for my age. I feel like telling everyone who gives me a funny look, I'm 26 and my dog is not going to eat your child (he's a large staffie cross). I do feel young, but that's better than feeling old.

[Fairydust26]

WLmum what time of day are you taking them? I found it made me tired so I take it at night however it can interrupt some people’s sleep so taking it in the morning might work better.

[WLmum]

fairy I took half of one (so 25mg) yesterday morning and didn't sleep at all last night and only a short nap lunchtime today. I can't do it. I was anxious before but mostly functional - now I'm just a wreck. I can work or parent like this. I'm not going to take any more and will see if I can make it through for a bit longer. Maybe something will just shift and I'll start to feel better. But the sertraline hurdle is just too high for me.

How are you anyway - giving me lots of support - do you need any?

[Fairydust26]

WLmum sorry to hear you’ve had such a hard time on them hopefully you find something what works well for you whatever that may be. And thank you for asking that’s so nice of you we’re all here to support one another😊, Ive been doing okay these past few days surprisingly however I did feel myself slipping a little today trying not to dwell on it and just hoping it’s not going to be one step forward two steps back!

[WLmum]

That's good to read fairy, long may it continue :-)